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Intro & Question about Court Decisions

alb2411alb2411 member
in Blended Families
Hello all! I've been a lurking around this board since the beginning of the year and wanted to finally intro and get some advice from you ladies who seem to have been through it all. I don't know about BM's internet activity, so forgive me for being a bit vague, but I don't want to complicate my BF situation more than it already is. Hopefully with time I will be more comfortable and can open up a bit.

I married my DH earlier this year, making me not only a new wife, but SM to his 5-year-old son. Two months before our wedding BM decided to file for primary physical custody. DH and BM were never married and did not have an official CO, but were operating under a notarized agreement that my DH had a lawyer draw up when he discovered BM would be moving out of the state after she ended their relationship. Very long detailed story short, we went to court as our distance apart (and their lack of ability to communicate) did not make mediation a possibility. At the end of court, the judge stated that he would send a decision to our lawyers soon. Ten weeks later and neither party has heard anything from the judge. 

Is this length of time to reach a decision typical? Our lawyer spoke to him privately after court and he gave her an estimate of two weeks, which we have obviously long passed. Neither lawyer wants to contact him to ask about our case, which I guess I understand, but we're starting to feel like he forgot about us. Just wondering if anyone has had to deal with being in custody limbo this long, and if so, did you or your lawyer do anything to speed the process along or do we just keep waiting it out?

Thanks!
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Re: Intro & Question about Court Decisions

  • SigirSigir member
    Why does neither lawyer want to contact the judge? Seems odd to me. I would ask them why, and then press them l contact the judge. It's their job.
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  • alb2411alb2411 member
    edited September 2013
    I think the concern when we spoke to our lawyer a few weeks ago was that she didn't want our side to seem impatient or like we were pressuring him. My DH and I have never dealt with a situation like this before, so we just went along with her, but now I'm thinking if we are the ones to politely remind him of our case it may even show a bit more how invested we are...does that sound logical? 
    I should have put this in my original post, but SS started kindergarten and has been living with us since the court date in order to do so. Do you think that if the judgement were to go in BM's favor at this point that we could appeal based on this? This is just something I've been thinking about but haven't mentioned to my DH yet. I know our lawyer could answer this better, but just wanted to see if anyone has experience in this area too.
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  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    It took 6 months, almost 7 to hear about his divorce settlement. Granted that wasn't custody, but still completely ridiculous. I would give it a few more weeks and then have your lawyer reach out to the judges clerk. It may have gotten lost in the shuffle
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  • cole2144cole2144 member
    I know how you feel. We are still waiting for our new child support number from our modification hearing which was the first week of June.
    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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