Sleep Help
SarahBBowers
member
Hello all,
I have an 8 month old, ebf, will not take a pacifier. We co-sleep most of the night, but she starts off sleeping (strapped in) in her rock n play. We have a bedtime routine: we play for a bit when I get home from work, then we do bath, and then nurse to sleep. Lately, she nurses for a bit and then pops off, rolls over, and gets up on all 4s like shes going to crawl. So I lay her back down and the same process....over and over and over and over.....It seems like after an hour or longer she will finally fall asleep enough that I can get her in her rock n play. Then she will be asleep for 45 minutes and then wake up screaming until she gets the boob. I try sending my husband up but she will scream and cry so hard until I come up. It is obnoxious, and I seriously am at my wit's end. She nurses me all night long. I am exhausted and stressed. I work full-time and I am getting very overwhelmed. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Re: Sleep Help
Maybe after her bath, you could turn out all the lights, draw the curtains, and make it as dark and sleepy an environment as possible, so that she's less likely to want to move around and play. Other than that, being consistent about laying her back down when she sits up so that she can fall asleep will help.
What time are you putting her to bed? It could be that she's not ready for bed yet, or even that she was tired earlier but because she stayed up, she's overtired and can't easily unwind. You could try adjusting her bedtime in whatever direction seems best to see if that helps.
As for needing mommy when she wakes, there's nothing more comforting than the breast, and she may be growing and hungry, or teething, in which case nursing would be very comforting and soothing. What you're doing now (sending DH first to confirm that it's actually mommy she needs and not just either parent, and going to her if it's you she needs) is a gentle, loving and respectful way to care for her. Good work, mama!
Bedtime is 8:00. I get home from work around 6:30. Some nights my hubby doesn't get home until 7:45 so thats why bedtime is 8:00 so he can see her before bedtime. She usually takes 3 naps during the day and we all get up at 8:30.
I don't think shes teething right now. She was a couple weeks ago, and now has 2 bottom teeth.
She is watched by my mom on Monday and my husband's mom on Tuesdays and Fridays. I have Wednesdays off, and my husband has Thursdays off. She generally takes 3 naps during the day, but I guess it is not necessarily on a strict schedule due to different caregivers...could that be the issue? She usually wakes up from her last nap around 5.
She does show lots of tired signs around bedtime...getting fussy, rubbing eyes, yawning, etc. so I'm not sure if I should put her to bed earlier or not....I'm kind of afraid to because I also don't want her to wake up earlier!
I am just so stressed and overwhelmed (crying as we speak). Right now LO is up because she would not go back to sleep and I wasn't ready to go to bed as I haven't had 10 minutes to myself all night so she is on the cough with me and hubby, which I'm sure is not helping. I am just scared this is not going to get better. I can't do this every night.
Thanks for listening
She doesn't need to be on a strict schedule to get the sleep she needs. As long as all of LO's caregivers pay attention to her cues so that she has naps when she needs them, that's perfect. They may find that she naps naturally around the same time every day.
It sounds like you could use some time for yourself or for you and DH. Would a break every now and then make even the rough bedtimes easier? If your mom is free on a weekend day, maybe she could watch LO for you and DH while you go on a lunch date (or whatever time of day is easiest for you and LO, my DS only does well for sitters during the day...needs mama at night). And maybe DH could keep LO for an hour or two every so often while you do something just for you. A long walk, a pedicure, or shopping hands-free!
This parenting stuff is hard and can definitely become overwhelming, especially during restless/wakeful phases. Remember to take time for yourself.
Even if that recommendation is completely irrelevant and/or unhelpful, do take comfort in that this is likely a short phase. Create that sleepy environment, and hopefully LO will learn that nighttime is for sleep. Hang in there, mama!
Do you think it's time to transition to the crib?
Thanks!
More Green For Less Green
Hang in there. They go through phases and once you think you got it figured it out, they change things up.
I did have a couple of thoughts. . . but feel free to disregard them if you don't like them / think they apply.
1. Try moving the bedtime earlier or later and see if that helps.
2. Is it possible that she no longer needs 3 naps and perhaps could go down to 2?
3. I think it's a good idea to send in H first. We do that too- sometimes LO is happy with H and if not H brings him too me or I go in. I feel like that way LO learns that both daddy and mommy will respond to his night-time needs- whatever they may be.
This!
You have some great responses here. I will also add that it would probably be best to drop the later nap and make bedtime earlier. I read somewhere (can't remember where, but one of the sleep books) that babies do best when put down to bed for the night between 6:30 and 7:30pm, and that if they stay awake, they actually get a second wind around 8pm or so that makes it harder for them to settle. I have noticed that when I get dd to bed later, it is harder sometimes. You might want to try slowly pushing it earlier to see if that helps. Dd goes down between 7 and 7:30pm and wakes at 7am.
Also, yes, getting out of the RNP is pretty important at this point as it just isn't safe anymore. We tried to go from the RNP to the crib, but I couldn't get dd to settle well, but she did fall asleep in my bed while nursing, so we have been bed sharing and that's been working well for us for now. I do want to get her in the crib at some point, but I take it day by day now.
When I nurse dd to bed, we have a ritual where she nurses on one side with the light on while I sing. She used to just nurse then but now just rolls everywhere and plays. I then turn the lights out (and it's very dark), turn her musical seahorse on, and nurse on the other side. That's when she gets 'serious' and actually settles. Anyhow, it might also help to reassess the environment and make sure it is calm, dark and that there aren't any distractions so she knows it's bedtime.
Some days dd sleeps for 4 hours before waking to nurse and others she seems to every hour until I'm in bed with her, after which she just keeps the boob in the mouth (but we both sleep well). Hang in there!
st. augbride,
What do you do until you go to bed? I nurse my girl to sleep in our bed and then transfer to RNP (I know, we need to stop this). I don't want to leave her in our bed for fear she will wake up and crawl or roll off of it. I tried the pack n play but she wasn't having that! Then when we go to bed I move her into bed with us when she first wakes.
I have a guard rail up on my side and she sleeps in between me and the guard rail. I then have a video monitor set in such a way that I can see her perfectly. I keep it plugged in all evening and on so I can watch her every move. She doesn't really move too far, but if she scoots in a way I don't like or places her face down into the mattress, I go in an gently reposition her (she doesn't wake when I do this). If I couldn't watch her I wouldn't feel safe leaving her, but the video monitor is awesome and waaaay worth the investment.
I will also add that she sleeps in a sleep sack on a fitted sheet only. dh and I have separate light blankets that we keep wrapped around us separately so that there is no loose bedding. I also use one pillow that I keep rolled away from dd. So in her space, it replicates a crib basically. We have a king sized bed which helps.