Drunk Mom at Baby Shower

mskatiep · September 2013

So guess who's mom started drinking at 5 am this morning and was still tipsy when she came to my baby shower at 2 pm.... Yep that would be mine.

She behaved herself for the most part but I am still so hurt that she chose to drink today of all days. She cannot handle her daughters experiencing milestones in their lives, she has been drunk for every one of our weddings and every birth of every grandchild. We finally did an "intervention" 2 years ago, and things had been going so well! We were taking baby steps to improve our relationship, and she was not drinking around any of us.

I'm not anti alcohol, but this was a dry baby shower, and my mom gave up the privilege to "social drinking" when she has abused that privilege for the last 30 years. I am just so tired of giving her chance after chance and constantly being hurt and disappointed by her. I think it is time for me to be done and distance myself from her.

Sorry long vent/rant I just needed to get it out.... thanks Ladies!

babymama619 · September 2013

Ugh. Hope the test of the shower was better.

justmepreggo2020 · September 2013

*hugs*

LittleNan · September 2013

I'm sorry your shower wasn't how you hoped

lamo1210 · September 2013

I'm sorry your mom acted like this.

nano1 · September 2013

Ugh I am in the same boat, I'm sorry to say. I can't say that I know exactly how you feel but my shower is in a couple weeks and I've been having nightmares that my mom will be hammed when everyone shows up at noon. She promised me she wouldn't drink (until everyone left) but I have this terrible feeling in my gut that she won't do it. I am so sad because this day is so important and I don't want to feel angry with her.

mskatiep · September 2013

Thanks ladies, the shower actually turned out really well, and I'm so thankful for the hard work my sisters put into it. I just tried to stay away from my mom so I wouldn't let her ruin the day.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

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record2bexoxo · September 2013

I completely understand. I'm terrified for my mom to be anywhere like that when I'm around. I dreaded having a wedding because I didn't want her to show her ass or for me to have to even worry about it

Mailmans Baby Momma · September 2013

Internet hugs!

Justnooch · September 2013

So sorry about your mom. So sweet you have your sisters.

aboyle44 · September 2013

So sorry to hear, hugs!! I'm about to post regarding a shower I attended this weekend...her mom was out of control and I know it hurt the honoree's feelings. >:D<

[Deleted User] · September 2013

I'm so sorry. Both my parents abuse alcohol. They always said because they didnt drink all day they weren't alcoholics but when 5 o'clock came it was non stop til they passed out. I've had many events ruined by their embarrassing behavior. When I became pregnant I gave them an ultimatum, it was the alcohol or their grandchild and they knew I was willing to follow through. They have gotten so much better and have been going to
Counseling. I wasn't going to have my baby around that behavior. It is really hard because I love them to death and the rest of the time they are great but for me this is a non negotiable. Hopefully your mom gets back on track for her sake as well! Hugs

fiddlefern · September 2013

Sending you lots of hugs.

wendy2613 · September 2013

Sorry she did that and put herself before you. Sounds like maybe now is a good time to put some distance there. GL and big hugs!

GopherBaby13 · September 2013

I have not had my shower yet, but I can relate. My mother is an alcoholic in denial. Growing up, she would say awful and mean things to me and not remember the next day. The night of a very important dinner where I was receiving an award for being the best junior muskie fisherman in the country, she was passed out on the chair next to me. She didn't even see me on stage or anything. I was 14.

My dad quit drinking when I was 11 after he blacked out while the two of us were on a father/daughter Canadian fishing trip. Imagine how scary that was to not be able to wake up your dad and you are all alone in a different country. He has since started again (when I turned 21) and gets so hammered at home, he passes out before dinner.

I'm worried that my mother will get really drunk at my shower. There will be plenty of wine (her drink of choice), champagne, and hard cider. She hates that I am pregnant and has blamed her increased drinking on being so stressed because of her granddaughter's existence. I'm so sorry you had to put up with that, on such a happy occasion no less. I hope you do whatever you need to feel at peace.

mskatiep · September 2013

Thank you ladies so much for your support and kind words. I really should be thankful because she was mild compared to how she had been in the past. Part of that may be due to the very "colorful" conversation that I had with her a few hours prior to the shower in which I told her if she didn't sober up and eat something then I didn't want her to even come to the shower (I wasn't very nice).

I realize that alcoholism is a disease and that once people are in the grips of it, it is very difficult to stop, but damn do they hurt the ones they love in the process. I want a relationship with my mom, she is seriously wonderful when she is sober, but she is a complete 180 when drunk and can say the most vile mean horrible things and then expect no one to be hurt the next day.

Going forward I will just have to stand my ground with her, and not allow the drinking around me or our new baby.

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