Questioning myself

honeydew01 · September 2013

So DD got sick right after her 6 month shots. She got a virus while we were at the dr office. She wasn't eating for 3-4 days and her sleep was disrupted. I posted about the not eating because we were so worried. Anyway, while she was sick we obviously gave her extra loving, lots of holding, cuddling. The one night she had fever and was moaning, I held her and nursed her a lot. I knew there was a chance that the sleep training will be compromised but she was sick and I wasn't going to let her cry by herself in the crib.

Previous to all this she was sleeping from 6:30/7 to 7 with one middle of the night wake up and sometimes she'd even skip that. We did sleep training at 5 months but I still fed her in the middle of the night if it had been 4 hours or more. She went from 3 to 2 to 1 MOTN feeds on her own and sometimes would sleep 12 hours (although rare).

Anyway, she's feeling better and still waking up multiple times at night now. She was also fussing/crying to go down for a couple days after she got well but that has gotten better. I've stuck to the routine and tried to stay consistent. I don't know maybe she's going through the 6 month growth spurt? teething? But she's waking up every 2 hours at night now and starts screaming...

SIL was visiting this week and her kid has STTN since 2 months and she has not done any MOTN feeds since 2-3 months. (I do realize all kids are different and I shouldn't compare..) She kept telling me that if I keep feeding her at night that she'll get used to it and it becomes a habit. On one hand I don't want to create a habit, on the other hand, DD wasn't eating during the day, like at all, so I was desperate to get milk in her so I'd feed her when she woke up in the middle of the night when she was recovering.

SIL is gone and now I am sitting here and questioning myself..am I creating a bad habit? Should I not be feeding her in the middle of the night at all? (she's distracted during the day so she doesn't nurse good in my opinion). Sometimes she eats well in the middle of the night, other times she eats a little and falls asleep. She has gone 12 hours without waking up in the past, so technically she is capable of it. Could SIL be right that DD is just doing this to get me to go get from the crib? Will she go back to sleeping good again? I know the first year is full of sleep changes even though SIL says her kid has always slept 12 hours/a night...and I understand that we may have to do sleep training reminders..I just don't know if I can handle her screaming for so long when I know if I feed her she'll fall asleep. we put her down awake for naps and bedtime and she puts herself to sleep so she knows how..

I probably sound like the most insecure mom right now..but I'm really questioning myself and don't have any mom friends to talk with. I'm talking to DH about it as I am typing this..he's also a first time parent...

ASmallWonder · September 2013

First, no two kids are the same so don't let your SIL make you feel you're doing something wrong just because you're doing something differently than she's doing it. That said, if LO is back to health, she should be doing most of her eating during the day. Some babies still wake up overnight and that's ok but every two hours isn't normal. You said she often doesn't eat more than a tiny bit overnight and to me, that says she's waking for comfort. Have you tried not feeding her and offering her a pacifier or a quick bounce/rock to get her back to sleep? I do believe at this age they start to wake out of habit more than necessity (but like I said, all kids are different so I'm not saying it's wrong of you to feed her, just that you might want to try something else to see if that's truly what she's after)

honeydew01 · September 2013

Sorry I was not clear. She wakes and cries every 2 hrs but sometimes she puts herself back to sleep. I don't feed her every 2 hours. Before sickness she may have woken up that often but she didn't cry, she'd put herself back to sleep quietly.
If it's been more than 4 hours I feed her, if not I try to comfort her or DH goes in and tries to comfort her. She doesn't take a pacifier. I don't jump in to go in as soon as she cries I give it 3-5 minutes.

ASmallWonder · September 2013

KatieKarasin said:

My daughter had this same problem. She REFUSED to eat during the day, but then at night would eat like a champ. I put up with it for awhile because I felt desperate to get calories into her. However, the doctor pointed out that if you restrict her calories at night and start cutting bottles out she will be hungrier during the day and begin to eat. I started by increasing the powdered formula to water ratio in her daytime bottles just a little so she got extra calories and I knew she wasn't starving, then I would feed her bottles at night that were mostly water with a little formula in them. Each night I would reduce the amount of water and powder she got in her bottle. She is now down to one bottle a night and I'm working on cutting it out. Starting solids has also helped her get more calories during the day.

I just want to point out that you should never ever do this. Using a different ratio than what is instructed can make your baby sick.

this decaf life · September 2013

Don't compare. Every baby is different, my friend was telling me the other day that her first baby was great, STTN really early, but her second has never been a good sleeper even though they did the same things with both kids. DD doesn't STTN, she eats a ton in the MOTN so I'm not going to force her to give it up quite yet. Not until she can start taking more in during the day, she's gone from 3 feedings to 1.

I'd especially give an adjustment period after being sick. Do what you feel is right though, not what someone else suggests. I feel like my daughter isn't ready to go all night without eating so I get up and feed her.

honeydew01 · September 2013

Thank you guys! I truly do know not to compare babies in my head, it's just so hard not to do. I do think DD is not ready to wean from MOTN feeds, at least not yet.

hmontty · September 2013

I fed my kids in the middle of the night, both of them, until they just started sleeping through the night on their own. For DD, that was at 6 weeks. For DS, it was at 5 months.

I always top DS off right before bed. Since 5 months, he sleeps 7:30 to 7:30/8:30 every night, no wake-ups.

MelissaRae1525 · September 2013

Nicb13 said:

elmoali said:

KatieKarasin said:

My daughter had this same problem. She REFUSED to eat during the day, but then at night would eat like a champ. I put up with it for awhile because I felt desperate to get calories into her. However, the doctor pointed out that if you restrict her calories at night and start cutting bottles out she will be hungrier during the day and begin to eat. I started by increasing the powdered formula to water ratio in her daytime bottles just a little so she got extra calories and I knew she wasn't starving, then I would feed her bottles at night that were mostly water with a little formula in them. Each night I would reduce the amount of water and powder she got in her bottle. She is now down to one bottle a night and I'm working on cutting it out. Starting solids has also helped her get more calories during the day.

I just want to point out that you should never ever do this. Using a different ratio than what is instructed can make your baby sick.

Oh man, didn't even see that. Don't do this!!!!

Just wanna echo this. That is a terrible idea and is probably messing with your little one's stomach.

OP, it should get better. We went through this stage too, around 6 months. He's doing better now. Just try to be patient with your girl and try not to compare.

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