Pregnant after a Loss

How do you keep yourself sane?

I'm new to this board, but was hoping someone who's going through or been through this can share with me how they cope.  I had a missed miscarriage and D&C in July this year, and am now 4 weeks 4 days pregnant again. My OB is monitoring my levels - first blood draw Tuesday showed HCG at 249 and Progesterone at 13.5.  With my miscarriage, my Progesterone was 11.9.  Started oral progesterone supplements yesterday and re-drew today to check for HCG to double. I'm having trouble not thinking worst case scenario, and making myself sick with anxiety.  How have you gotten through this without going crazy?

Re: How do you keep yourself sane?

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  • I just try and keep my mind off it, but I can't help but have anxiety.  I just try and keep busy - work is the worst because I literally have NOTHING to do.  It's bad.  
     
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  • I don't think you do get through this without going at least somewhat crazy. I wish I had some magical answer for you, but I just don't. It's SO hard being PGAL.

    Even with my pregnancy with my son, which turned out to be very uneventful and resulted in a healthy child, I was terrified constantly. I think the fears change a little as you get further on, but it's still there. I just never breathed that sigh of relief until I was holding my son in my arms.

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    BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d

    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

    BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13

     

    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

  • It's definitely hard.  I'm around 6 weeks right now and had mmc in June with a D&C.  I'm trying to just take it one day at a time.  My mind tries to wander to what if's and I just have to tell myself to stop and focus on something else. 

    I just try to focus on what I can.  First it was the beta draws, we got through that.  My next hurdle is the first u/s (next week).  I try not to think beyond that.  It sucks, but it's too hard if I let my mind go where it wants to go.
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  • With my first rainbow, I didn't feel better until I held her in my arms.  I stressed the entire pregnancy.

    Keep busy.  Keep focused.  And try not to think about what ifs.  Focus on what is. 

    Today you are pregnant and you love your baby.

    Huge hugs to you. 

    imagephoto BeachAudrey6-23-2013_zps95b514cd.jpgphoto TRCALBadge_zpse0b3d2cb.jpg
    BFP #1 9-22-10 Missed M/c 10-18-10 D&E 10-28-10

    BFP #2 5-9-11 EDD 1-12-12 Audrey Rachel born 1-12-12

    BFP #3 9-21-13 EDD 5-30-14
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  • Like the PPs, I definitely have my freak-out moments.  There's no way to stay sane all the time with the experiences we've had.

    When I'm doing well though, I try to remember to take things one day at a time.  And remember this is a new pregnancy.  I've also noticed that allowing myself to have those freak-out moments can help them pass instead of obsessing with trying to not freak out.

    This is definitely a tough road, but know we are all here and experiencing similar emotions.  ((hugs))

    BFP #1: EDD 12.28.12 - MC @ 6w3d | BFP #2: EDD 11.15.13 - D&C @ 12w4d
    BFP #3
    Superbaby born 4.5.14 | Just When You Least Expect It...
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  • I don't think you do get through this without going at least somewhat crazy. I wish I had some magical answer for you, but I just don't. It's SO hard being PGAL.

    Even with my pregnancy with my son, which turned out to be very uneventful and resulted in a healthy child, I was terrified constantly. I think the fears change a little as you get further on, but it's still there. I just never breathed that sigh of relief until I was holding my son in my arms.

    ^ This was me exactly.  My first (and only loss so far, knock on wood!), was a first trimester loss, but I there was never once that I planned for when my son actually arrived.  I couldn't live outside the moment, and just focused on loving him as best as possible amid the anxiety.  It took all my energy just to do that. 

    When he was placed on my chest, all I could feel was utter relief, because even during delivery, I feared he was going to die.  PGAL brain is the worst, and I'm sorry there's simply no answer that will take away that anxiety.  I think you can only try to minimize as best as possible, one day at a time =/


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    BFP #1 06.20.11 I EDD 03.22.12 I MMC 09.01.11 (baby measured 6w4d) I D&C 09.07.11
    BFP #2 02.21.12 I EDD 10.29.12 I DS born 11.06.12

    Surprise BFP #3 07.27.13 I EDD 04.02.14 I Stick baby stick!
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  • Thanks everyone for your kind words and sharing - it actually helps just to put these thoughts out there.
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