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Special Needs
Micelle78
member
Question for auntie about MERLD
Micelle78
member
Auntie,
I am hoping that you can answer something that has been on my mind for a long time. My son turned three this summer and has been in speech therapy for almost a year. He has mixed expressive-receptive language delay and SPD, far-sided, color blind etc..
I am sure that you have seen a few of my posts on here. To recap, I think he is very smart. He has this crazy ability to remember things that he may have heard only a few times. For instance, he pointed at letters-- before he said much more than ma-ma and da-da. He learned the whole alphabet in about a week. Same thing with numbers. He even recognized the pattern of how they work. He pointed to a few double digit numbers and proceeded to make the connection of how the number sequence works and can name almost any number you write down.
He saw a map of the USA and pointed at each state to ask me the names and in about 2 weeks could point out each state and the name and took a puzzle of the states and put it together with no help. Despite being colorblind he has known all his colors since 2.5 and was using words like octagon and trapaziod to describe parts of his toys and objects in the room. He just recently started making sounds for all the letters after playing an app on the Kindle Fire and went through the whole alphabet and said A says ahhh, B says buh-- made it all the way to Z without me ever teaching him a thing. He walks around finding words or points them out at the store and sounds the words out. I have feeling he will be reading soon. We went to IHOP and his placemat had flags and he was very interested in knowing what they were. He is the same way with electronics and figured out how to turn on a Kindle, swipe the apps and choose one, then go to the main menu on his own shortly after turning two.
Despite these strengths, he has major SPD and only recently would use a spoon (sensory avoiding) and we still struggle with him eating more than chicken, cheese, yogurt, crackers, and cereal. He also has very limited ability to have any sort of conversation that a 3yo should be able to have. He can say sentences like "I want ....." "oooh thats a big red truck." "I want to go outside" stuff that is simple like that. He has a very hard time with questions. He couldn't answer "what are you doing?" or "what did you do today?" Those do not have rehearsed simple responses. Of course its a million times better than it was a year ago-- no doubt. He had no verbs last year. Our SLP is the most amazing woman and so is our OT.
I guess after all that rambling is, I was wondering if you have ever met a child that appears to have a high IQ and has an receptive-expressive language delay. Did that child's MERLD problems lessen over time and not be as noticeable? As a mom, I do not have the mommy goggles on. I know this is very likely something he will struggle with for his lifetime. I was just wondering if in your experience, these children get better to a point that they appear more normal than not. I guess I mean they can follow the conversations of their peers.
I appreciate your response and I know you have known so many families and kids. i was hoping that you could give me a realistic expectation, even though I know all kids are different. TIA
I am hoping that you can answer something that has been on my mind for a long time. My son turned three this summer and has been in speech therapy for almost a year. He has mixed expressive-receptive language delay and SPD, far-sided, color blind etc..
I am sure that you have seen a few of my posts on here. To recap, I think he is very smart. He has this crazy ability to remember things that he may have heard only a few times. For instance, he pointed at letters-- before he said much more than ma-ma and da-da. He learned the whole alphabet in about a week. Same thing with numbers. He even recognized the pattern of how they work. He pointed to a few double digit numbers and proceeded to make the connection of how the number sequence works and can name almost any number you write down.
He saw a map of the USA and pointed at each state to ask me the names and in about 2 weeks could point out each state and the name and took a puzzle of the states and put it together with no help. Despite being colorblind he has known all his colors since 2.5 and was using words like octagon and trapaziod to describe parts of his toys and objects in the room. He just recently started making sounds for all the letters after playing an app on the Kindle Fire and went through the whole alphabet and said A says ahhh, B says buh-- made it all the way to Z without me ever teaching him a thing. He walks around finding words or points them out at the store and sounds the words out. I have feeling he will be reading soon. We went to IHOP and his placemat had flags and he was very interested in knowing what they were. He is the same way with electronics and figured out how to turn on a Kindle, swipe the apps and choose one, then go to the main menu on his own shortly after turning two.
Despite these strengths, he has major SPD and only recently would use a spoon (sensory avoiding) and we still struggle with him eating more than chicken, cheese, yogurt, crackers, and cereal. He also has very limited ability to have any sort of conversation that a 3yo should be able to have. He can say sentences like "I want ....." "oooh thats a big red truck." "I want to go outside" stuff that is simple like that. He has a very hard time with questions. He couldn't answer "what are you doing?" or "what did you do today?" Those do not have rehearsed simple responses. Of course its a million times better than it was a year ago-- no doubt. He had no verbs last year. Our SLP is the most amazing woman and so is our OT.
I guess after all that rambling is, I was wondering if you have ever met a child that appears to have a high IQ and has an receptive-expressive language delay. Did that child's MERLD problems lessen over time and not be as noticeable? As a mom, I do not have the mommy goggles on. I know this is very likely something he will struggle with for his lifetime. I was just wondering if in your experience, these children get better to a point that they appear more normal than not. I guess I mean they can follow the conversations of their peers.
I appreciate your response and I know you have known so many families and kids. i was hoping that you could give me a realistic expectation, even though I know all kids are different. TIA
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Question for auntie about MERLD
Yes my son is very good at problem solving and to me its amazing because it is all self-taught for the most part. i will find him doing stuff and its crazy. One example is puzzles. He put together a 50 piece puzzle by himself after doing it with me a couple of weeks. He has other puzzles in the 15-20 piece range that he does rather quickly-- like 5 minutes or less. About 2 months ago he looked at me and said "Utah"-- he had made blocks into the shape of Utah. He likes duplos and only gets frustrated when his trouble with fine motor skills keep him from clicking the pieces well.
He does like to figure things out that are not just electronics. At first it was annoying because he did things like pinching his fingers more than once trying to look at the mechanism of a drawer in the filing cabinet for instance. He put his eyeball as close as he could. he did this OVER AND OVER. We have to close every door in the house because he has a need to get into stuff much like a young toddler. He is SUPER curious. He observes things almost to an obsessive point until I think he is finally satisfied as to how it works. I know some of this is age appropriate, but some is not.
His MERLD keeps us from explaining to him and him understanding why he shouldn't do things--like tings that he can get hurt doing. He does have amazing almost error free rote memory too. He remembers where things were even if we haven't been somewhere in a long time. He recalls words I have only said once-- like lasso the other day when I was reading him a book. Its like he hears it once and its in his head. Tell him the name of something or the name of a shape/punctuation mark etc and he knows it forever.
When he was barely two-- he held up a foam number 6 and said "six" and then flipped it-- looked up at me and said "9". He more recently did this with a lower case "i" and said "i" and then flipped it over and said "exclamation point" When he sees the number 1 in context of other numbers he will call it a one-- if its near other letters he will refer to it as a lowercase "L" Same goes for the letter "o" and the number "zero". He ALWAYS calls it the appropriate name based on context which amazes me.
The flag thing is new. He started out calling all of the flags American flags, but a trip to IHOP and he now calls them their country's name. He was pretty excited about it too. Speaking of the states, you could draw a state and he would tell you what it was-- it does not have to be the same picture he learned them from.
When he was almost 2.5 he wanted to also know the proper terms for everything. It was a truck, a bull dozer, a dumptruck-- not just a car. It was like this for a lot of things.
What baffles me is that his language is extremely atypical. So he does not completely match an aspie profile because its not a higher level or even normal level of language. He is also very affectionate, very outgoing, loves everyone, and wants the joint attention. I know all kids are different, but he really is very social. However he is very quick to figure things out and an amazing rote memory too.
When I said he can't answer "What are you doing?" I seriously mean he would not answer you because he does not even know what you said. That sentence has no meaning yet. We have been working SO HARD on verbs using Kindle apps and flashcards. Things like a girl throwing a ball he will say "Girl throwing ball" but this is only for the past few months and I am not always sure if this flashcard will carry over to a IRL situation but thats the goal. So its very limited in what you can ask him but his expressive language seems to be getting better than his receptive right now. He has the tools to build sentences, but they are used mostly for describing pictures in a book or telling me he wants to go bye-bye or wants something to eat, or want you to play an activity with him. Its not for much conversation.
Its not a lack of trying either. He looks at me and tries to tell me stuff. So he just started preschool. A conversation we had yesterday went like this "Dinosaur tshirt preschool. Kids. Crackers. Go in grandma car. Jack and jill. Hot dog in the pan-- bam!!!"
So what it should have sounded like was this" I wore my dinosaur shirt to preschool. I played with kids. We went in grandma's car. We ate a snack of crackers. We sang a song about Jack and Jill. We sang a song about hotdogs in a pan."
So... yeah.... he is my little contradiction
auntie-- no he has never seen a dev. pedi
Not a doctor, but what you describe it sounds like his issues are more with communication since he has the ability to use sentences but cant answer a yes/no question. I definitely think its a good idea to get a referral to a developmental pedi. She was definitely helpful in giving us a greater understanding of what the root issues for DDs language delay could be.
Yes, auntie, it confuses me too because he was able to tell me many things before being able to answer questions. He never went through a "No" phase or a "mine" phase but was able to tell me all the letters the week he turned two even though he only said mom, dad, ball, and moo until that day. His memory is amazing, but his skills out pace his ability to understand what you are asking him. Like I said his problem solving skills with spatial stuff is amazing. He figures puzzles out sooo fast and above his age level.
I cringe when we go out because the first thing people ask a kid is "What's your name? What are you doing? What's your favorite______?" He has no answers to these questions because I believe he doesn't understand them yet. I have heard him refer to himself in third person a FEW times and he said the word "I" a couple of times but when I said What did you say? He repeated the sentence without his name. I don't know if he was unsure of what he said and didn't want to get it wrong. He often and by often I mean almost constantly is talking. He will be reading a book and talking to himself. Asking questions I ask and then answering. If he doesn't know what a picture is he will come over to me and say "This??" and I tell him, he smiles and goes back to what he was doing. I hear him talking when he moves his little people around and I try to hear if its imaginary play or not. I really hope it is because I know this is a step to building friendships. He is such a friendly kid, I am not worried about him trying to make friends, I am actually worried that his inability to have conversation in a normal fashion will hold him back.
He started preschool a month ago and I went with him the first day. I could tell that other kids wanted to play with him. He just had little to go with as far as conversation and would just say something that mentioned an object next to them and smile. So far, the kids aren't acting like he's weird but I so badly want him to be able to play with them. He likes the music time because they all sing and dance along with hand/foot motions. This is an activity with a more even playing field.
I can tell that recently he is understanding me more and is able to respond a little better. Some frustrating topics for me are that I can't say"mommmy will be right back ok?" and take a shower because he will freak out when he realizes that I am in the other room and thinks I left him and will just lay on the floor and cry cry cry. Same goes for me saying he can do something later. He doesn't understand that yet and its like living with a much younger child.
The only way I can explain his problems with understanding speech are to compare it with a child that speaks another language. (which I do have experience with since I am a public school teacher). He is smart, there are obvious thoughts going on in his head. The problem lies in communicating. He wants to tell me something, I want to tell him something. The conversation ends up being a handful of nouns, a few verbs and gestures to get the points across.
My brother is an audiologist and he suggested a hearing test and I finally did that at 22 months (I had concerns for my son much earlier than that) He passed. I was then left with the decision of what to do next. I got him into a SLP and she did the eval and he could not do much of anything of the test they do---- give the bear a drink of water, put the block in the box etc. He just appeared to ignore her and look at the objects or try to hand her objects in the room. It was pretty obvious that he didn't understand what she was saying. From then we have worked with her ever since and she had him saying "More crackers" etc. in a few weeks. We absolutely adore her. She helped us find his OT and that's been going really well too.
So he has never been formally diagnosed or given any type of eval other than those.
Auntie, how old was your son when you got his diagnosis then? You mention he flew under the radar for a while since he was doing so well in preschool. What made you decide to have someone evaluate him?
OP, your son sounds a lot like mine (except mine is a sensory seeker, not avoider). The communication issues are really similar. DS has ASD. I second the recommendation that you get an eval with a developmental pediatrician or psychologist, using the ADOS or ADOS-2. It certainly can't hurt to rule ASD in or out. There are often long waitlists to get these evals done, so making an appointment sooner rather than later is definitely a good idea. I wish you were local and our sons could get together for a playdate!