Advice needed: Coworkers making fun of me online

EgoCommaAlter · September 2013

How would you confront something like this? I'm fairly new (less than 1 year) at a great company, where I thought I was well-liked. Today it was brought to my attention that several of my coworkers, one senior to me, have been making fun of me on social media platforms. It's nothing too terrible, but more like 13 year old girl stuff - I'm not funny, I can't draw, I'm annoying, nobody likes me, the color of paint on a certain wall (they're claiming I chose it) is ugly, people who are nice to me are being fake, etc - but it's very hurtful because it's more than one person. It was obviously directed at me; some of my colleagues saw it and were remarking on it.

One of them is senior to me though not my supervisor, we have to work together pretty closely and he is good friends with my kids' pediatrician. He was so nasty to me today when I asked him about it that I was mortified and this close to crying; we left it that he didn't tell me when some meetings are tomorrow that I have to be at (hasn't invited me in fact). The others, are junior to me but not in my department; I've never worked directly with them or exchanged more than half a dozen words total.

My supervisor just had a death in his family and I don't want to approach him with this crap.

How would you handle this? I don't even want to go in to work tomorrow, or ever again.

groovygrl · September 2013

???!!! I would go to someone in HR that you trust, ASAP.
I'm confused about the guy you confronted, what did he say to you exactly? Withholding meeting times is beyond bizarre on top of all the rest.
I would try to document everything you've been told or seen (obviously if you're able to access/view any of it you should print it out ASAP in case it gets deleted) and also these interactions w/ the coworker re the meetings, trying to be as objective in writing it all down as you can.

Good luck & so sorry this is happening to you

FemShep · September 2013

How terrible. Your coworkers behavior is utterly ridiculous, and shouldn't be tolerated. Agree with PP, document everything, with screen shots, ASAP. Write down what happened when you spoke with your colleague. Then speak to your supervisor and HR. Because your colleague withheld information important to your job, he escalated the situation. While I understand not wanting to bother your supervisor right now, if someone was bullying one of my reports in the office and then withheld information she needed to do her job when asked about it, I'd want to be told immediately. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

EastCoastBride · September 2013

Yes, document immediately. And talk to your boss AND hr. Immediately.

LoCarb · September 2013

((Hugs)) bullying in the workplace should not be tolerated. Document and bring this to the attn of your sup and HR.

financialdiva · September 2013

This is so awful. I am so sorry you are going through this. Hopefully your supervisor is someone you can trust to take care of it and not feed into this nonsense.

Try not to get too emotional about it when you speak to your sup or whom ever. I know, easier said then done. State the facts, tell your sup how its now interfering with your work, how you have tried to fix the situation yourself but was retaliated against and missed a meeting bc of this.

Best of luck to you and please keep us posted. Hugs!

shannm · September 2013

If you don't want to go to your supervisor, go to hr. today. Most companies don't tolerate this at all.

skyejo · September 2013

Wow, just wow. Completely unacceptable behavior on the part of your coworkers. I agree with the other ladies--talk to your supervisor and/or HR immediately. Stay calm, state the facts, and don't approach your colleauges. GL.

mae0111 · September 2013

I'm so sorry. Ditto the PPs - definitely go to HR. I also think you should talk to your boss. I would certainly want to know if this was happening with any of my staff, regardless of what was happening with me personally.

michaelaskedlauren · September 2013

I fully agree with PP. Document everything and go to HR straight away. I would even mention how that one of the guys who is involved that you spoke with was unnecessarily nasty to you.

I am pissed and hurt for you. Good luck!

MommyDay2be · September 2013

wow that is unbelievable! definitely go to HR, this isn't something anyone should be subjected to in the work place! And obviously these douchebags aren't very smart anyway to be doing it on the INTERNET! get as much documentation as you can.I know it sucks to be "the rat" and possibly get someone fired, but that behavior is unacceptable!

PunkyBooster · September 2013

As an HR manager, I am appalled by this. Appalled

Mustardseed2007 · September 2013

print out the stuff right now (before they take it down) and bring it to HR. In my company we do have rules against this. Companies have to be careful b/c of "free speech" but it doesn't extend to demeaning employees that aren't your supervisor (if you are their supervisor, it could be complaining about workplace conditions, in which case it COULD be protected speech). The rules are a little confusing but really in some ways very simple b/c really they should NOT being do that.

preggersin2011 · September 2013

Are they doing this during company time? On a company provided electronic device?

Netty_3 · September 2013

I am so sorry about this...apparently some bullies never grow up. I have no new advice than what's already been expressed here...but hold your head high tomorrow. They're the ones that should be ashamed. I would just address them for professional reasons and in that manner...and leave it at that.

PseudoMama · September 2013

This is harassment. Take screen prints of everything you've found online or print it out and keep copies. Take notes of the conversation you had.

rubber_chicken · September 2013

screenshot screenshot screenshot! this is bullsh*t and you need to go to HR right away. ESPECIALLY since they're leaving you out of important meetings - their bullying is preventing you from doing work, and creating a hostile work environment.

rubber_chicken · September 2013

also, please let us know what happens!

Mustardseed2007 · September 2013

I'd love to hear and update too, the whole thing is such BS and no one should have to deal with something like that.

DiaMT · September 2013

Wow! That is awful! I was bullied at work when I first started my career only it was by my boss. She use to talk about me on speaker phone with another employee (my office was right next to hers) and it was a horribly toxic work environment. I didn't have the confidence at the time to go to HR when it started but instead I asked her why she was speaking so negatively of me and putting me down instead of mentoring me like a manager should be doing. She ended up putting me on a performance plan and tried to get me fired. Turns out though, other people were having problems with her as well and we all went to HR and filed a formal complaint. She ended up quitting (or getting fired......I'm still not sure which) and I am working for the same company 10 years later. So as pp said, document, go to HR and keep your chin up! Oh, and keep us posted. GL!

Advice needed: Coworkers making fun of me online

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