Stay at Home Moms

Please tell me I'm not a bad mom

edited September 2013 in Stay at Home Moms
Because I feel like a shitty parent these days. In case you can't see my ticker, DS is 3.5.

All of a sudden he keeps peeing on his bedroom floor. He's been potty trained for months. Twice he's peed in a bedroom at my parents house. The second time it happened there was Friday and DH and I had a long talk with him about only peeing in the toilet. We ran a quick errand and left him with my parents and he peed in the backyard.

On top of that, he is just wild sometimes. He runs around doing this weird growl-like noise, blowing raspberries, dumping toys out and then not playing with them, throwing toys...occasionally he'll hit one of us if he's mad about being told to/not to do something. I don't know if its a delayed reaction to DD's arrival in July, something he's picking up at preschool or a normal phase?? He gets lots of one on one with me and DH still because DD takes long naps. We still go out and do our normal activities during the day. He's sleeping and eating fine.

My mom keeps making me feel like crap with her snarky comments. She thinks he's a wild out of control brat. Most of the time he's my same sweet little boy. But sometimes It's like he's possessed by the devil. Do all kids go through this at 3.5? Should I be more concerned about the peeing?

Help? I need wine and maybe a hug. This parenting thing is hard as hell sometimes

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom

  • No advice, but you are a great mom and here.....
    Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

    image



    image
  • Loading the player...
  • Even the peeing sounds normal? He's not hiding it or denying he did it. Sometimes he'll tell me he did it and sometimes I just find it but he fully admits he peed on the floor

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • DS1 had some peeing issues right after we moved.  I guess it's not that abnormal for little boys to do that when they have a lot of change going on.  
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Thanks. We've been having him clean it up. He takes his pants off to pee so his clothes aren't getting wet but this morning after he peed on his floor I told him I'm setting a potty timer and he has to go every time. He didn't fight me on it today.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Mrs.Hizzo said:
    This just made me laugh. Because we're past that stage and now I can laugh. ;)

    The weird growly noises are pretty common in little boys that age, especially when they want attention. They don't know a more appropriate way of asking for it, so they basically act like little idiots. My oldest was a pro.

    Dumping out toys is fun. It makes a cool noise and a big mess. Awesome boy-fun.

    Even my youngest, who is the sweetest, most tractable kid ever, hits now and then when he gets super frustrated with me.

    And the peeing. This summer, my oldest said "Hey, mom, you know when I was three? I used to pee behind the chair in my room all the time." I was like, wait, what???? "Yeah, I don't know why. I just did. I haven't done it in a long time." The thing is, I knew there was a bunch of pee behind that chair, but it was at the same time my dog was failing and became incontinent, and I always assumed it was him. And we replaced the carpet shortly after.

    Stay strong. This will pass.

    I really needed to hear all that! Glad I could make you laugh :)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @Lala- I know, it's awful. He told me that, and I was all, "But honey, why? Why on earth would you do that when the bathroom is just a few steps away?" And he basically said,  "I dunno, Mom, it just seemed like the thing to do!" totally unconcerned.
  • Oh man, boys are odd creatures!  My DS isn't 3 yet but will be soon, and he is the same in many ways. I am really working on keeping my temper in check because he bounces off the walls all day long, making messes faster than I can even see, and being loud while doing it.

    He also makes a lot of random, non-human sounds.

    He has been potty trained for a year.  The other day he had an "accident" in his underwear totally out of the blue.  Thinking something was wrong I asked him why he peed in his underwear and he shrugged his shoulders and said "I don't know, mama. I just wanted to pee in my underwear."
    DS (7 years old) from FET in 2010
    DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
    TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
  • He sounds like my DS.  He also went through a peeing stage, and he was doing it on purpose. He did it when he was angry with one of us, or if he wanted our attention and we were focused on DD.  Are you parents giving the baby a lot of special attention? I just noticed my FIL constantly asks if he can hold the baby.  He does this while he is playing a game with DS.  DS starts to get jealous because it sends him the message that he isn't important and FIL would rather spend time with his sister.  I know my FIL loves my DS dearly and does not want to give him that message, but his actions do.  When your DS pees, your parents have to stop everything and focus on him.

    DS also does funny things like run around make karate chops.  He has started blowing raspberries and he will do it in people's faces.  He will continue an action when has been told to stop.  He throws temper tantrums like nobody's business.  It is like he is pushing his boundaries to see just how far he can go.  I *think* consistency is the key, but I wouldn't know for sure since we are in the midst of it.

    There have been multiple times that I have had to pick him up and carry him out of a place kicking and screaming.  The most embarrassing times are at church (it has happened 3 times) and at the zoo on senior day where every old person was an expert.  One day DS slapped me in the middle of the church service. People would make comments as I was passing them. Sometimes they give "helpful" suggestions, sometimes make comments like I am the mean mom, and other times just shake their heads and sigh.  My mom makes multiple comments and calls with special suggestions. She talks to her friends about what I could do differently and sends me articles. My dad insists he heard about a program on the radio that is guaranteed to work.  All you can do is keep your head up and know that you are doing the very best you can.

    My cousin, whose son was and continues to be a very challenging child, insists that it improves and gave me a suggestion.  She said she had to start telling her mom, "You had a chance to raise your children without interference, please give me the same courtesy."  I tried it on my mom yesterday, and she actually called me back just to tell me that I am a good mom. Sometimes moms need a little check.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Man you all made me feel better. I'm glad it's not just my kid.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I have no idea about the peeing (DS is only very, very recently potty trained and I use that term loosely because he has yet to poop in the potty.  There, that must make you feel better :) ), but I can attest to this age totally kicking my ass.  The things you listed about running around making noises, tantruming, etc., we're totally there.  Some days I feel like we must be doing something wrong, but from talking to other people with kids DS's age (people who I feel are great parents) they say they're going through the same things too.  I really just think this is an extremely challenging age for many reasons.  I just hope that I'm "doing it right" and we'll eventually come out the other side.  At some point.  Maybe?  
  • One day my mom went to clean my little brother's room when he was around 3 or 4.  His closet smelled terrible and she was afraid the dogs were messing in his closet.  She found the source was a shoe box.  When she pulled it out, my little brother causally  said " yeah that's me pee box."   My mom said " What ?  what is a pee box, why do you have a pee box ?"  He just looked at her like she was stupid and said "  Mom, that's the box I pee in."  Apparently, if he has to pee in the middle of the night, instead of using the bathroom next door, my brother decided it was best to pee in a box in his closet.  She threw it away and told him he needed to pee in the toilet from now on.  She couldn't believe how casual he was about it, as if everyone had a pee box.

    My DS is 2.5 but he too is going through a growling stage.  He also throws toys, food and himself on the ground when he doesn't get his way.

    I have a feeling your mom forgot what it is like to have a toddler in the house. 

  • Uuuhhh....this post is scaring me.
  • kayla&joe said:
    Stefibeth said:
    I have no idea about the peeing (DS is only very, very recently potty trained and I use that term loosely because he has yet to poop in the potty.  There, that must make you feel better :) ), but I can attest to this age totally kicking my ass.  The things you listed about running around making noises, tantruming, etc., we're totally there.  Some days I feel like we must be doing something wrong, but from talking to other people with kids DS's age (people who I feel are great parents) they say they're going through the same things too.  I really just think this is an extremely challenging age for many reasons.  I just hope that I'm "doing it right" and we'll eventually come out the other side.  At some point.  Maybe?  
    DS1 has been pee trained for about 4 months but has only pooped on the potty like 2 times. There, that should make YOU feel better too Stefibeth!  We have tried everything we can think of (or people have suggested) to get him to poop on the potty and it's not working so we've decided to just wait it out.  Eventually he will poop in the potty but he is the type of kid that it has to be HIS idea.  DS2 poops on the potty all the time like it's no big deal but DS1 isn't having any of it.  

    DS1 has also peed in his room and then told me about it.  When I ask why he says. "because I wanted to".  Ugh!! 

    As far as all the other behavior, I think it's all totally normal for a 3.5 year old boy.  We have a new baby too and all the same things are happening in our house (x2 because DS2 follows whatever DS1 does).  

    Keep on keeping on!
    Thanks for this!  It does make me feel better :)  

    I'm just so happy he'll pee on the potty now.  Potty training him to this point was a Night. Mare.  I do hope he gets #2 worked out soon, but for now I'm just waiting and encouraging.  I definitely feel you on it having to be his idea.  
  • Mrs.Hizzo said:

    This just made me laugh. Because we're past that stage and now I can laugh. ;)

    The weird growly noises are pretty common in little boys that age, especially when they want attention. They don't know a more appropriate way of asking for it, so they basically act like little idiots. My oldest was a pro.

    Dumping out toys is fun. It makes a cool noise and a big mess. Awesome boy-fun.

    Even my youngest, who is the sweetest, most tractable kid ever, hits now and then when he gets super frustrated with me.

    And the peeing. This summer, my oldest said "Hey, mom, you know when I was three? I used to pee behind the chair in my room all the time." I was like, wait, what???? "Yeah, I don't know why. I just did. I haven't done it in a long time." The thing is, I knew there was a bunch of pee behind that chair, but it was at the same time my dog was failing and became incontinent, and I always assumed it was him. And we replaced the carpet shortly after.

    Stay strong. This will pass.

    All of this.

    On the subject of peeing in other places than the toilet, DS1 used to pee in the bathroom garbage every single morning when he was 3, going on 4. I have no idea why. I would just dump the garbage in the trash outside and have him scrub out the pail.

     

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    image

     
  • I am seriously cracking up at the idea of a "pee-box" @disneygeek77

    Boys are so odd sometimes. 
      image
    My daughter is my hero.
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"