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just need to talk

rachaelT28rachaelT28 member
in Single Parents
So today was hard, I guess I realized that my baby is coming anyway now and I really will be raising three kids alone since my husband lost his mind six months ago. People try to tell me he must have been planning to do what he did, but I was my husband's best friend we did everything together. He was not planning this. I truly believe this is a midlife crisis, I just can't sacrifice my three sons for it.
My oldest son who's 11 told me today that he does not care if he ever sees his dad again but he should make time for his 3year old brother who worships him. I sat in the bathroom and cried for him. My husband worshipped that boy for years they did everything together, now my son can't stand the sight of him. My husband only sees his sons every two weeks for a very short period of time and that's if I push the issue. Most days he does not even ask how they are or how his unborn child is doing either. All of this behavior is completely out of character to who my husband was 6 months ago. At first I wanted to wait all this out, but now I have just decided to let him be selfish with someone else and protect myself and my boys from him. It's all really very sad, he cheats on the gf he moved in to replace me and he lied to her so much he knows she is getting ready to leave when he's thrown out of the house by me in the next two weeks or so. I just shake my head because he tells me this stuff like we are still bestfriends and all I can think is I am not your bestfriend I am about to become your worst nightmare. I know this is a long post but I just needed to talk.
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Re: just need to talk

  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    edited September 2013
    Im so sorry your going through this. And im sorry for your sons. But just know youve made the best choice you could based on the cards you were given.

    I hope it gets better for you soon
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  • rachaelT28rachaelT28 member
    It will get better soon, because I will continue to do this all alone and I won't miss the birth of my third son, he will. I won't miss my boys growing up or having the life I always planned for them he will. My lawyer told me I don't have to tell him anything when the baby is born, I don't even have to tell him I have gone to the hospital. I can wait till after my baby and I are safely back home and have my lawyers paralegal contact him to tell him the baby was born. It helps me sleep at night let me tell you.
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    edited September 2013
    It's good that you're staying positive, because it definitely will get better soon.  I didn't tell BD when I was going into labor, he actually found out because a friend of a friend texted him "congrats" a couple hours after she was born and he flipped out "this is how I'm finding out?!" Well, yeah, you shithead. Anyway, your STBXH made his bed and now he has to lay in it.  And being a child of divorce, all I can say for your sons is that eventually it gets better.  My mom left my dad for another man and we actually didn't see her again for almost a year before we found out she was still in town.  Now, 20 years later, we're just as close as we were before she left. Be prepared though, your oldest son may need some counseling to get as far as I did.  I had a lot of counseling to get to the point of allowing my mom to be my best friend again.  Good luck, much love and good vibes sent your way.
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  • jersangljersangl member
    I know how u feel. It's very sad and hard. The worst is seeing ur children hurt and in pain. It's hard. The only advice I have is hopefully time will heal. You have enough love to give all three children. You are their rock and always will be. You stay strong they will stay strong
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