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Auntie

mommyof4boysmommyof4boys member
in Special Needs
Can you share info about a twice exceptional child? We found out Chris is gifted.
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Re: Auntie

  • mommyof4boysmommyof4boys member
    It posted before I was ready...we are thinking he's more Aspergers like than PDD NOS and I am going crazy dealing with the kid who thinks he's right all the time. Tonight he had a meltdown because I didn't give him the specific sandwich with the two pieces of bread he wanted rather than the two I used. He took Matthew's bread for his sandwich and crumpled it up after poking holes in it.
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  • mommyof4boysmommyof4boys member
    -auntie- said:


    1. Black and white thinking. In his mind, "being right" is good and being wrong is "bad". This can lead to an almost OCD-like compulsion to be "in the right" even in the face of it not being the case. This can be very socially off-putting so it needs to be addressed. Things you can do are model gracious acceptance of your own errors, accidents and mistakes and insist he does as well. Kind of a fake it, 'til you make it scenario.

    I've been saying for YEARS that he has OCD like tendencies.  

    2. It could be Chris doesn't understand the socially constructed hierarchy that put adults in charge. It's said kids with AS are the natural democrats. DS certainly is. He may need to be taught the adults are in charge whether he agrees or not. And that teachers, in particular, need to be respected for the role they fill if not their personal character.  

    I think this might be part of it.  I typically find myself yelling "I'm the boss of you!" to him.  I know that's not the most grown up answer but he drives me batty! :P

    3. Specific to this incident. It sounds like he has extremely rigid behavior. In his mind, the sandwich was going to consist of the slices he "picked", when reality didn't jibe, he couldn't handle it. He needs more practice. Deliberate sabotage is the way to go. Is Chris the baby? The one who always seemed to struggle the most of your 3 younger kids? It could be this was exacerbated by his birth order- you may have been accommodating his "needs" to avoid behaviors and now he doesn't have the emotional bandwidth to be OK when he doesn't get his way. 

    He is the baby of the family.  I have sabotaged him with most things.  Last night the entire schedule was thrown off.  We got home and had to do homework right away.  We went to CCD at 5-6:15 and had to run home to have me make sandwiches and run out the door for Jon's 8 year physical at 7.  

    After we calmed down, I figured out his reasoning.  He wanted butter and jelly sandwich where the butter and jelly were on one piece and the second piece also had butter and jelly on it.  I did butter on one side and jelly on the other.

    Sohn's "Parenting Your Aspergers Child" might be a good read for you. It talks about mixing things up to build flexible thinking.
    I'm having a really hard time coping with the needs of all of the boys.  I said to my husband today that I think it's time for me to do something about it.  He said he's noticed as well but didn't want to bring it up and make me upset.
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