Vent: SIL got to hand me down clothes first

Re: Vent: SIL got to hand me down clothes first

• 3Dewdrops member

  September 2013

  Harsh. I had a friend who had multiple kids of the same sex and would get rid of their stuff knowing she was pregnant with yet another one.  She had baby showers for each too.  ::no words::

  
  

  My MIL told my SIL who just had a baby last month to "not buy too much because she had hand me downs coming" her way. Umm, she offered my SIL my stuff from my DDs?!   I was so flabbergasted I couldn't even say anything.

  
  

  I hope you still get fun stuff in the leftovers.  =(

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• GopherBaby13 member

  September 2013

  I wouldn't give them shit. I'm assuming this is your first? And this is their FOURTH girl? Fuck that. Honestly, I would call up SIL R and ask her what the deal is. She promised you the clothes and swings. It's my biggest pet peeve ever when people say/promise something and don't follow through, so I would have no issue making a stink. However, I would make more of a stink with the SIL B. You should get first choice on the clothes AND swings. She isn't due until January so they don't NEED for you to make a decision until your baby is already here. They can deal. Ugh. Sorry if this is bad advice. I really hate people like your SIL and I have had a really shitty day so I might just want to take it out on her lol.

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• SweetLaura286 member

  September 2013

  SIL R has no idea they got hijacked. Yes it is our first . Thank you for being angry with me!!! It's making me feel better. I mean realistically, okay, I will get whatever is left and hopefully it will mostly be good, useable stuff.. But it is just such the principle of it. Feels like such a shitty thing for SIL B to do. And I'm sure anything particularly cute will not even reach us. And I was going to be fair and give her plenty, too. Not feeling like being super generous with them now, to be honest. Oh PS they make more money than us but spend it foolishly and BIL didn't have a car to get to work.. So we gave them my old one when I got a new used one, just gave it to them for free. Cos you know.. Family... -_-

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• MrsJillian member

  September 2013

  Since SIL B is due 2 months after you, it would make sense for you to have all the baby clothes now.  Babies grow through the clothes so quickly.  My two only wore the 3 month size for the first month or two.  Then they were in the 6 month size.  You should get to have the clothes, and then when  your baby outgrows them, pass them on to SIL B.  I would also talk to SIL R.  If she put these items aside for you, then she might be upset to know that her wishes aren't be carried out.

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• GopherBaby13 member

  September 2013

  MrsJillian said:

  Since SIL B is due 2 months after you, it would make sense for you to have all the baby clothes now.  Babies grow through the clothes so quickly.  My two only wore the 3 month size for the first month or two.  Then they were in the 6 month size.  You should get to have the clothes, and then when  your baby outgrows them, pass them on to SIL B.  I would also talk to SIL R.  If she put these items aside for you, then she might be upset to know that her wishes aren't be carried out.

  Yup. If I could bold on mobile, I would bold the part about SIL R being upset. You should definitely tell her. Like ASAP.
  
  

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• Chargersgrl33 member

  September 2013

  I would be upset also but in reality it isn't that big of a deal.  My SIL, who had a boy 3 months ago posted all of her stuff online for sale and never once asked me if we were interested.  We gave them a TON of stuff, a rock n play, swing, clothes, bottles, etc.  It just shows how selfish they are.

  And in this case it's the same thing, let them be selfish and don't hold feelings towards it, just know that you can't give them anything.  I'm so sorry you are dealing with this though, it is annoying for sure!

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• SweetLaura286 member

  September 2013

  Chargersgrl33 said:

  I would be upset also but in reality it isn't that big of a deal.  My SIL, who had a boy 3 months ago posted all of her stuff online for sale and never once asked me if we were interested.  We gave them a TON of stuff, a rock n play, swing, clothes, bottles, etc.  It just shows how selfish they are.

  And in this case it's the same thing, let them be selfish and don't hold feelings towards it, just know that you can't give them anything.  I'm so sorry you are dealing with this though, it is annoying for sure!

  That is suuuuper shitty and selfish of them. I can't believe that! I know it's not at all the end of the world but for now I am just so angry. I know it'll work out.. No big deal.. But GRR.
  
  And you guys are so right. It's 2.5 months between our due dates as I am due in the beginning of November with an eviction notice on my belly dated Nov 8th at the LATEST. And she is due at the end of January with no 'due by' date. Plenty of time to pass on clothes. The worst part of it though is that they are being so sneaky about it. "Oh we are just going to go through and pull out the things we gave to them." Uh huh... Sure. Right.
  
  I just really hope I get whatever is left SOON so that I can figure out what I need to buy then.
  

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• MsCrispy member

  September 2013

  It sucks that they promised you the stuff, but you really can't complain about free stuff.

  On the cloths, it sounds like B is just asking R for her cloths back. If that is the case, it is perfectly justified and you aren't really getting the leftovers. I would also suggest asking to use the cloths for the first month or two, that would at least make it so you wouldn't have to buy any newborn or 0-3 month cloths.

  The swing would annoy me. Kind of sounds like R is just flaky. I understand that B saw and asked for the swing, but R should have said that it was already claimed.

  How is your relationship with R? Are B and R sisters and you are their SIL? If that is the case, I'm guessing R feels more loyal to B. Also, B may have given R a lot of baby stuff previously, so R may feel like she has to pay her back.

  Still sucks and she shouldn't have promised you the stuff. I kind of hate getting hand me downs from others, it is hard to tell if they want it back or if/when you will actually get it.

  
  

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• GopherBaby13 member

  September 2013

  @MsCrispy
  
  The thing is that R doesn't know that B went through the clothes, nor does she know that they have claimed a swing. B took it upon herself when she saw that MIL and FIL were bringing OP the clothes and swing.

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• MsCrispy member

  September 2013

  GopherBaby13 said:

  @MsCrispy The thing is that R doesn't know that B went through the clothes, nor does she know that they have claimed a swing. B took it upon herself when she saw that MIL and FIL were bringing OP the clothes and swing.

  I missed that part. Then this is more of a problem with the inlaws. I would have my DH have a word with them.
  

  
  

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• MrsBynum0505 member

  September 2013

  Sounds like my mom. My mom has a two year old and we promised us his crib that he NEVER slept in because she lets him sleep in her bed (which is not ok). So we waited and waited and went over to her house the other night and she turned it into a full size bed for her guest room. I was pissed. She's also given away all of my baby things that I wanted to have for our daughter to see. Which really ticked me off. Good luck with everything. Around here we have consignment sales that churches and others do where they set up a store and have clothes (mostly new) for really cheap. We've bought a lot from there.

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• Zilly13 member

  September 2013

  I'd be super pissed too.  If she hijacked all the clothes, then I would most definitely hold onto both swings until you know which one you want to keep. 

  

  

  
  

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• dobrydney member

  September 2013

  I agree with @estreyas you're due first, you can ask for the smaller stuff and then wash it and pass it off.  I do think it was kind of crappy of them to lead you on.  DH and I have been told not to buy anything until after our shower which is on 10/05 and I'm due 11/26 and that has been hard!  Hopefully it works out for the best!
  

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