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BD asked me to "babysit" again.

twister22twister22 member
edited October 2013 in Blended Families
Edited since TB sucks & is making this crap into a movie.
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Re: BD asked me to "babysit" again.

  • KTdiditKTdidit member
    WTF is with this guy?! If he isn't in an actual apartment and is still in the garage then I would think DS wouldn't be going over there and this shouldn't be an issue. In that case, let him find someone else to watch his DD. Sorry, but she is not your responbsibility. After all the BS that this guy pulls on you, you are so much nicer than I would EVER be.
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  • JessH1474JessH1474 member
    I would tell him that you will switch weekends with him if he's unable to keep DS, but you will not keep his DD.  You have got to put a stop to this at some point or he's just going to keep over stepping boundaries. I would tell him that you never mind being flexible when it comes to your DS if things come up, but it's inappropriate for him to ask you to watch his daughter.  Man, this dude just doesn't get it!
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  • SueBearSueBear member
    JessH1474 said:
    I would tell him that you will switch weekends with him if he's unable to keep DS, but you will not keep his DD.  You have got to put a stop to this at some point or he's just going to keep over stepping boundaries. I would tell him that you never mind being flexible when it comes to your DS if things come up, but it's inappropriate for him to ask you to watch his daughter.  Man, this dude just doesn't get it!

    This.  Of course, I doubt the "switch" would happen and you would just keep DS for an extra weekend.

    If you have a hard time saying "no," I would start telling him you'll have to check your calendar and get back to him.  Wait at least 1/2 hour, then text him back "sorry, I have plans."  You can offer to swtich with him or something, but at least it will be a start!

    And why would DS be sleeping there overnight if he is in the garage, anywa?

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  • twister22twister22 member
    edited October 2013
    Edited since TB sucks & is making this crap into a movie.
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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    I think you are setting yourself up to be taken advantage of.
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  • SueBearSueBear member
    I have to say, the fact that he is taking over an extra shift at work is a nice surprise. 
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  • twister22twister22 member
    edited October 2013
    Edited since TB sucks & is making this crap into a movie.
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  • twister22twister22 member
    edited October 2013
    Edited since TB sucks & is making this crap into a movie.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Tell the asshat NO. That's it.
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  • twister22twister22 member
    edited October 2013
    wendilea said:
    You're setting yourself up to be taken advantage of, and enabling him to be shitty dad.

    And it may depend on the state, but OT and/or a second job is not included in figuring our CS (with any of the kids) because it's not guaranteed income.
    Edited since TB sucks & is making this crap into a movie.
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  • emme022emme022 member
    So I could be totally off here but is there any chance DD's mom also said no to her sleeping in a garage and this was his "solution"? To say you would be keeping her instead.
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    kaholland4 said:

    WTF is with this guy?! If he isn't in an actual apartment and is still in the garage then I would think DS wouldn't be going over there and this shouldn't be an issue. In that case, let him find someone else to watch his DD. Sorry, but she is not your responbsibility. After all the BS that this guy pulls on you, you are so much nicer than I would EVER be.

    Honestly I'm super pro dad but at this point I would be asking my ex to sign rights for my H to adopt.

    He has SO little common sense I would truly be concerned about leaving him to care for a child. It seems like there is something seriously wrong with him.

    No adult chooses to live in a garage and no sane person asks their ex to hang out with them to care for THEIR child. Bizarre and really poor judgment.
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  • twister22twister22 member
    edited October 2013
    emcmac87 said:
    So I could be totally off here but is there any chance DD's mom also said no to her sleeping in a garage and this was his "solution"? To say you would be keeping her instead.Edited since TB sucks & is making this crap into a movie.
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  • twister22twister22 member
    edited October 2013
    Nineoceans said:
    WTF is with this guy?! If he isn't in an actual apartment and is still in the garage then I would think DS wouldn't be going over there and this shouldn't be an issue. In that case, let him find someone else to watch his DD. Sorry, but she is not your responbsibility. After all the BS that this guy pulls on you, you are so much nicer than I would EVER be.
    Honestly I'm super pro dad but at this point I would be asking my ex to sign rights for my H to adopt. He has SO little common sense I would truly be concerned about leaving him to care for a child. It seems like there is something seriously wrong with him. No adult chooses to live in a garage and no sane person asks their ex to hang out with them to care for THEIR child. Bizarre and really poor judgment.
    Edited since TB sucks & is making this crap into a movie.
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  • EarthandFireEarthandFire member
    My thought on what @nineocens input was that having DH adopt does not mean BD has to disappear. It means that should something happen to you, DH would be responsible for DS on a day to day basis. I can't imagine you're comfortable with the idea of BD having DS every day considering the circumstances you've recently described. A stipulation may even be included in the court order to assure BD you're not taking DS away. Just a thought.
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  • twister22twister22 member
    edited October 2013
    EarthandFire said:
    My thought on what @nineocens input was that having DH adopt does not mean BD has to disappear. It means that should something happen to you, DH would be responsible for DS on a day to day basis. I can't imagine you're comfortable with the idea of BD having DS every day considering the circumstances you've recently described. A stipulation may even be included in the court order to assure BD you're not taking DS away. Just a thought.
    Edited since TB sucks & is making this crap into a movie.
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