How do you keep yourself sane?

shiner123 · September 2013

I'm new to this board, but was hoping someone who's going through or been through this can share with me how they cope. I had a missed miscarriage and D&C in July this year, and am now 4 weeks 4 days pregnant again. My OB is monitoring my levels - first blood draw Tuesday showed HCG at 249 and Progesterone at 13.5. With my miscarriage, my Progesterone was 11.9. Started oral progesterone supplements yesterday and re-drew today to check for HCG to double. I'm having trouble not thinking worst case scenario, and making myself sick with anxiety. How have you gotten through this without going crazy?

BootsOrHearts · September 2013

Sanity? What is that? HA!

I don't know, I'm 27 weeks and I still have my freak out moments.

Just try to stay busy to keep your mind off it. Remember there's nothing you can do to help at this point except take your vitamins and try to stay calm.

Kinipela7 · September 2013

I just try and keep my mind off it, but I can't help but have anxiety. I just try and keep busy - work is the worst because I literally have NOTHING to do. It's bad.

ksyknelvr73 · September 2013

I don't think you do get through this without going at least somewhat crazy. I wish I had some magical answer for you, but I just don't. It's SO hard being PGAL.

Even with my pregnancy with my son, which turned out to be very uneventful and resulted in a healthy child, I was terrified constantly. I think the fears change a little as you get further on, but it's still there. I just never breathed that sigh of relief until I was holding my son in my arms.

aforst · September 2013

It's definitely hard. I'm around 6 weeks right now and had mmc in June with a D&C. I'm trying to just take it one day at a time. My mind tries to wander to what if's and I just have to tell myself to stop and focus on something else.

I just try to focus on what I can. First it was the beta draws, we got through that. My next hurdle is the first u/s (next week). I try not to think beyond that. It sucks, but it's too hard if I let my mind go where it wants to go.

Oatoa · September 2013

With my first rainbow, I didn't feel better until I held her in my arms. I stressed the entire pregnancy.

Keep busy. Keep focused. And try not to think about what ifs. Focus on what is.

Today you are pregnant and you love your baby.

Huge hugs to you.

RubiksElf · September 2013

Like the PPs, I definitely have my freak-out moments. There's no way to stay sane all the time with the experiences we've had.

When I'm doing well though, I try to remember to take things one day at a time. And remember this is a new pregnancy. I've also noticed that allowing myself to have those freak-out moments can help them pass instead of obsessing with trying to not freak out.

This is definitely a tough road, but know we are all here and experiencing similar emotions. ((hugs))

Unknown · September 2013

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katigox · September 2013

ksyknelvr73 said:

I don't think you do get through this without going at least somewhat crazy. I wish I had some magical answer for you, but I just don't. It's SO hard being PGAL.

Even with my pregnancy with my son, which turned out to be very uneventful and resulted in a healthy child, I was terrified constantly. I think the fears change a little as you get further on, but it's still there. I just never breathed that sigh of relief until I was holding my son in my arms.

^ This was me exactly. My first (and only loss so far, knock on wood!), was a first trimester loss, but I there was never once that I planned for when my son actually arrived. I couldn't live outside the moment, and just focused on loving him as best as possible amid the anxiety. It took all my energy just to do that.

When he was placed on my chest, all I could feel was utter relief, because even during delivery, I feared he was going to die. PGAL brain is the worst, and I'm sorry there's simply no answer that will take away that anxiety. I think you can only try to minimize as best as possible, one day at a time =/

shiner123 · September 2013

Thanks everyone for your kind words and sharing - it actually helps just to put these thoughts out there.

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