Trying to Get Pregnant

Would you?

I am interested in hearing opinions about this, and if anyone has done it I would love to hear about your experience! I find egg donation to be a hot topic whenever it is brought up so I figured I would see what you ladies thought :)


Would you ever consider donating your eggs? Companies compensate up to $10k (however most are around $6500) per cycle. If you did donate would it be for the money or the satisfaction? I have heard many people say that they would constantly be wondering where their child was, I'm not sure if I would or not...what about you?



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Re: Would you?

  • I definitely would. As long as I'm finished having my own :)

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  • I wouldn't, but I have a friend that did. I'm not clear on the details, but she did it 3 times because she wanted to money to get herself out of debt.
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  • I don't think I would.  Just because I would always wonder if my genes were out there somewhere.

    Is there a shortage of egg donors?

     

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  • @Valancyy Not that I know of. I know that it is difficult to donate though. You have to pass a health screening and a mental health screening before undergoing all the treatment (fertility shots, etc).

    @TeeJ526  I have heard that you cannot donate more than 6 times because of the health complications that can arise. Personally, if I ever did donate I would only do it once. There are a lot of health risks involved.
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  • @macylynn27 You have a good point. As far as I understand it though, the adoption process is much more difficult than obtaining donor eggs and having a baby. Also many women want to experience pregnancy and child-birth so I feel that might be why they choose to undergo IVF with donor eggs.
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  • brownmousebrownmouse member
    edited September 2013
    I would actually be pretty torn on this. While I agree that there are a lot of children out there that need to be adopted, I also understand wanting to carry a child and give birth because pregnancy and birth is an amazing thing. I think I would be more likely to be a surrogate for a couple before donating my eggs though, just because The thought of a doctor "harvesting" my eggs makes me uneasy. Not sure. They wouldn't want my eggs though. I have asthma and anxiety, and am not really that cute. Haha! Though, I do make cute kids, so you never know. Though I suspect that is mostly DH's doing. :)
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  • Joy2611 said:
    I went to grad school at a top rated university. Every week in the school's paper were personal ads for egg donation. I fit the criteria but decided I could never do it. It would be a piece of me that would never know me. It broke my heart. I'd want to be part of the child's life. Now. If my sister needed an egg? In a heartbeat.
    I feel like this too. I would totally do it if someone I knew and loved needed it and asked.
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  • @Joy2611 Now donating to my sister...that would be tough. If she raised the child in way I did not agree with, and I saw them all the time it might complicate things. I would be a a gestational carrier for my sister any day. If you gave your sister an egg would you ever tell the child they were genetically yours?
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  • @brownmouse  I think the harvesting process scares me. I actually almost donated eggs a while back. When I found out how they harvest the eggs and side effects of the drugs you inject I did not want to do it. They really educate you before you undergo anything (which is awesome!) and after I found out more about it, I just didn't feel safe doing it. I have a family history of cancer and I did not like the increased risks. 

    I find it interesting that I was approved to donate with a strong family history of cancer.
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  • Yeah, a friend of mine looked into it when she was wanting to make some extra money. She never wants kids, and it doesn't bother her that she will have little children around that are genetically linked to her so it seemed like a really good fit. She went in to the place for a consultation to find out more and decided not to do it because of the process and treatments.
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  • @packerfan4life  I might do it for myself. I haven't given it as much thought as I would if I really knew we couldn't conceive, does that make sense? I feel like when you are faced with a situation in reality, rather than hypothetical, you are more serious about the options/discussion. I know we can conceive which is probably why we haven't thought about it a lot. It is a matter of keeping baby in until full-term (I had an infection that was never detected and it made my water break at 22 weeks). 
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  • I read an article a while ago that was an exposé on egg donation. Apparently the harvesting process is a lot more complicated and risky than many think it will be. Several women featured in the article suffered some pretty serious long term side effects. I would never do it.

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  • I read an article a while ago that was an exposé on egg donation. Apparently the harvesting process is a lot more complicated and risky than many think it will be. Several women featured in the article suffered some pretty serious long term side effects. I would never do it.
    I've heard this as well.  A friend of mine looked into it in college and I think they pump you full of an absurd amount of hormones beforehand.  That being said, I'd might still do it for a close family member, even with all the weird "I'm your auntie and your mother" possibilities. 

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  • @Ceridwen21  That is exactly what scares me so much about it. When they discussed the side effects that "almost never happen" I told them no way. They said that your ovary swells up to the size of a fist on those drugs and they harvest over a dozen eggs! The ovary swelling up to that size makes you at risk for it twisting and damaging the fallopian tube. You have to have your ovary and tube removed. That was scary to me. 

    Estrogen rises in your body for each mature egg that you produce. If you are producing a dozen eggs the levels are insane compared to normal levels. There have been studies that show this increase in estrogen is linked to increase in certain cancers in women. Since I have a family history of breast cancer I just don't think it is safe. 


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  • I honestly don't think I could do it just for the money. It's not exactly an easy process. If it was for my sister or closest family or friends, I'd probably do it or at least look into it. Who knows if I'd qualify though.

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  • I'd do it for my sister, but I couldn't do it just for money... Even if I knew some woman out there needed it... It wouldn't feel right.

     

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  • BPaws said:
    I would never pass the criteria for it given my previous medical history.... So knowing that makes it easy for me to say "sure!" when in reality I don't know that I'd be able to. Though, I would love the chance to give like that to a family who couldn't have children.
    This.
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
  • I have done it four times. I stopped only because DH and I decided it was time to start our family. I loved it! The money was great, but waking up from the retrieval was always the best knowing I just started someone's family. You do have to give yourself injections 3x a day for 2 weeks (I was ok with that as I was drawing blood for a living at the time). The retrieval part is easy, they put u under, it's a 30 min procedure max. You stay in bed 24 hrs then you are good to go! All of my donations were actually out of the country recipients so I don't worry about running into my offspring. I haven't regretted it for even a min!
  • It's weird - when I first saw my OB for pelvic pain (before TTC), I had an ultrasound and she said that I would be a great candidate for egg donation because I already had tons of follicles. At the time I thought it would be so great to be able to help someone who desperately wanted to have a baby. Now that I haven't been able to get pregnant, I don't think I could handle the thought of someone else having "my" baby when I'm having trouble having one myself. I feel like an asshole for feeling that way. I feel like I should be more sympathetic now that I have a better idea of what IF feels like, but I just don't think I could do it now.
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  • If my pregnanc(ies) go well (I'm being optimistic) I'd rather be a surrogate than an egg donor... and even then the only person I'd definitely carry for without question would be my sister... But the egg donating... I couldn't do it. 
  • galv0515 said:

    I have done it four times. I stopped only because DH and I decided it was time to start our family. I loved it! The money was great, but waking up from the retrieval was always the best knowing I just started someone's family. You do have to give yourself injections 3x a day for 2 weeks (I was ok with that as I was drawing blood for a living at the time). The retrieval part is easy, they put u under, it's a 30 min procedure max. You stay in bed 24 hrs then you are good to go! All of my donations were actually out of the country recipients so I don't worry about running into my offspring. I haven't regretted it for even a min!

    I was thinking about this more and do think it must be a great feeling to know you helped someone in need.

    I "knew" 2 women (from another, non-pregnancy related message board) who built a friendship. One struggled with IF for years and the other offered to be a surrogate. Unfortunately it had a sad ending, but I thought it was amazing and selfless. I don't think I could make that kind of sacrifice, but I'm in awe of women who do.

     

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  • @lest12 thank you, I appreciate that. I have always wanted to be a surrogate, but I don't think I would be able to grow a person for 9 months and then give it away. To me it was something I could do to help. I was so guilty accepting the money tho, it took me 3 months to put it in the bank!
  • I totally would, and I wouldn't think twice about if my DNA was out there wandering around.  How many times have I given blood/plasma and never thought about the people it would go to?  But I don't have regular cycles.  I worry that I don't have enough eggs or that my eggs are no good.  I want to make sure I've got my own fair share before I even offer it up.  Of course, I'm a Bitter Betty and just assume they wouldn't want mine, anyway.
  • BPaws said:
    I would never pass the criteria for it given my previous medical history.... So knowing that makes it easy for me to say "sure!" when in reality I don't know that I'd be able to. Though, I would love the chance to give like that to a family who couldn't have children.
    This!
    I'm all for donation whether it be organ, eye, tissue, sperm or egg donation and while I'm quick to say I definitely would, I think I'd be far more hesitant should the opportunity ever arise. I suppose it's a moot point anyway since my medical history probably takes me out of the picture.

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  • Once I am done having a family of my own, I am willing to surrogate for my sister. She cannot have children for a couple medical reasons, and has asked me a million and two times. I finally had to sit her down and tell her I would love to help, but if she wants me to right away, I just can't because I am not done with my own family. But when we are done if she still wants to, I would love to try my hand at it.

    I don't think morally I could do it for the money. I mean, sure it'd be nice, but the main reason I would do it would be to help someone who wants a child.
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  • I probably wouldn't donate eggs but I would love to be a surrogate for a friend or family member. I would be a horrible candidate because of my miscarriage history, though. I wouldn't do it for the money just pay medical expenses.

     

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  • When our family is complete, egg donation is definitely something I want to do. After feeling so frustrated and defeated after just 7 months of trying, I can't imagine how a woman would feel to be told she can't ever have a child from her own flesh and blood. To be told that her child won't even have a chance of having her green eyes or her grandmothers lips. It would be devastating. I would love to help in the same way that I would love the help if I were in their shoes. Sign me up.
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  • I would totally do it. In fact, I was all signed up and was actually chosen by a couple. I was to the point of scheduling appointments when they found out that after all of their IF struggles, they had conceived on their own. My name us still on that one list out there, so if I am ever chosen again, I will seriously consider doing it, depending on where I am at in having my own family.
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  • When I first read the OP, my initial thought was "absolutely, yes!" but then reading everybody else's response made me consider other aspects. I wouldn't have initially thought of an egg as "my child". I realize that my son started out as an egg, but the two are just so far removed in my mind. I think that donating an egg would be a heavy decision, and there would be a lot to consider when doing it. I think I could probably come to the conclusion that it is something I would be capable of doing. Being a surrogate, no way. I would be way too attached after carrying a baby for 9 months.

  • talon1226 said:

    I obviously wouldn't be eligible seeing as how I'm currently going through IVF for myself, but I would like to share my opinion. 


    My egg retrieval sucked. Bad. It hurt and I got OHSS. My experience was probably worse than most but there are real risks. That being said, giving someone the gift of a child is one of the most precious, important gifts a person can give. 

    The idea that there are lots of babies sitting around waiting to be adopted right now is false. The only children that are waiting for adoptive homes are foster children who are older, sibling groups, and children with special needs. While they certainly need homes, not everyone is equipped to take on a child in that situation. Domestic infant adoption can easily cost $30,000 or more and some people wait years to be matched. Also, some people want to have the experience of being pregnant. The whole idea of "Oh, you're dealing with infertility? Just adopt!" is offensive to say the least. 

    I know that it would be an emotional journey with potential risks and I would never judge someone who doesn't feel it's something they could do either emotionally or physically, I just wanted to address some of the incorrect information that's been put out there. Also $10,000 is the cap under ASRM's ethics guidelines. Most women do not make nearly that much. 


    All of this. There are so many inaccuracies about IF, egg donation and adoption in this thread that I'm not never going to touch it. But, everything @talon1226 said is completely correct.



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  • Joy2611 said:

    I went to grad school at a top rated university. Every week in the school's paper were personal ads for egg donation. I fit the criteria but decided I could never do it. It would be a piece of me that would never know me. It broke my heart. I'd want to be part of the child's life.

    Now. If my sister needed an egg? In a heartbeat.

    I feel like this too. I would totally do it if someone I knew and loved needed it and asked.


    This exactly.
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  • Twinkie0612Twinkie0612 member
    edited September 2013
    Probably not. I personally feel that there are enough children that have already been born that need to be adopted.

    That being said, I've never thought about it until now either. But for now, that's where I stand.

    @macylynn27

    This is not comepletely a dig at you, but maybe you can give me your stance. 

    I have seen so many comments about how couples shouldn't do IVF (or other fertility treatments) because there are so many children that need good homes through adoption.  I even saw one comment that said couples going through IVF are being selfish and should choose the selfless act of adoption.  Here's my question, why are IF couples judged for not adopting, but no one ever judges the fertile couple that gets pregnant on their own for not adopting?  If all of these children are waiting to be adopted, maybe everyone that is TTC need to stop creating "more children" and just adopt the existing ones?

    To answer the original question, I doubt that I would be an egg donor (or given my first IVF cycle that I would even be a good candidate).  DH and I have discussed possibly donating embryos, if we end up with "extra" embryos once we are done having kids. 

    ETA:  I would consider egg donation for a family member or close friend, but I would not be doing it for the compensation. 

    Disclaimer:  I think adoption is a great choice and may be an option for us down the road.  I also think that people have some serious misconceptions about the adoption process.

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  • One of my coworkers donated her eggs recently. She is very thin and her belly swelled so much, it looked like she had a little baby bump. The hormones were kind of crazy too, she had to take quite a bit of time off of work for the procedure and feeling under the weather during the hormone treatments leading up to it. I'm sure like pregnancy, every experience is different, but for me it seems like too big of an ordeal to do just for the money. I would probably do it to help someone I know though.

      

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