TTC After a Loss

Hello...

New here, I've been reading for a while so just thought I should pop out of the shadows. 

My husband and I lost our first born son just over a year ago. We nicknamed him "Cruz". At the 20wk scan, he was diagnosed with a right sided congenital diaphragmatic hernia (R-CDH) and only given a 10% chance of survival. He started off really well after having his repair surgery, then spent 10 days on ECMO life support, recovered, discussions about going home happened.Cruz was eventually diagnosed with a congenital heart defect, tracheomalacia, right lung hypoplasia among other issues. He spent his 4 months here in the ICU, he had some great days and some not so great days. We live in London, so our time was mostly spent at the Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children. 
Medically, everything with Cruz was simply a series of unfortunate events and all the genetic tests came back normal on all of us. The pregnancy was hard, I had HG, eventually would up hospitalized for about 10 days on IV fluids, had FETO surgery to increase Cruz's odds of survival, developed polyhydramnios so had about 1.5 litres of amniotic fluid drained. 
We've made a lot of progress in the past year and I've finally gotten to the point of coming to terms with his death and we're slowly broaching the topic of possibly trying for another child.

Re: Hello...

  • Eliz77Eliz77 member
    edited September 2013
    I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you have been through with your Cruz. 

    This board has been a great source of information and support. I hope it helps you in your healing process. Huge ((hugs)) to you. 

    ~ES~

    ~*~EVERYONE always welcome!!~*~
    TTC #1 since October 2012
    BFP #1 11/22/12 EDD 7/29/13 MMC 1/14/13, D&C 1/16/13
    BFP #2 5/7/13 EDD 1/14/2014 Ectopic discovered 5/21/13, lost left tube
    Referred to RE, blood work done August 2013, AMH 0.27, all else normal, HSG clear
    BFP #3 12/1/13 EDD 8/8/14, MC 12/24/13
    January 2014: RE #2, blood work repeated, homozygous MTHFR c677t, SHG clear
    BFP #4 4/7/14 EDD 12/15/14 Our rainbow was born 12/6/14 at 4:26pm! <3 


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  • I am so very sorry for your loss and the expierence you have been through. I hope this board brings you comfort.
    I would caution you to change your avatar to not be the belly pic. That can be very hurtful to some of the ladies here.

    Married DH 3/14/09

    TTC Since Jan 2011
    Diagnosed with PCOS Jan 2013
    BFP#1 June 2013/ EDD 2/23/2013 Blighted Ovum confirmed July 18, 2013
    took Cytotec July 20, 2013

    BFP #2 12/28/2013 EDD 9/11/2014 Its A Girl!!! Rebecca Ann!

    Rebecca Ann born 8/31/2014 6lb 1oz 19 inches long 8:55am!!!!


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  • Oh sorry about the bump picture. I'll change it. Thanks for the welcome
  • So sorry for your loss, it definitely sounds like an emotional rollercoaster! (((Hugs))) Welcome to the board! As PP said, the blog has some great info! Check it out! I hope your stay is short and sweet.

    BFP #1: 3/23/13, EDD: 11/22/13, MC: 4/2/13
    Convinced it was a boy and missing him every day!
    BFP #2: 10/25/13, EDD: 7/3/14, Grow baby Grow! Anabelle Rose born 6/6/14 

    image     image

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic August Siggy Challenge: If Babies Could Talk
  • @mrswallick it was definitely an emotional roller coaster considering it was after he was 3.5 months when they found the heart defect and it was then I knew I wouldn't get to take my son home. Thanks to everyone. I've changed the picture but it doesn't seem to have updated yet. Sorry if I've offended anyone.
  • Welcome to the board. I'm sorry for your loss. I want to urge you to read the blog as well. It's wonderful and full of awesome info.

          THE DARK SIDE IT IS

     and GBCB

    image    


    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    imageimageimageimage
    ~All AL always welcome~

     

     


  • Welcome and so sorry for your loss. There is a great group of ladies here. Im new here myself and the TTCAL blog has been a great source of information.
    https://ttcalblog.wordpress.com/
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your son Cruz. Welcome to the board, I hope you find it helpful.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Daisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers    
      *All AL Welcome*    imageimage

  • Welcome, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Thank you for changing your avatar, as well.  

    image
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    My Ovulation Chart
    TTC since March 2012 
    BFP #1 1/29/13, EDD 10/9/13 
    MMC discovered at 10 weeks (baby measured 9 weeks) D&C on 3/16/13 
    BFP #2  CP on 3/31/14
    BFP #3  8/11/14  EDD 4/22/14
  • So sorry for your loss. The roller coaster is amazing and heartbreaking. I'm glad you've decided to join the board. ((Hugs))
    "Once you are real, you can't become unreal again.  It lasts for always." ~ The Velveteen Rabbit

    *8.3.13*  mc @ 6-7 weeks {natural mc at 12 weeks}
    *3.14.14*  mc @ 5-6 weeks DnC {blood clotting disorder discovered}
    *8.7.14* mc @ 6 weeks DnC {uterine septum removed March '14)
    *3.17.15* mc @ 7 weeks DnC {genetic testing & meeting with a new RE in Jan '15}
    *8.31.16* mc @ 8 weeks DnC {genetic testing, new medications upon next pregnancy}
    *7.17.16* praying everyday for my rainbow baby {progesterone supplements, blood thinning injections}


  • So sorry for your loss. I hope you find support here. Welcome

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal

    5 IUIs = BFN

    All AL are welcome
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  • I am so sorry for the loss of your Cruz. Welcome to the board (((hugs)))

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Welcome to the board.
    Multiple TTCAL 1image
    image
     TTC #1 since March 2011 
    BFP #1: EDD 4/16/13~~blighted ovum w/ 2 gestational sacs~~Loss on 9/18/12
    BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
    9/13, 10/13, 1/14: letrozole + trigger + TI = All BFNs
    3/14: IUI#1 letrozole/Bravelle/Menopur + trigger = BFN
    BFP #3: EDD 1/27/15 Please be our rainbow! ...Team Green


  • So sorry for the loss of your sweet baby Cruz. Welcome to the board and good luck in your TTCAL journey.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    BFP 4/17/13, MC began 5/2/13 @ 6 weeks
    EDD 12/27/13
    TTC since 2/2013
    BFP#2 9/23/13 EDD 6/8/14
     
    My FF Chart


      
        
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  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your little boy. I'm glad you found this board. Welcome. 
  • @londonmummy why did you change your avatar to another bump pic? This one isn't as in your face as the last one but its still clearly a pg bump. Ladies here are not of and it can be hurtful to repeatedly see these images without warning.

          THE DARK SIDE IT IS

     and GBCB

    image    


    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    imageimageimageimage
    ~All AL always welcome~

     

     


  • londonmummylondonmummy member
    edited September 2013
    @poppy715 taken off. Sorry those pics remind me of when Cruz was safe with me before he was born.
  • mlal78 said:

    I thought the other photo was fine.  IMO it is not different than the generic TB baby bump photo.

    It was another bump pic with the fingers making the heart sharpe over the bump.
    Now it's changed to a stock photo. I just want this to be a safe place. A bump pic is hard for lots of ladies.

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Thank you for being understanding about the avatar. I would hate for you to miss out on amazing support that is offered here because the bump pic was hard for members to look at.

          THE DARK SIDE IT IS

     and GBCB

    image    


    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    imageimageimageimage
    ~All AL always welcome~

     

     


  • Oh my goodness.... I have to be honest, your story made me cry. I cannot imagine how emotionally challenging that experience with your sweet Cruz was. I hope you find yourself at home here on the board. Welcome.

    A little bit about me...

    Married my awesome guy on 12/27/08

    DD Lucy Rae born on 11/16/2010

    Loss #1: November 29, 2012 at 8w1d

    Loss #2: June 9, 2013 at 13w (Amelia Grace)

    BFP #4: We are having a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Peter Matthew was born on July 16, 2014!!! Welcome to our family!

     

     "If anyone asks me how many children I have, the answer is 4. Just two of them live in Heaven."

    *All are welcome in my posts*

     

     

     
     
  • I am so sorry for your loss of Cruz, ((hugs)). Welcome to the board and I hope you find this a safe place, the group of women here are amazing.
    I'm 31 and DH is 36

    Started dating in 2008 and married November 10, 2012

    TTC#1 Since Oct 2012

    MC#1 5/30/2013 ~ EDD 1/4/2014 natural @ 9 weeks

    MC#2 8/12/2013 ~ EDD 4/13/2014 natural @ 5 weeks 5 days

    BFP #3 EDD 12/9/2014

    *~*~*Everybody is Welcome*~*~*

    My Ovulation Chart

    BabyFruit Ticker}
  • Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry for everything you went through with Cruz. You've found an amazingly supportive board and I hope you get a lot of support here through your TTC journey.

    TTC since April 2012

    BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013

    BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013

    6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)

    IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Canceled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab

    IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos

    IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos

    IVF #3 with PGS: 5/10/2014: Switched to FET in July. 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 healthy embryos!

    FET #1: 7/31/2014: Transferred 2 nearly perfect (6AA, 6BA) healthy embryos- BFFN

    Laproscopy: 10/2014: Healthy uterus

    IVF #4: 12/8/2014: Canceled. 17 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 10 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos



    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image

    Everyone welcome on my posts






  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby Cruz.  Welcome to the board.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     BFP 1/23/13; US 1/28/13 Perfect Peanut @ 7w! So in love!; 2/23/13 Peanut Says Goodbye; 2/24/13 Natural MC at 11w

    BFP #2: 10/5/2013; EDD 6/11/2014

     

    image  image  image   image

    The Fruit        The Countdown       My Chart    

  • I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your son Cruz.  Welcome - I hope you find the support you need to continue healing.


    image

    BFP #1 : 3/20/13 | EDD: 12/1/13 | MC: 4/15/13 

    BFP #2: 1/9/14 | EDD: 9/21/14  

    Welcomed our rainbow bear on 8/31/14

    My Chart | All are Welcome

  • I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I imagine the decision to try again is a difficult one. I wish you peace. I hope you find support here. Welcome to the group!

    TTC since October 2012

    BFP#1 1/11/13, EDD 9/19/13, M/C at 9wk6dy 

    BFP#2 11/12/13, DS born 7/28/14!

    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPicimage

    image  Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Chart

    Everyone is welcome


  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I hate to have to welcome you here. ((HUGS)) 


  • I am so so sorry for your loss.  My heart broke reading this.  Hugs to you!
  • I am very sorry for your loss of Cruz.  ((Hugs)).  Welcome.


     
     
     
     
  • So very sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.
    TTC Our Rainbow Since May 2011

    BFP#1 9/9/12 -- EDD 5/14/13 -- MMC 10/10/12 Miso 10/19/12

    BFP #2 9/17/13 -- EDD 5/25/14-- CP confirmed 9/21/13
     BFP #3
    2/1/14 -- EDD 10/5/14 -- NMC 2/10/14

    Dx: low progesterone & mild hypothyroidism

    My Chart

    4e41feae2813d8779361f4b4a13b4b 1

    image

    ~*~All AL Welcome~*~


  • Welcome to the board.  I am very sorry for your loss.  ((hugs))

    BFP#1 4/17/2013 EDD 12/25/2013, MC 5/17/2013 8 weeks 3 days D&C 5/18/2013

    BFP#2 1/20/2014 EDD 9/28/2014, Baby Evie born on 9/23/2014 at 8:50pm.  6 lbs 15 oz!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

  • Thanks everyone much appreciated :) 
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  Sending you many, many ((hugs)).  This is a great place of support and I hope your stay is short and sweet.  Welcome.
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
  • I am so so sorry for your loss.  My heart goes out to you.  Also, thanks for being considerate and changing your avatar.  Welcome to the board and I hope you feel it helpful!
    Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

    BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

    BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

    Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

    John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


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