Since we like to discuss food...

bumpuser8448316 · September 2013

DS's teacher gave every kid a b,ow pop on their way out today. I seemed to be the only parent side eyeing giving a bubble gum lollipop to 3 year olds.

Mrs.Hizzo · September 2013

I side-eyed it with my oldest, his first year. Now I'm a few years in and I just sigh.

ToastieSimons · September 2013

a lollipop, i would still give a side eye. it's rewarding them with food for school.

a bubble-gum lollipop? bubblegum is one of the biggest choking hazards.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2013

Normally they get a sticker on the way out. I'm cool with stickers. If they start giving out candy every day I'm going to turn into "that mom"

AimeeL85 · September 2013

Hav=Fath said:

Hadley gets a ring pop or dumb dumb each time on the way out of preschool, I hate it! Luckily though she's so tired afterwards she wil suck on it for a few minutes and want to trade it for her pacifier.

Our preschool does this too, I wouldn't have thought it was common! I don't feel like it's a very safe thing for a 2 year old to have since they're small and round and DS bites it. What I really don't like is that they give it to them and tell them they can open it right before they dismiss them, so it's a sticky, slobbery mess when we get to the car and then I'm taking it away because I don't want it eaten in the car, and cleaning him up with wipes because he's super sticky.

They are putting a comment/suggestion box out next week and I'm going to put something about it...probably won't say not to give them, but definitely "please tell them to wait to open it until mom says it's ok."

AimeeL85 · September 2013

LalaMama81 said:

I'd absolutely be complaining about a daily lollipop. Maybe a sticker, but even daily that seems like overkill. It's a few hours of preschool, it's not so taxing that they NEED a reward every day like clockwork.

I don't like it either, even if it's only 2 days a week. I was afraid of being "that mom" but it's anonymous so it shouldn't be a big deal. How do I word it nicely to tell them to cut it out?

Mrs.Hizzo · September 2013

AimeeL85 said:

LalaMama81 said:

I'd absolutely be complaining about a daily lollipop. Maybe a sticker, but even daily that seems like overkill. It's a few hours of preschool, it's not so taxing that they NEED a reward every day like clockwork.

I don't like it either, even if it's only 2 days a week. I was afraid of being "that mom" but it's anonymous so it shouldn't be a big deal. How do I word it nicely to tell them to cut it out?

"We're so happy to be a part of the school and really appreciate the care and attention you give to our child! I do notice that my child often comes home with sweets, and while I appreciate that teachers like to give treats, maybe stickers would be more appropriate? We are trying to limit sugar and I worry that the suckers might be a choking hazard."

bumpuser8448316 · September 2013

I'd absolutely be complaining about a daily lollipop. Maybe a sticker, but even daily that seems like overkill. It's a few hours of preschool, it's not so taxing that they NEED a reward every day like clockwork.

They have to earn it. And if you read my post the other day about DS, getting that sticker at the end of the day is a big deal. He lives for the daily sticker.

AimeeL85 · September 2013

LalaMama81 said:

AimeeL85 said:

LalaMama81 said:

I'd absolutely be complaining about a daily lollipop. Maybe a sticker, but even daily that seems like overkill. It's a few hours of preschool, it's not so taxing that they NEED a reward every day like clockwork.

I don't like it either, even if it's only 2 days a week. I was afraid of being "that mom" but it's anonymous so it shouldn't be a big deal. How do I word it nicely to tell them to cut it out?

See, I don't think filling out an anonymous card like that will get you the same response as owning it and just asking the teacher and director.

I'd probably say something like, "You know, I'm really surprised that you hand out lollipops every day, that's not what I expected at all. I'm sure you want to reward the kids for a good day, is there a non-food reward we can try?" and at least see where that takes you. If the teacher is adamant, I'd talk to the director. It's crappy junk that they don't need their teacher condoning daily.

You're right, I should. I guess just having worked at a preschool for years and always hearing the teachers gripe about certain parents, I didn't want to be one of them...but you're definitely right. Luckily the director there is very, very open to the parents wishes so hopefully either way would be effective. I've seen other moms make the kids throw them out as soon as they come out of the classroom, too.

Sorry QueSyrah, I didn't mean to take over your thread lol

AimeeL85 · September 2013

Mrs.Hizzo said:

AimeeL85 said:

LalaMama81 said:

I'd absolutely be complaining about a daily lollipop. Maybe a sticker, but even daily that seems like overkill. It's a few hours of preschool, it's not so taxing that they NEED a reward every day like clockwork.

I don't like it either, even if it's only 2 days a week. I was afraid of being "that mom" but it's anonymous so it shouldn't be a big deal. How do I word it nicely to tell them to cut it out?

"We're so happy to be a part of the school and really appreciate the care and attention you give to our child! I do notice that my child often comes home with sweets, and while I appreciate that teachers like to give treats, maybe stickers would be more appropriate? We are trying to limit sugar and I worry that the suckers might be a choking hazard."

Thanks

pitterpatter129 · September 2013

Um, I totally wouldn't care if they gave my kid a lollipop two days a week. Especially if it were those smaller dum-dum pops. I actually use them as, um, positive behavior motivators, in my classroom often. They work like magic and I don't think a tiny bit of sugar and dye will ruin my kid for life. The gum inside it is another story though. I know a LOT of three year olds who chew gum, but mine isn't one of them. I know he'd just eat/swallow the gum part. If he could actually chew it, I wouldn't mind.

AimeeL85 · September 2013

pitterpatter129 said:

Um, I totally wouldn't care if they gave my kid a lollipop two days a week. Especially if it were those smaller dum-dum pops. I actually use them as, um, positive behavior motivators, in my classroom often. They work like magic and I don't think a tiny bit of sugar and dye will ruin my kid for life. The gum inside it is another story though. I know a LOT of three year olds who chew gum, but mine isn't one of them. I know he'd just eat/swallow the gum part. If he could actually chew it, I wouldn't mind.

That's what they give at DS' school, the dum-dums. I'm not worried about the small amount of sugar and dye twice a week, but I am worried that my 2 year old trying to bite a small, hard, round candy off a stick (because he does).

bumpuser8448316 · September 2013

LalaMama81 said:

I'd absolutely be complaining about a daily lollipop. Maybe a sticker, but even daily that seems like overkill. It's a few hours of preschool, it's not so taxing that they NEED a reward every day like clockwork.
They have to earn it. And if you read my post the other day about DS, getting that sticker at the end of the day is a big deal. He lives for the daily sticker.
I missed that part. I guess if you are conditioned to expect it, you'd look forward to it. None of dd's teachers have ever done it anywhere near regularly.

Bad wording. I meant that with all the wild 3 year old boy behavior, earning that sticker is a huge motivator. I hadn't mentioned it before.

Minipenguin · September 2013

I am going to be the grumpy old person grumbling that kids don't need a sugary reward every time they turn around.

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2013

pitterpatter129 said:

Um, I totally wouldn't care if they gave my kid a lollipop two days a week. Especially if it were those smaller dum-dum pops. I actually use them as, um, positive behavior motivators, in my classroom often. They work like magic and I don't think a tiny bit of sugar and dye will ruin my kid for life. The gum inside it is another story though. I know a LOT of three year olds who chew gum, but mine isn't one of them. I know he'd just eat/swallow the gum part. If he could actually chew it, I wouldn't mind.

I wouldn't mind it if it were a once in a blue moon reward for something. Yes, a little sugar and dye never killed anyone but it adds up when this is occurring often especially since the child likely has other people in their lives that reward them with sweets as well. I don't know--my preschool rewards with stickers and not just for showing up everyday. The child has to do something above and beyond to get one. I agree with that more in theory than rewarding every little thing.

lexusolsen · September 2013

Candy is way cheaper and I bet the teacher pays for it herself. I bet the treats stop all together if you complain. I agree that it isn't the best choice. But I teach high school kids and have tried giving out lots of things as rewards. Stickers and candy still work with high schoolers but pencils and highlighters do not. Maybe instead of just complaining you can buy a bunch of whatever you think would be an appropriate reward and offer it as something to replace a few days of lollipops.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

DD used to get one smartie if she was good in PE at preschool and DS got one candy corn if he was quiet during nap time I was okay with both.

penguingrrl · September 2013

I wouldn't be happy about a lollipop at the end of every school day either. And I don't let my 6 year old have gum yet, forget a 3 y/o. It's a sticky mess that serves no purpose (I don't chew gum either, yuck!).

I understand that some kids need a reward for good behavior, but why must it be food? Stickers are just as cheap and pointless as gum but kids love them.

I would be "that parent" and speak up about that.

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2013

Andrewsgal said:

DD used to get one smartie if she was good in PE at preschool and DS got one candy corn if he was quiet during nap time I was okay with both.

If my kids teachers had to bribe them with candy to get them to meet very basic expectations of behavior, I would be finding a new school.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

KC_13 said:

Andrewsgal said:

DD used to get one smartie if she was good in PE at preschool and DS got one candy corn if he was quiet during nap time I was okay with both.

If my kids teachers had to bribe them with candy to get them to meet very basic expectations of behavior, I would be finding a new school.

Give me a fucking break KC 1.5 hours is a lot of time for a three year old who doesn't nap to be quiet. One candy corn to get home to stay quiet did not ruin him. And shockingly the kid who got one smartie in PE well her teacher just called yesterday to say she was the best behaved and most polite kid in her class. That preschool sure ruined her. She earns hoot loot in her first grade classroom should I tell her teacher this is wrong too? Then again I am a behaviorist so I believe in small tangible rewards for expected behavior and shockingly all the research backs it up. Edited to add. In conclusion my first grader is reading on a third grade level and extremely well behaved, and my prek kid (who switched preschools this year) is reading and also well behaved. That horrible preschool did something right. One smartie a day and all.

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2013

Andrewsgal said:

KC_13 said:

Andrewsgal said:

DD used to get one smartie if she was good in PE at preschool and DS got one candy corn if he was quiet during nap time I was okay with both.

If my kids teachers had to bribe them with candy to get them to meet very basic expectations of behavior, I would be finding a new school.

Give me a fucking break KC 1.5 hours is a lot of time for a three year old who doesn't nap to be quiet. One candy corn to get home to stay quiet did not ruin him. And shockingly the kid who got one smartie in PE well her teacher just called yesterday to say she was the best behaved and most polite kid in her class. That preschool sure ruined her. She earns hoot loot in her first grade classroom should I tell her teacher this is wrong too? Then again I am a behaviorist so I believe in small tangible rewards for expected behavior and shockingly all the research backs it up. Edited to add. In conclusion my first grader is reading on a third grade level and extremely well behaved, and my prek kid (who switched preschools this year) is reading and also well behaved. That horrible preschool did something right. One smartie a day and all.

For someone who got all holier than thou over giving an underweight kid a cup of apple juice because it started down a bad path, how is daily candy for doing what they should be doing regardless any better? Your kids successes in school dont negate the fact there's something wrong in rewarding a kid with junk food daily to teach appropriate behavior. Small rewards for expected behavior might be appropriate for special needs kids but is unnecessary for typically developing ones. You can also offer incentives that aren't junk food.

dizzycooks · September 2013

Hav=Fath said:

Hadley gets a ring pop or dumb dumb each time on the way out of preschool, I hate it! Luckily though she's so tired afterwards she wil suck on it for a few minutes and want to trade it for her pacifier.

Each time? I would have a big problem with that. Wow!

Andrewsgal · September 2013

Eh there is zero difference between a sticker and one freaking candy corn. Shockingly my child does not expect a candy corn daily, how is that KC? There is a difference between rewarding a desired behavior and just making unhealthy choices such as juice instead of water.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

Oh an call me crazy that I don't think a candy corn three days a week is setting my child up for a lifetime of unhealthy choices. Nor do I think a stamp or sticker is conditioning my child to only behave when they get one. Actually the more I think about it what a great example. He is satisfies with ONE candy corn. Teaching moderation at its best.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

Oh an I think there is a huge difference between expected behavior and learning new behaviors. Do I expect my first grader to sit quietly and read for 15 minutes a day? You bet. But this was all learned behavior. A skill must be taught and positivity reinforced before it becomes expected. Potty training is a great example of that. I taught my kids to pee in the potty and now I expect it. I taught DD to find a quiet spot, pick a book she likes, set a timer and the school taught her to read. All learned behavior that is now expected. If you don't like kids getting rewards for learned behavior you better home school.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

Oh an I want to make it clear that kids don't need to be rewarded with food. My kids earn individual time with me or DH when learning new behaviors or working on new skills. I do however think there is nothing wrong with rewarding for expected behavior. DD set a goal to read 50 books this month by Friday. She will earn a t shirt at school and a pedicure date with me. The behavior was expected but she stuck with it and I am proud of her so I will reward it too.

Chapter79 · September 2013

I'm in the "why do kids need to be rewarded every day?" club. Kids are supposed to behave in school. They shouldn't be rewarded because they do. That's to be expected, no? My DD's school has a light system... green, red, yellow. You behave, you get green. You don't- you get yellow. You REALLY don't, you get red. Everyone who has all green lights by Friday, gets 25 minutes of "free play time" in the classroom. If you didn't, they don't play. They sit quietly and read a book.

I wouldn't want a daily pop to be given to my kid at any age for behavior. Not for behavior that should be expected. At the end of the week would be fine for me (i.e. all green lights, you can have a treat). But I like my DD's class and her playtime better.

This whole thread makes me happy my daughters teacher gave away apples yesterday

She might have gone apple picking or something, and had extra.. I dunno. But DD and her class walked out eating apples when I picked her up. Much better than pops

AimeeL85 · September 2013

In our case (DS' class is 2 and 3 year olds) I don't think it has anything to do with their behavior or reward. I'm pretty sure all the kids get them no matter what.

My big thing about it really is the choking hazard (I mean, come on, it's a round hard candy that they can get off the stick) and the fact that they hand it to them, tell them to open it, and send them out the door. Three minutes later he's a sticky mess (because he doesn't know how to eat lollipops well yet), and crying because I'm not going to let him eat it in the car. It's a PITA to deal with it at pick-up every time.

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2013

Eh there is zero difference between a sticker and one freaking candy corn. Shockingly my child does not expect a candy corn daily, how is that KC? There is a difference between rewarding a desired behavior and just making unhealthy choices such as juice instead of water.

Yes, there is. There's much research that shows when you use candy or other junk food as rewards you make that junk food that much more desirable. The aap specifically speaks against it due to it. A sticker or other reward doesn't have the same effect. I also don't disagree with all rewards and find them appropriate in certain situations, like for working in a difficult development skill such as potty training. Playing in PE doesn't fall under that category IMO.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2013

I never thought of the sticker as a reward. I thought it was just something fun they handed the kids in their way out. I only learned recently that they only get the sticker if they had good behavior.

pitterpatter129 · September 2013

I just thought of you guys when the hairdresser handed my kid a sucker (dum-dum pop, and didn't ask me first either) while she cut his hair this morning and promised him a SECOND one "if he was good". I let him eat the second one too, in the carseat. Then I fed him McDonald's nuggets. It was a winning day for nutrition here. Not to mention the little bits of hair stuck in the sucker mess... I guess some days you just laugh and say whatever, it is what it is.

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