I was thrilled beyond words about my VBAC a year ago, it was the best and most fantastic day of my life. But as I sat down and wrote a letter to my son for his first birthday, I am feeling really guilty about my feelings about his birth vs his older sister's. I was so traumatized by the c-section and so emotionally wrecked, I know you all can understand, that even though I love her to death and it was so wonderful to have her, it's hard to look at that day as one filled with joy as I compare it to my VBAC. Obviously, I don't have to discuss it with her now, but I feel bad about the feelings I have about her actual birth and the depression that followed when compared to how I felt about my VBAC and the time that followed. Of course, there was overwhelming joy when I first finally held her, and I loved her instantly and everything that goes along with a new baby. I don't really know what I am asking, anyone else feel the same? How do you reconcile those feelings?