Anyone else finger feeding (or have?) I need support.

Nukke · September 2013

Auli was 6 lbs 14 oz at birth and can't fit her little mouth around my giant areolae to latch. The midwives have me trying her at the breast for every feed for at least 10 minutes at a time, but she gets so frustrated so easily and fusses and wails at my nipple. I'm pumping and DH and i feed her with my finger, a tiny tube and a syringe. It's been a little over a week of this and Auli is finally up to her birth weight. We have tiny breakthroughs every few days. Three days ago she fell asleep at the breast and let the milk pour into her mouth without a real latch, but no fussing. I cried I was so happy. Then yesterday during one of her feeds she sorta latched (and unlatched and rooted, latched and unlatched.....) over and over for a good 10 min and managed to remember to suck and swallow a good 10 or 15 times in there.

Is anyone else going through this or similar latch or breast feeding issues? My new mantra has been "two steps forward, one step back" and I repeat it to myself when I'm feeling low.

Kristonita12 · September 2013

I also went through this. My pedi had my supplement with formula, though, and now LO is FF. I. Really sad about it and am trying to figure out solutions as well because it's a major source of feeling like a failure for me. I'll be following this thread to see what others come up with, good luck to you!

hmlynch84 · September 2013

You are doing great! I started out in the exact same situation as you. My LO would latch but would not suck, lost too much weight and I had to pump and finger feed with a syringe until he gained his birth weight back which he did by his 2 week appointment. Just keep at it, it gets so much better! What matters is that LO is getting the nutrition she needs at the moment, no matter how, which you are doing! Keep trying her at the breast, eventually she will get it. I finally was able to transition to exclusively breast feeding at about 3 weeks, suddenly he just knew how to do it. His latch still needs work but everyday gets better. Hang in there, you can do it. Since she seems to get frustrated maybe you can feed her a little bit first so she's not so hungry, then try her on your breast, and maybe express some first so that the second she latches on she gets milk, I don't know if that will work , just an idea. Good luck!

SweetPeaK26 · September 2013

Kyndall did this the first 3 days. When we found out her jaundice was quickly going up, I got out the sheild. She immediately latched and nursed for 20 minutes. I have tons of milk, so sometimes she gets a little too much and drowns a bit, but she's eating for 20-30 minutes at a time, and falling asleep content.

I highly recommend a sheild for a while, till they get the hang of things!

Nukke · September 2013

hmlynch84 said:

You are doing great! I started out in the exact same situation as you. My LO would latch but would not suck, lost too much weight and I had to pump and finger feed with a syringe until he gained his birth weight back which he did by his 2 week appointment. Just keep at it, it gets so much better! What matters is that LO is getting the nutrition she needs at the moment, no matter how, which you are doing! Keep trying her at the breast, eventually she will get it. I finally was able to transition to exclusively breast feeding at about 3 weeks, suddenly he just knew how to do it. His latch still needs work but everyday gets better. Hang in there, you can do it. Since she seems to get frustrated maybe you can feed her a little bit first so she's not so hungry, then try her on your breast, and maybe express some first so that the second she latches on she gets milk, I don't know if that will work , just an idea. Good luck!

This post made me cry because I want so so badly for this to come true for us too. Your suggestion to give her a little snack first and then give her milk during a letdown is exactly what I've been doing. It's a bit strange, but I worry I'm making her "lazy" because the milk absolutely pours into her mouth. But then if I make her start the stimulation she gets exhausted and frustrated! I'll keep at it. I'm determined, and she seems interested still.

SweetPeaK26 said:

Kyndall did this the first 3 days. When we found out her jaundice was quickly going up, I got out the sheild. She immediately latched and nursed for 20 minutes. I have tons of milk, so sometimes she gets a little too much and drowns a bit, but she's eating for 20-30 minutes at a time, and falling asleep content. I highly recommend a sheild for a while, till they get the hang of things!

I'm going to talk to my midwife/LC about a nipple sheild starting next week if she hasn't started nursing yet. I worry about it affecting my supply, though, because it seems my breasts haven't gotten into a rhythm yet. Some pumps they barely give me anything, and then others they spurt like a geyser.

MamaInMN · September 2013

I'm sorry you are going through this! We had to supplement with syringe feeding and it is a lot of work. Does she suck on your finger? That's the only advice I have is to do some practice with her when she's not eating. Our LC had us work with LO on opening her mouth wide then sucking our pinkie just like she would to nurse.
Good luck!

Nukke · September 2013

MamaInMN said:

I'm sorry you are going through this! We had to supplement with syringe feeding and it is a lot of work. Does she suck on your finger? That's the only advice I have is to do some practice with her when she's not eating. Our LC had us work with LO on opening her mouth wide then sucking our pinkie just like she would to nurse. Good luck!

She sucks great! We were told to move her from the pinky to the bigger index finger, and only give her a squirt of milk if she really works for it.

Curls218 · September 2013

I'm not finger feeding but I had to give bottles at first due to low blood sugar and jaundice. DS's latch was also not great and so he wasn't getting much from me and I was ending up bruised and in pain. I admit he still doesn't latch perfectly but the pain has gone way down and he is able to nurse for long periods of time. We still give a pumped bottle for some feedings but the they day I EBFed for almost 48 hours which was a huge accomplishment.

I should add that he was 6lb 6oz at birth so he was a tiny little guy. He's now 4 weeks old. Hang in there! As she grows it'll get better. At least you're giving her the breast so she can work on latching better.

MamaInMN · September 2013

Nukke said:

MamaInMN said:

I'm sorry you are going through this! We had to supplement with syringe feeding and it is a lot of work. Does she suck on your finger? That's the only advice I have is to do some practice with her when she's not eating. Our LC had us work with LO on opening her mouth wide then sucking our pinkie just like she would to nurse.
Good luck!

She sucks great! We were told to move her from the pinky to the bigger index finger, and only give her a squirt of milk if she really works for it.

Sounds like she will get there, just working on her own timeline! Hang in there...

Kellseibellsey · September 2013

I could have wrote this post. It has been a huge struggle for me too. LO is two weeks now and we still have to bottle feed her (switched from finger feeding about 1 week ago), but I offer her the breast before each feeding. She is getting more comfortable with it, but her suck/latch isn't good enough to bring her milk.

I also use a nipple shield and have noticed a small drop in supply.

I just keep telling myself- no matter what I do, I am a good mom, because i am feeding my baby. Keep it up and don't give up. I have another LC meeting today. I will let you know if I learn anything useful.

magdalina.h · September 2013

She has a great latch IF using the nipple shield. I'm going to a support group tomorrow to get help with the latch without the shield. I too have gigantic aerials and inverted nips. Good times

VitaLuna · September 2013

We went through the same thing. LO was born at 37w, was small, couldn't latch, and lost too much weight. They also had us try to latch 10 minutes (no luck). I hand expressed colostrum and we finger-fed that, then started using a shield around day 4 when my milk came in. My girl is/was the same way.. Latch, suck a couple times, pull off, latch, pull off, repeat. Around 2 1/2 wks I could get her to latch and suck without the shield around 5 minutes, but only when she was really tired (she's a very frantic eater otherwise). At about 3wks she was consistently latching one side, and now at 4wks she's eating at the breast with no shield all the time.

All of this to say that it can be a slow process, but it does get better! Those first weeks were rough. I cried often, felt like a failure that my boobs didn't work for her, and felt like we'd never make any progress. When the lactation consultant told me "it just takes time", I wanted to slap her because I was so overwhelmed and upset.. But she was right. Just keep taking one day at a time and know that you're doing the best you can and it will get better. Try to get her to latch when she's drowsy or calm alert, and be very mindful of how she's latching each and every time (it's easy to get frustrated and just try to latch them in any way possible). If it doesn't work, try again next time. If she's crying/upset at breast, just go to the finger so she doesn't associate the breast with being a source of frustration/upset. You will both get there, I promise! I don't know about you, but no one told me breastfeeding/motherhood would be like this! Hugs for you and everyone else struggling with BF.

NNGnome · September 2013

I had issues like this with my eldest, he was born at 36 weeks and his suck reflex wasn't great, and I had pretty flat nipples, I went to the nipple shield straight away and was able to go to just nipple at around 3 weeks, although he still struggled to latch for another 6 weeks or so, it was a long struggle, but definitely worth it.

Just to let you know, what you get when you pump is often not related to how much supply you have when the baby nurses, for example, if I only pump, in one session I could get 40-50 ml, but if I nurse and then pump (the last time I did this I nursed and DS2 took 28ml) then I get around 80ml on top of what I nursed, which is double, because the let down is so much better when the baby nurses, so going to the nipple shield may affect your supply a little, but I wouldn't worry about it too much, with regards to how much you are getting when you pump.

KaylaC0514 · September 2013

That is hard. Just try to remember that any successful feed is better than none at all! If you're giving it your best effort that's all you can do.

kat81again2 · September 2013

It's very impressive that Auli is up to birth weight after 1 week. DS had some of the same problems you're describing and didn't get to his birth weight until 3-4 weeks. It was slow, painful going for a while.

Just keep at it! Given that somehow she is still getting the nutrition the way you are feeding her, I'd say just keep practicing the breast and doing what you're doing (supplementing with your other strategies.) But if it gets too overwhelming, do consider letting her try a bottle (of your milk) for those feedings. The spoon/finger/syringe did NOT work with DS but he could take a bottle, and that helped him actually get the milk he needed, which gave him the strength to really nurse rather than falling asleep each time. But she DOES still need to practice latching and actual breast feeding so as to avoid nipple confusion if you go that route. I promise it will get better! (And if it doesn't for weeks, just stop BFing and THAT IS OK!!!)

Asivec · September 2013

Same issues and it does get better. Just keep at it!

Asivec · September 2013

As a side note you can also syringe feed using your breast. Just empty it first by pumping. Hobomama.com seems to have a lot of information. Sorry it's not clicky.

Nukke · September 2013

Thank you all so so much for the advice. I've tried some new things based off of some websites that were posted and youtube searches. A few things I've changed that I think are really helping:

I'm having LOTS more skin to skin time with Auli, and we both get naked before we attempt a breast feed. I let her root her way down to the breast and she always attempts to latch, even if she's fussy about it. It apparently stimulates her instinct to nurse.

I'm also almost always finger feeding her when she's right at the (naked) breast. I don't care how messy it gets (we both get covered in milk because my nipples leak all over the place) but I want her to associate my breast with comfort and milk.

I also wanted to say to everyone here, especially to @Kristonita12 , that we're all doing a good job with our babies--whether we were successful or not with breastfeeding. I know the heartache of resorting to a bottle and feeling like a failure, but we can't do that to ourselves. We are feeding our babies, and no one loves them and is more devoted to their well being than we are. We're all doing our best, and should be proud.

I'm still seeing progress with Auli every day. They really are baby steps, but I remain confident that this will work out.

The more I read success stories, the more I'm confident Auli will get it. I'm determined, and she is still showing such strong signs of interest, that I know this will work.

My mother had trouble with me when I was born too. I had severe jaundice (ABO incompatibility--hemolytic disease of the newborn) and was too weak to nurse for a couple weeks after birth. My mother's milk dried up, but she decided to try to start nursing me anyway when I was a month old. I was exclusively formula fed from a bottle at the time, but she sat with me every day and let me suck at her breast, and eventually I got the hang of it and her milk came back in.

Kristonita12 · September 2013

@nukke thank you so much for saying that. I really needed to hear that tonight. Good luck to you on your journey with breast feeding, it sounds like you are really going to get it!!

Asivec · September 2013

Nipple shields... Are ... Amazing! If you have not given one a chance, go buy one for 10 dollars. Amazing improvement for me and my LO.

jlp0528 · September 2013

@Nukke thank you for sharing your struggle and being so candid about everything!! We just welcomed our little girl into the world Tuesday morning at 1:50 and it's been a struggle to getting a handle on breast feeding. I have cried several times ah feeding in sheer frustration because it's been tough even with help while at the hospital and we just came home this afternoon and our first feeding was a tough one so seeing your post and reading everything has been such a sigh of relief. Thank you.

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