TTC Check In — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

TTC Check In

This is the weekly check in for those who are trying to conceive or in the planning stages.

How's it going this week, folks (tipping hat to healz)?

QOTW: Is there anything you miss about your pre-TTC life?
Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
healz413

Re: TTC Check In

  • Hello all. We are heading in for our 7th iui and the 2nd this cycle. We decided to do a double iui cycle just to capitalize on the fact that I had 2 follicles and it's my last cycle.

    QOTD: I miss my nativity for sure. It didn't occur to me that we might have IF issues. We thought our biggest issue would be timing and sperm.

    Otherwise I miss thinking of vacations too. All our extra money these days goes right to fertility so thinking of lying on a beach somewhere with a daiquiri is a far-off thought.... Hopefully one day again!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

    image

  • I am 8dp5dt today. We haven't tested yet, and we don't plan to before the scheduled beta on Wednesday. I had a lot of cramping over the weekend, especially Saturday. My boobs are ridiculously huge and a bit sore, but I am blaming progesterone for that. I also have some lower back pain this morning (but that is not totally unheard of for me). I am also feeling exhausted (also could be caused by the progesterone and the fact that I have had restless nights the last two nights and haven't really slept well).

    I refuse to call any of the above things symptoms. I have learned my lesson from 5 failed IUI cycles NOT to think everything is a symptom. I am cautiously optimistic, but trying really, really hard not to get ahead of myself. I guess we will know either way on Wednesday...

    QOTW: I miss coffee. I miss having a full savings account. I miss what my body felt like before I pumped it full of all these drugs. I miss being a size 6.

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!

     

         *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581

     

    *********William George born June 4, 2014*********

    GoaliesWife123wishiwaspreggo
  • Loading the player...
  • I am 6dpiui. I was doing well the first two days and now I'm getting impatient. I am doing much better this cycle not contributing every physical issue to possible pregnancy. Our one year wedding anniversary is Sunday. I will be 12dpiui at that point and I think I will take my first hpt then. That would be an awesome anniversary present if it was positive.

    QOTW: I miss not being consumed with trying to make a baby. All of the timing for ovulation makes me a little crazy. I'm afraid of being too early and being too late. It seems that my body ovulates quickly (less than 24 hrs) after I get a positive OPK, so I worry very much about being too late.

    Me: 30  DW (aka C): 29

    Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12

    ***CP mentioned***

    We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm.  8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy.  We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET.  I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013. 

    11/14/14 -  Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good. 

    12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2

    12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)

    1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2

     ****All Welcome!****

    We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.

    image   

  • Haha! My nativity! Or my naïveté at least! Silly autocorrect!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

    image

    2MamazInSeattlewishiwaspreggoGreysmom13
  • edited September 2013
    Happy Monday, friends. I'm 8dpo today and am doing everything in my power not to test early. I have an acupuncture appointment today, so I'm interested in what she thinks. My boobs feel like someone used them as punching bags for the last week, my appetite is off, I have had more vivid dreams in the last week than I have my entire life, and my temps are good. I had a spike today, so that was a bonus. Despite all of that, I'm doing my best not to look at all of these as symptoms. 

    My DW is doing better this cycle not asking me about every symptom I am feeling. We had a real let down last month, so we're both trying to be realistic this cycle. 

    QOTD: I miss not temping or charting in general. I do like the fact that I know my body better than ever, but I don't miss the stress of ttc. 

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


    image
    image
    wishiwaspreggo
  • M and I are in the clinic for the last IUI into her ute before we move onto IVF with me.
    As she mentioned we decided to do two IUIs this cycle since we have the sperm, we have two follicles, and it is the last go. It looked like we were going to possibly get three follicles for a while but the third one quit on us.

    Here's to starting our last TWW (since IVF 5 day transfers make for more of a one week wait). I expect it to be very nerve wracking.

    I had to change my birth control because I was bleeding through the first one only two weeks into my cycle. I'm now on a pill that has a higher dose of estradiol. Hopefully I won't bleed through on that.

    I'm going to have another sonogram (joy!) in October to make sure my uterine cavity is clear since I did have polyps removed last January. Then hopefully everything will be clear to start Nov 21 when my provincial health insurance takes effect.

    QOTW: I miss being excited about TTC. I'm still excited about the prospect of pregnancy and baby but there was a time (about a year ago) when I still thought of this as a potentially easy and relatively romantic process.
    ****loss discussed*****

    We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.

    Our IUIs
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 

    ***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***

    FET #1 December 2014
    Intralipid infusion on Dec 10. Transfer of 1 day 3 nine-cell embryo into my uterus on Dec. 19. (acupuncture immediately before and after)
    BFP on Dec. 27; Beta 1 Jan 2 (14dp3dt): 665, Beta 2 Jan 4 (16dp3dt): 1859, Beta 3 Jan 6 (18dp3dt): 4449, Beta 4 Jan 10 (22dp3dt): 12,251.



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    wishiwaspreggo
  • KH826 said:

    I am 8dp5dt today. We haven't tested yet, and we don't plan to before the scheduled beta on Wednesday. I had a lot of cramping over the weekend, especially Saturday. My boobs are ridiculously huge and a bit sore, but I am blaming progesterone for that. I also have some lower back pain this morning (but that is not totally unheard of for me). I am also feeling exhausted (also could be caused by the progesterone and the fact that I have had restless nights the last two nights and haven't really slept well).

    I refuse to call any of the above things symptoms. I have learned my lesson from 5 failed IUI cycles NOT to think everything is a symptom. I am cautiously optimistic, but trying really, really hard not to get ahead of myself. I guess we will know either way on Wednesday...

    QOTW: I miss coffee. I miss having a full savings account. I miss what my body felt like before I pumped it full of all these drugs. I miss being a size 6.

    I'm impressed that you have managed not to test. I'm not sure what we will do with our IVF but I imagine that 8dp5dt is about when we'd stop being able to hold off. Will you test weds morn before the Beta or just wait for the phone call?
    Good luck!!! I'm hoping we will have reason to be jealous of you. :)
    ****loss discussed*****

    We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.

    Our IUIs
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 

    ***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***

    FET #1 December 2014
    Intralipid infusion on Dec 10. Transfer of 1 day 3 nine-cell embryo into my uterus on Dec. 19. (acupuncture immediately before and after)
    BFP on Dec. 27; Beta 1 Jan 2 (14dp3dt): 665, Beta 2 Jan 4 (16dp3dt): 1859, Beta 3 Jan 6 (18dp3dt): 4449, Beta 4 Jan 10 (22dp3dt): 12,251.



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • @healz - I think we are just going to wait for the phone call after the beta. I don't just want to know "if" I am pregnant, I want to know how strong the beta is. I don't want to get excited by a positive HPT until I know that we have a strong beta. Chemicals are more common with IVF, plus the trigger shot that I took prior to egg retrieval was about twice as powerful as the ovidrel trigger, and I just don't want to risk that still being in my system and somehow giving us a false positive. I don't want to squint at faint lines and try to over analyze. So we are just going to wait.

    Oh, and also, congrats and good luck on your IUI today to you and Manada! Since you are doing two this cycle, will the second one be tomorrow?!?! I am excited for you two. I hope that you won't have to be jealous of me for long, if this lucky # 7 IUI does the trick! :)  

    ...and one more unrelated thing that just dawned on me... it is at least 50% possible at this point, that this could be my last TTC check-in. For a while. Hopefully. I don't know how I feel about that...

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!

     

         *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581

     

    *********William George born June 4, 2014*********

    [Deleted User]
  • We did one IUI yesterday and one today. M ovulated at least her left side bigger follicle sometime between the two and the right side either went shortly before our ultrasound this morning or will go soon. So timing looks good.

    I hope this is your last TTC checkin, KH826!
    ****loss discussed*****

    We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.

    Our IUIs
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 

    ***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***

    FET #1 December 2014
    Intralipid infusion on Dec 10. Transfer of 1 day 3 nine-cell embryo into my uterus on Dec. 19. (acupuncture immediately before and after)
    BFP on Dec. 27; Beta 1 Jan 2 (14dp3dt): 665, Beta 2 Jan 4 (16dp3dt): 1859, Beta 3 Jan 6 (18dp3dt): 4449, Beta 4 Jan 10 (22dp3dt): 12,251.



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    [Deleted User]
  • @Healz413 & @Manada - OMG I am lining up our collective energies to create two healthy little babies (or three, since you had 2 follies)! I'm so hopeful for you both :) p.s. I will visit Toronto soon and I so hope we get to watch Healz drink while we enjoy sparking water with lime Manada!

    @KH826: Last night, I said to J "maybe I won't POAS this time..." as you and HerBabyMama, + my c/p last time inspired me a little. She said "Yeah, I'd like to see how that works out for ya." And she then proceeded to LOL, she knows me! I applaud you waiting! For me, in both cases I got my BFP on 5dp5dt. I feel like it's just a ticket to play the next round (Beta 1) which I learned last time doesn't really count, but gets you a ticket to the next round (Beta 2)...My beta day this time (Oct 3) we have a day-long all-hands meeting for my team. Sigh. I wouldn't want a BFN call or email during that. I think for me, POAS is just to tell me if I'm 'out' - not if I'm 'in'... maybe I could wait until 6dp5dt this time!! Congrats and making it the whole way.

    GW and Stace - FX for your TWW to keep going fast. Sounds like things are moving along!

     

    AFM...well, turns out today they are puttin' a baby in me at 2:30 PST! Since it was so late, I decided to spend the morning at the spa getting a massage and body wrap. I'm also changing it up and doing acupuncture before and possibly after - and I made a pot of chili last night so my dinner is all set for tonight. I found out it's the same doctor doing the transfer as with our loss baby, and we LOVED her so that was exciting to find out! Otherwise, I got a few of the old wives' tale items (pineapple core, pomegranate juice, etc.) and from here, I'm on the 'trust what will be will be' train! But I'm hoping what will 'be' is a live, healthy full-term baby and healthy mom!

    Thanks for all the well wishes - I feel the love, and it means a lot to me!! xxoo

     

    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


    imageimageimageimage

    KH826GoaliesWife123
  • I just started my Provera yesterday so I'll be on that for a week and then I'll expect AF.  Then I can start Clomid!  Woot!  I'm excited to try again with a doctor who knows what she's doing :) I am going to call my cryobank to have my new sperm vials shipped to my RE's office.  I'm gonna send both at once since they'll store the vials for up to a year for free and it'll save me some good $$ on shipping in the end.  I'm promising myself not to go psycho over my next 2WW.  I'm gonna buy me some Wondfo strips so I can test daily.  I think that'll keep my crazy at bay since I'll feel like I have more control/knowledge.

    So right now I'm just waiting for my meds to work and continuing life as usual.  I'm renewing my weight loss efforts today.  I've got to shed some lbs if I want to have a healthy pregnancy.  Mostly this will involve eating more fruits/veggies and reducing carbs/meat.  And of course, exercise.  I go to the gym late at night so when I come home starving I can just go to bed and sleep the hunger away.  It works great because if I am actually really hungry (and not just "Boo hoo! I exercised so I EARNED THIS COOKIE!" hunger) I have awesome food porn dreams.  And like my friend told me, dream food has no calories ;)

    QOTW: Um... I don't really miss anything pre-TTC.  I guess maybe not being so consumed with baby stuff and fertility tips.  But before this I was consumed with politics and being angry at the religious right so I suppose this new focus is actually an improvement :) I do indulge in some right-wing-bashing once in a while but it's kept to a minimum now that issues with DOMA have been resolved and we won't see an election again for a while.

    IUI 08/2013 - natural cycle, BFN
    IUI 10/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 11/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 03/2014 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 05/2014 - Femara + FSH, BFN
    IUI 06/2014 - FSH, BFP! DS born 02/2015

    TTC #2 (and #3)
    W IUI 08/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W IUI 10/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W diagnosed as low AMH
    Me: PCOS
    Myo-Inositol, NAC, prenatals
    IUI 03/2018 - Gonal F - BFN

    INVOcell IVF September 2018 - BFP!!! B/G Twins born 04/2019
  • So you all know my ute is fluffy. My wife is picking up my FET meds tonight and on Thursday I will start Lupron and progesterone. I stop estrogen and progesterone after 5 days, should get a period by the end of next week, and then we are in the FET cycle.

    And ever since my lining check, I have been progressively freaking out. Immediately I started having trouble sleeping. I have had two terrible anxiety dreams, one of which was so disturbing I am not even sharing it here (the other one involved finding seven barely-alive newborn puppies in an aquarium in my house and trying to find a home for them, which was sort of bizarre but was ultimately not nearly as distressing). I feel really negative about this cycle and about our embryos. I feel like I'm at the edge of a cliff and afraid to jump off, and people are telling me there's a net that will catch me but I don't trust them. I've only seen these cycles end badly, and I'm having trouble mustering the courage to believe that this one won't. I haven't been doing my Circle + Bloom recordings lately (since they are cycle-specific, they don't resonate as much when I'm in a diagnostic cycle), and I think starting them up again (Thursday!) will be helpful. Certain Bumpie pals (here and on TTCAL -- you know who you are!) have been amazing sounding boards for my fears and have been doing their best to build my confidence. But I'm a bit of a wreck right now.

    I've also been feeling really nostalgic for my pre-TTC life, which is why I chose the QOTD. I miss living my life for me rather than being a slave to fertility treatments. I miss running, I miss my goal-weight body (and clothes!), I miss being able to make plans and take on projects without considering whether I might or will be pregnant at a certain time. I miss feeling strong and successful and able and ambitious. In the past few days, I've started to really reconsider how far I want to go to have a child. A couple of months ago I would have said that I wanted to do whatever it took -- my wife's eggs, donor eggs, donor embryos, adoption, whatever -- and now I am reconsidering that. It is getting to the point where I want my life back almost as much as I want a child. Right now, I feel very strongly that if none of our four remaining embryos produce a child, that will be it. And there is some relief in the idea that I can go back to just enjoying life rather than living for something that might not happen. I want to travel, train for a marathon (really? maybe!), get back into writing. It's comforting to me, right now, to think I only have to make it through two more transfers at the most. If they don't work, I'm off the hook and I can move on. Which used to feel like giving up, and now it feels like giving myself a clean slate to start over, build a different life, and enjoy it.

    Vent over. Full steam ahead?
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @2MamazInSeattle - no twin wishes for me please!   Obvs. we will take and love, and nurture and delight in whatever we get - - but my preference is definitely for a singleton!     (now in H's body, I am WAY more open to the idea of twins!  hypocritical I know.....)

    @KH826 - you have nerves of steel!   I like to stock up on the dollar store tests and start peeing on them somewhere around 10DPO just because I am totally someone who would want to catch a squinter on a test...  that said, I've also never been pregnant before, and I've never been through a CP so I don't know if that would change at some point....    But I also know that if I got a BFP on a POAS our RE would be totally cool with us going in for an early beta....


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

    image

  • I'm with @KH826, @ball.and.chain.

    Your feelings make a lot of sense to me (not that they have to to be valid of course). I'm sending you the very best wishes.
    ****loss discussed*****

    We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.

    Our IUIs
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 

    ***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***

    FET #1 December 2014
    Intralipid infusion on Dec 10. Transfer of 1 day 3 nine-cell embryo into my uterus on Dec. 19. (acupuncture immediately before and after)
    BFP on Dec. 27; Beta 1 Jan 2 (14dp3dt): 665, Beta 2 Jan 4 (16dp3dt): 1859, Beta 3 Jan 6 (18dp3dt): 4449, Beta 4 Jan 10 (22dp3dt): 12,251.



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    wishiwaspreggo2MamazInSeattle
  • BW and I inseminated last weekend so we are right in the middle of the TWW. We will test this coming Sunday (ok ok probably Friday)!!
    2MamazInSeattlewishiwaspreggo
  • Thanks, @KH826 and @healz413.  Had a good talk with my wife this evening about everything.  I'm not going to say I feel a lot better, but we're working on it.  Your support means a lot.
    :x
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    2MamazInSeattle
  • Started OPK this morning and waiting for my LH surge so I can go in for my first IUI.  Nervous that it is happening so soon, but excited to finally start trying.  Ready for my first TWW!

    Me: 30  DP: 30

    TTC#1

    IUI#1 9/26/13 BFN

    IUI#2 10/26/13 BFP beta #1 99 #2 456

    2/20/2014 Brynlee Madeline is taken too soon at 19weeks she was perfect

    IUI#3 6/10/14 BFP beta #1 276 beta #2 722 20w A/S shows we are having a girl

     

     

     

  • Haven't checked in for a long time now. Feeling rather optimistic this time around. We took a month off last month after our 4th iui. This now makes our 5th and hopefully last. We are now 5dpo.

    We took a break last month because we were heart broke after ordering 5 vials of a new donor that we were SUPER excited about to discover the sperm bank sold us bad sperm! They gave us a 1 vial "credit". Ugh!!! So we upped the letr. To 4 pills a day and planned to use 2 vials in an attempt to get enough to make it worth our attempt.

    Medically this month looks and feels better than ever. We have THREE eggs to work with, sperm mobility looke better but we used 2 anyway and a trigger shot.

    We know S CAN get prego (1st iui ended in a missed miscarriage). We just need everything else to cooperate.

    I have always wanted a summer baby...or in this case maybe babies...so hoping I get my June sticky beans!!!

    S has had spotting last 2 days that has been brownish in color but pretty consistant. Pretty sure it's too early to be implantation bleeding.

    I miss....no 2ww and the grief that comes with it. I miss spending time w my NON emotional wife! It's AMAZING how emotional ttc can be.


    10 medicated IUI's (3 with injectables). 
    IUI #1 (medicated) Jan. 2013-BFP!!!!- Beta's didn't double, MTX shot for possible ectopic.
    8 IUI's between April 13-April 14 = BFN 
    IUI #10 and final before IVF, injectables May 2014- BFP!!!!  TWINS!!!!

    7 week ultrasound showed 2 wonderful heartbeats!
    8 weeks to the ER with vaginal bleeding while on vacations!  Diagnosed SubChorionic Hemorrhage.  Babies are both great.
    9 week ultrasound showed both babies are still great.
  • BFN this month. Back to CD 3 for us. :(

    CageyMack
    37, married to my favorite person in the world, DW! One darling surfer-girl (12) and one darling, sweet boy born 3/16/13.

    5/2013 Started TTC #3, DW's turn: 5/2013: Diagnostics (shg) and surgery (polyp rem.) for best chances. July-Oct: IUI # 1-4, medicated, monitored, triggered.  All BFN. IVF in Jan May. Sheesh. Whoop! IVF#1 cycle started 4/2/14. 5/1: 19 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, ICSI'd.  4 fertilized.   Only 2 to transfer/freeze stage. 5/6: Two embryos transferred. 5/15: Beta #1 9dp5dt is 134! BFP! 5/19: Beta #2 13dp5dt is 672! B'erFP! 5/21: Beta #3 15dp5dt is 1853.  Yay!


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    "Things separate from their stories have no meaning. They are only shapes. Of a certain size and color. A certain weight. When their meaning has become lost to us they no longer have even a name. The story on the other hand can never be lost from its place in the world for it is that place.” ― Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing

  • lets see where are we....  today is day 7 of my tww.  i am going mental wondering if i can test yet and if everything is a symptom.  i feel better about this iui but i don't know.  until we know we are acting like i am
  • CageyMack said:
    BFN this month. Back to CD 3 for us. :(
    I'm sorry :( 

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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    image
  • Well, looks like CD 1 for me. I was hopeful despite spotting yesterday. The cramps I have today are probably the worst cramps I've ever experienced, so add that with knowing we have a bfn, what a fun day.

    I'm thankful my wife is home. I'm thankful for motrin and a heating pad. 


    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


    image
    image
  • So sorry, @GoaliesWife123 and @CageyMack :( BFNs suck.
    IUI 08/2013 - natural cycle, BFN
    IUI 10/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 11/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 03/2014 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 05/2014 - Femara + FSH, BFN
    IUI 06/2014 - FSH, BFP! DS born 02/2015

    TTC #2 (and #3)
    W IUI 08/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W IUI 10/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W diagnosed as low AMH
    Me: PCOS
    Myo-Inositol, NAC, prenatals
    IUI 03/2018 - Gonal F - BFN

    INVOcell IVF September 2018 - BFP!!! B/G Twins born 04/2019
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