Does your baby have a name?

nkemery · September 2013

I lost my baby to a blighted ovum.

I found out at 10 weeks. I never learned the sex, but to me, for weeks prior to that, she was a girl.
I felt it, I had dreams about it.

I didn't do it initially, but recently I've started calling her (to myself) Lily. We were planning on that name if we had a girl, and as far as I'm concerned, we did.

I feel silly though, but it just feels right. My baby is gone. But she was a little girl who lived in my heart. Her name was Lily.

I know lots of women lose their babies after finding out the sex, but I didn't have the opportunity to learn. I also know that it's commonplace for those women to have given their child a name and to use it, but for someone like me, it seems a little less commonplace.

Is it just me, or have you, after losing a baby you didn't know, name and care for your little girl or boy?

flmomof4 · September 2013

I just "knew" we were having boys all along. We did chromosomal testing and found out it was in fact a boy. We only ever saw 1 heartbeat but there were 2 empty sacs. We named our little boy Gabriel. He had 2 brothers, but we haven't named them. We didn't use our top names since we hope to use them in the future. We both always loved Gabriel though and just didn't think we'd have enough boys to use it. Now we do.

MrsRusty14 · September 2013

I don't think you need to know the sex of a baby to give it a name. And if you "knew" what you were having, give the name you want.

Our baby's name is Gabriel Charlie. At the time we gave the name and had the burial, our pathology results were not back and we did not know. We pick Gabriel after the angel, and thought it could go both ways (Gabe versus Gab). For Charlie, I had wanted to name our little girl Charlotte and call her Charlie. So it would work for a girl and a boy. I never had any strong feeling on what we were having. It helped to refer to our loss by using the name, it made it more real. Now we know we had a little girl, and I still love the name we picked for her.

dajhughes · September 2013

I call my sweet baby Ella. She is laid to rest in a special place and I call it Ella's place. I say whatever brings you comfort is what is right. Peace for you and Gabriel. A beautiful name by the way.

MaybeBabyMama · September 2013

I call the baby Marley. I don't know if the baby was a boy or a girl but in my heart it just felt like that was the baby's name. I shared how I was feeling with my husband and he has been so sweet and happy to have a name for the baby also.

nkemery · September 2013

Thank you so much.

Going through this for the first (and hopefully only) time, there's a lot of little things that I do and sometimes stop and think "Wait, is this normal? What am I doing!?" But you ladies have been great and I'm realizing that there's no right way to go about this.
Little steps, day by day.

JoyfulW&M · September 2013

I lost my boy at 11w4d to a blighted ovum. I knew from the BFP that it was a boy. I named him Samuel.
I've told a few close friends but not really interested in explaining it to everyone.

giraffe2112 · September 2013

I didn't have a feeling about the gender so we chose Dakota so it could be for a boy or a girl.

squeakyfrog15 · September 2013

We didn't find out the gender, but went with Taylor. I kind of feel like it was a girl, and may refer to her as such. Either way I think a name is special, and it has helped us. Not everyone will want to do that and its okay! Chances are we all are doing things and wondering if its normal. I bet it is! So sorry for your loss!

arob1998 · September 2013

My DH and I had batted back and forth some first names and then realized how silly some of them sound with our last name and started giggling. This was also prompted by my mother getting upset when I jokingly referred to "the critter." After the loss, which was awful, and I still am getting over, since we didn't know boy or girl, I combined the the girl and boy name and it made an entirely new fantastical name. This name has become very special to me and a powerful part of feeling whole again. I don't think we will ever tell anyone the name...it's too personal...or maybe one day if we are so blessed it will make an unusual middle name. It's normal to grieve in whatever way feels right for you. Bless you all.

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