why are we brain washed

mlandwehr · September 2013

Us breastfeeding moms think that we fail if our baby has to get something other then us. Now I am all for formula feeding your child, and everyone needs to do what is best for their family. I honestly didn't know people still breastfed till a little before I was pregnant lol. Well today at DS 4 month check up, he only weighed 12lb. Dr is offering other options. But I have chose to add cereal into his diet and I feel like I failed. Why do we think like this? Hoping no one else feels like this, I know we are just doing the best for our LOs.

TundraGirl · September 2013

This post really bothers me. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, but I disagree with your assumption that "us breastfeeding moms" feel like failures if we supplement with formula/rice cereal. That generalization really hits me the wrong way. My son is primarily breastfed, but we've supplemented with formula when necessary. I don't feel like a failure. I feel like I'm providing my son with the best nutrition I can offer. That is a success in my book.

Schell2013 · September 2013

I had to supplement in the beginning and in some ways I was sad my body wasn't cooperating but in another way it made me more determined to EBF, and I did it. I never felt as tho I "failed" as more I had a small bump to go over. As long as your baby is growing and healthy I don't think it matters if you can't EBF, any amount of BM they get is good.

jesselayne8 · September 2013

You don't have to supplement if your child is growing. Not every child can be 75th %tile. My daughter was 12lb at 4 months and I was never told to supplement. If you do end up supplementing it is not a failure.

mlandwehr · September 2013

Tundragirl, I am so glad you feel that way. I don't know if I used the right word when I said failure, it is a little strong

mlandwehr · September 2013

Scr789 only 12lb for him was a big drop that is why is was concerning. If he was always a. Thinner baby we would 've been ok with that

surpriseaddition · September 2013

Adding in cereal at 4 months isn't a reflection of you failing at BF. At some point, whether 4 or 6 months or somewhere in between, you will need to start adding in solid foods. You should feel happy with your feeding decision no matter what you decide. You've worked hard to EBF but at some point they'll add in things other than BM. I nursed my older two to a year for one and longer for the other....but at some time you will wean. Adding in solid foods now isn't something to sweat about.

LaxMOM44 · September 2013

I don't see why there is so much hullabaloo about what you are feeding your baby. My job as a mother is to love, feed and protect and F it I am damn good at all three. We BF, FF in the car or if I haven't pumped enough to get through my time away and we started solids at 4 months because she seemed really interested. I am a damn good mother no matter what I feed my child because my job is to feed her not to obsess about what she is eating. I realize there are exceptions such as don't feed you child chocolate or peanuts or alcohol, I'm talking about normal options for baby food.

I've been watching the second season of the walking dead and there's a baby with no mom so they are risking their lives to get formula and it made me think that what is really important isn't the what but the fact that you do whatever you can to make sure your baby is well nourished. And that's how I work The walking dead into every conversation.

emmy236 · September 2013

Laxminavkar- loooove the Walking Dead! I definitely understand where OP is coming from. I had an awful time in the beginning with DS being tongue tied. He couldn't latch well and my milk barely came in and it took me weeks of constantly being hooked up to the pump and countless LC appointments to get to the point where he's EBF but I had to supplement in the beginning with formula and I definitely felt completely bullied by other moms I knew who didn't have the problems I had or women without kids who thought BFing was easy and I was just being lazy. R is 4 months and we just started oatmeal and I got a few reminders that it's now 6 months but I don't care. My baby eats milestones for breakfast so cereal is ok. I just remind them that R can roll over both ways , is a supported sitter and mastered spoon eating in 3 days.

flyliceandcoffee · September 2013

sct728 said:

My LO "only" weighed 12 lbs today at her 4-month check up. The doctor was pleased and absolutely said to keep BF without solids. Her weight gain has been slow but I In no way feel like I failed because she's on the thinner side.

Mine "only" weighed 11 lbs at her 4month and she was actually 4.5 months old. We've been supplementing S since she was 2 weeks old, and sure, I felt sad that I had to supplement when we first started, but now, I'm more proud of the fact that I can still produce half of what she eats a day. I have absolutely no problems with supplementing nor do I feel like a failure. We do what we can, and I know for my LO getting supplemental formula is the best thing I can do for her.

LaxMOM44 · September 2013

telicious2 · September 2013

LO's pedi didn't like his weight either at his 4 month appt (19 weeks). He said to give cereal 2x a day. We tried a couple times but I felt he wasn't ready so I stopped. Then a week later we went for a weigh in and he gained 0 lbs!! We even gave him 5-5.5 oz of BM. Now the Dr said to give him a midnight feeding bc LO sleeping 12 hrs is a long time to go without food. We have another weigh in this Friday.

As long as LO is happy and content don't feel like you have failed.

Ana0927 · September 2013

My DD weighed 11 lbs at her 4 month appoinment. My pedi said to up the amount of milk we give her. I can only pump around 16oz of milk a day so I now bring and extra 4oz bottle of formula to daycare with her and I also started her on solids. I don't feel like a failure and niether should you. We all do our best to keep our LOs happy and healthy and that is what matters most.

Lolalipsy · September 2013

When my milk supply runs low I feel like my body is failing me. However, I never feel like i've failed my LO. I just use from my stash and I have formula at hand if need be. It's all the scaremongering of breast is best that makes women feel inadequate when they can't or experience difficulties or even if they choose not to BF.

FmrAFBrat · September 2013

My LO only weighed 13.1 pounds at his 4 month but he was also 27 inches long. So he's 10% in weight and 85% in length. He's been on the thinner side since the start so my pedi said as long as he's gaining weight normally there's no reason to worry, so I plan to continue to BF him.

Schell2013 · September 2013

smpeachey said:
E was born at 35 weeks and developed jaundice he was also losing weight too fast. Long story short we supplemented with formula for two days while my milk came in. A friend came to visit in the hospital and told me I should have refused the formula and basically made me feel bad for weeks. I realized after the hormones settled that we did what was best for him and that people can judge me if they want but they weren't in my shoes. At the time I didn't have the luxury if feeling sorry for myself and at the end of the day I wouldn't change my decision. The only thing I would change is letting her make me feel bad. She didn't intend to but I think as mothers we could do a lot less judging of ourselves and others for making the best decisions we can for our babies.

This was my exact situation too. After my milk came in it was only a week and I didn't need any anymore.

pnutg · September 2013

People constantly voicing feelings of failure about needing to supplement is part of the reason I suffered through breastfeeding as long as I did. As in, I cried in pain for 11 weeks. OP, just be thankful you CAN breastfeed and a lot of babies are starting cereal right now. With or without weight issues.

TheyCalledHerKate · September 2013

My baby was supplemented with formula her fist couple of months because she was not gaining appropriately. Now she only gets breastmilk (I EP). I do not feel bad about it at all.

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