RE: Is anyone really "doing it all?"

laurakaz13 · September 2013

The discussion below is great to read. I know we do not do it all. We hire people to do a lot of it for us.

Just curious, does anyone know people in real life who have "Pinterest" houses, lives, etc.? I have never met someone with a perfect little house, gorgeous yard, perfectly dressed kids, etc. Do these people exist?

SunAndRain · September 2013

Yes! My good friend works full time and her home and children are always impeccible! She sources nothing out. I never hear of them going out to dinner so she cooks all meals. AND they eat very healthy. She is fit and exercises regularly. And she IRONS all her children's clothing. I once had a conversation with her about letting certain things go for the sake of...ya know...sleep and all that stuff. She wouldn't hear of it. She is a great running buddy of mine for several years (well I don't run much anymore) and before, during and after her pregnancy she was never once late to our early morning meeting, even if she had her infant or both children in tow. I don't know how she does it.

shannm · September 2013

My SILs are close to it. They don't have kids yet but I bet they will maintain it. Not without hiring out a ton though.

laurakaz13 · September 2013

I mean, my house is super clean (service) and I am very fit. But I certainly drop the ball in the home cooked meal arena. I would have a nervous breakdown if I tried to do the impeccable house/kids thing! One thing I truly need is sleep and I already don't get enough.

Nechie122 · September 2013

It's hard to tell. For instance, speaking personally, when people come over, I certainly think we put on a good show. We have a lovely home that cleans up well, we spend a fair amount on our clothes so we look put together, DH is an awesome cook.

I assume the same is true for other people. When we go over to their homes, they're showing us their best selves. But we don't always know what goes on behind the curtain.

shakinros · September 2013

No one with kids.

laurakaz13 · September 2013

Nechie122 said:

It's hard to tell. For instance, speaking personally, when people come over, I certainly think we put on a good show. We have a lovely home that cleans up well, we spend a fair amount on our clothes so we look put together, DH is an awesome cook. I assume the same is true for other people. When we go over to their homes, they're showing us their best selves. But we don't always know what goes on behind the curtain.

I agree with this completely. We do this too. We have a great house, beautiful yard, etc. But we definitely make it look shiny and spotless for guests. It's not like that all the time!

I'll never be a Pinterest queen though. I just can't be bothered and I would rather be outside playing with DD, working out, hanging with DH, etc. etc. etc.

traveltheworld · September 2013

Nechie122 said:
It's hard to tell. For instance, speaking personally, when people come over, I certainly think we put on a good show. We have a lovely home that cleans up well, we spend a fair amount on our clothes so we look put together, DH is an awesome cook.

I assume the same is true for other people. When we go over to their homes, they're showing us their best selves. But we don't always know what goes on behind the curtain.

Same. I believe we present well on paper. We have dinner parties and/or go out with friends every weekend, our house always looks nice when we have people over, and we generally look like we have it "together". But, we have lots of help from our parents, and we out-source a lot of stuff.

Netty_3 · September 2013

I have a friend that claims to...actually two. One is a craft blogger do I guess its her job to...and the other is a sahm.

jf198400 · September 2013

My SIL has a gorgeous home but they are loaded and her mom is an interior decorator and they outsource a ton.
My other SIL is super crafty and does tons of Pinterest worthy stuff, but she isn't married yet and has no kids.
My 3rd SIL has a very successful career.
I'm just all around average lol. I think it shows you can't "do it all" you choose what's most important to you.

skibunny59 · September 2013

Kimbus22 said:

No one the works full time. SAHM's with kids in school all day, yes.

This.

sugarbear0524 · September 2013

I don't hire anything out. I work full-time, and it certainly shows!

I can pull it all together when needed, but one a daily basis, it's the house that suffers. I give myself high marks in how my son looks and in the cooking department, but I'm a big fail at the perfectly clean/beautifully decorated house benchmark.

mexicolombiana · September 2013

I agree w/other PPs above. We put on a good show in my house. I'm the type of person that does a lot of "stuff" and people always think I'm doing everything perfectly and I'm in shape, and blah blah blah. So for example, I have always played volleyball and softball in the past. This past summer I didn't play any sports, but people on fb think I did. So one friend commented "OMG how do you get everything done and still play sports?".

Well she's wrong because I didn't even play sports this summer, but people have selective memory and think I'm playing on teams 5 days a week ( I used to before kids). Then I'm taking a beginning ballet class on Sundays and people ALWAYS comment "OMG how do you find time for ballet with your kids?!" Well that's a dumb comment. It's easy because my ballet class is the same time as my toddler's ballet class.

And I've been eating healthy and going to the gym, but I still look HORRIBLE in a bathing suit, yet people really THINK they know about how I look. I don't know if that makes sense. Maybe I'm just more in shape than THEY are and that's all they see? I personally know many moms who are runners and look awesome. I just don't think it's that big of a deal and people should stop comparing themselves to others.

So. In short, people don't know what they're talking about and it's REALLY hard to get an idea of how people live by just seeing snippets of their lives on FB. Also I do a lot of crap around my house when my kids go to sleep and I go to bed around midnight every night.

We all just have it together as much as possible, and to some people that appears to be impressive, that's all. Also there are some damn lazy people out there and if you do just a few things that are "cool" or pinterest-like or sporty, they think you're doing it all. Nah, I just find time to do stuff I like!

Virgo17 · September 2013

I don't know anyone who truly does it all. Something has to give when you work all day and have kids.

I would say we are like others in that we can put on a "good show". Our kids are always fixed when we go out, but when at home for the day are running around in pajamas or in DS's case a diaper (that child loves to be naked). We can straighten up quickly for company, but most of the time there are toys scattered around, the vacuum needs to be ran, and there are dishes in the sink. Our house isn't filthy, but definitely not pinterest-worthy all of the time.

I can cook, but it's not my favorite thing. We usually cook a good amount on Sundays and one other day during the week and eat leftovers. The kids have pizza and chicken nuggets on a weekly basis and I am not stressed about it.

I will not make a wreath, my own laundry detergent, or the kid's halloween costumes. I can appreciate handmade things, that's why I buy from etsy!

There are never enough hours in the day, so I prioritize what is important. My house is generally clean enough for me, everyone has clean clothes and food to eat, and we enjoy our family time together. In 20 years, I will not care whether or not my family ate meals from scratch every night and if I scrubbed the floor every day. I will put everything in maintenance mode and enjoy my kids while they are little.

Mustardseed2007 · September 2013

I know a couple SAHM's that have pinterest lives but no working moms.

cecilyandgautam · September 2013

Edited - I think I missed the point of the question at first.

We do it all ourselves in the sense that we don't have hired help, other than daycare of course, but that doesn't mean I'm snapping photos of our lifestyle and pinning or FBing it every 5 seconds. We manage the house as best we can, some days that's pretty good but some days it's a mess. The thing that we really do put effort into is cooking - we cook from scratch and we ate healthy, fresh food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner the vast majority of the time. If I were to open a Pinterest account for any purposes, it would be for cooking. Other hobbies, like DIY hair accessories, are just not my thing and I'd rather spend time with my daughter or do a load of laundry.

cecilyandgautam · September 2013

CTGirl30 said:

cecilyandgautam said:

I'd rather spend time with my daughter or do a load of laundry.

this just seems a weird thing to say. Does doing a load of laundry really take time away from your daughter? Not like you are washing by hand or are you?
Agreed...takes 2 seconds to toss in a loaf and I put away when kids are in bed.

Sorry, I initially thought this thread about about "having it all" by having a Pinterest-esque home, ie - doing a bunch of DIY hobbies all the time, which is not my thing. That's what I meant by I'd rather just hang out with my daughter than make custom, home made seasonal home decor. But I edited to make it more relevant - whatever is done in our home, we do ourselves but that doesn't mean we're doing it "all"

sweetsunnyc · September 2013

I am the type of person that goes non stop and have always prided myself on doing it all- full time work week, grad school, exercise every day, big social life, perfectly cleaned and organized home....THEN, I had my children. Now my definition of "doing it all" is totally different. At this point, I would define it as making sure that my kids are loved and attended to, homework is done, bills are paid, the house is semi clean, getting in a run a few times a week and having a few good laughs with my husband. I try to be crafty with the kids, but I have never actually executed a Pintrest pin.

I do put on a good show when I know that people are coming over- the house is sparkling clean, candles are lit, kids look perfect, but if you stopped over unattended, the house would be nuts with the kids and dog bouncing of the walls. It's more important to me to have fun with my family rather than making sure everything is perfect.

DaisyJanie · September 2013

I know someone who has the perfect house, but she just had a baby yesterday so I'll be interested in how things go. I'm pretty jealous of the nursery pics she posted - my poor kid has a beige-walled, mostly-undecorated room.

APendola · September 2013

Haha...I go to work, take care of my daughter, keep fit and healthy...but my house is a freakin' mess.

dglvrk2 · September 2013

On the surface, yes. I know several people who seem perfect. The have awesome careers, beautiful families, gorgeous post-baby bodies, and those beautiful people all live in a a beautiful house. Inevitably - whenever I spend much time listening to them - I learn things are by no means perfect. One of these divas has a father loosing a battle to cancer and a mother who is struggling to come to grips with this. Others are consistently bombarded by demands of family or are underwater with mortgages.

My family is cute, but we do not buy designer clothes. I'm in good shape, but more importantly love running. We live in a nice SF suburb; in a VERY modest home. However, we can afford it. DH and I are good at what we do, but could make more money if we worked elsewhere.....I'm no Pinterest lady, but think, when you dig deeper than rainbow pancakes, I have it just as good, or even better, than many of them. :-)

Meery82 · September 2013

No way. We live in a nice house, but I wouldn't call it Pinterest worthy. Maybe some would. Parts of my house are clean. Some parts are disasters. I work full time. My job isn't bad and I make good money, but I'm ready for a change. I have a happy marriage. My kid is happy, fed healthy, some organic, food, and dressed fairly nicely. I don't do much for myself anymore. Not like I did before I had a baby. It's starting to catch up with me. I need to eat healthier and start exercising again. I feel gross and unhealthy. And buy some new damn clothes. I would say some aspects of my life are enviable. Others are not. I'm sure that's probably the case for most people.