Loss Check In

Mrs Nice · September 2013

Welcome to our checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: Do you feel like having an angel baby has changed you as a person? If so, how have you changed?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

neptunebljc · September 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I've been trying to talk about it with people other then my mom and DH. I've also been trying to start new projects and make more memories.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
I'm not sure. I guess trying to go back to work. I have some maternity leave I get but I feel like now I don't want to go back to my job and I want to do something else. I don't know...

QOTW: Do you feel like having an angel baby has changed you as a person? If so, how have you changed?
I feel like I've changed. I feel like I need to stop waiting to make decisions I've been putting off until after babies. It's made me more inspired to do things I've always wanted to do.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
I've very very nervous about this weekend. We have a weekend full of events with friends and families and I am so unsure of how I am going to react to people. I've told my DH and he said I should be ok since everyone knows but I don't know.

TwinkleTor · September 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

A step I've taken towards healing is I received some pictures of Domenik from the hospital yesterday. Instead of just putting them away with out looking at them because I didn't want to cry anymore. I looked thru them all and I even put one of my favorite pictures of him on my nightstand so I can look at him whenever I want. It's surprising how much I haven't cried and how happy it makes me to wake up to his face everyday, since I can't physically can't see him and kiss him.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

My next goal is to go back to work. It's been just under two weeks since I've been out of work and lost my baby. So going back to work is going to be a big step for me. I'm a teacher so I miss my students a whole bunch, but I've needed the time at home to heal and grieve. I'm excited to go back though!

QOTW: Do you feel like having an angel baby has changed you as a person? If so, how have you changed?

My angel baby Domenik has changed me in one way the most. I've always been one to think about the future. I always needed to plan for the future, but now I'm thinking more about just living in the moment. I don't want to some myself out by being to confident about the future. You are never really sure what the future holds for you, so just live in the moment, and try to enjoy it.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I've been trying to be the best mommy I can be to my dog Jonah Moostache! I've also thought a lot about trying to get pregnant again, losing weight, and trying to be happy despite my loss. I laugh at things I said while in labor, I laugh at how jiggly my belly is now since delivering my son. Domenik was my first child and pregnancy so everything was so new to me. But I think it's a step in the right direction to think back and laugh. I try to find some light during this time of darkness. I'm never going to forget my baby, but I'm sure he watches me and says "mommy don't be sad."

shandorfml2 · September 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Had therapy this week, and our support group. Those are always helpful
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I'm not sure. Continue to get healthy

QOTW: Do you feel like having an angel baby has changed you as a person? If so, how have you changed?Absolutely. On the negative side, I'm more pesimistic, lost my innocence, am more bitter...but on the positive side I have found out what true, unconditional love is. I've become closer with my H, friends and family. She has truely blessed us, and Ana made me a mommy.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? It's just not fair.

shandorfml2 · September 2013

mcnsher0627 said:

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
We were able to look at the pictures my mom took for us at the hospital. We are also hoping to be able to put the majority of the presents people had given us away tonight.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
My next goal is to go back to work. I will be be returning to work on Wednesday. I work with behaviorally challenging young ladies, and I'm not sure that I feel emotionally ready to deal with their problems. I will be meeting with my boss either Monday or Tuesday to discuss a possible move within the company so that I will not have to work directly with children.
QOTW: Do you feel like having an angel baby has changed you as a person? If so, how have you changed?
Nathan has completely changed me. I realize how naive I was in thinking that I had all the time in the world to have the family I want. Having and losing Nathan has brought my husband and I closer together. We are better able to talk to each other about how we are feeling, because we realize that there is no one else who can understand what we are going through better than each other. I also would like to think that losing Nathan has made me more empathetic towards other moms who have lost their child(ren). It was hard for me to understand what they were going through. Now, I have a new admiration for the moms who try again after such a devastating loss and hope that I am as strong as they are.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
My mind is pretty scatterbrained this week. At the moment, I'm just glad to be home. As we picked up my husband's parents at the airport on Saturday, our car died. It took us until yesterday to get home. Staying with my parents was hard, because every time I cried, I felt like everyone was just watching me. I know my family was trying to be supportive, but I just wanted to be alone with my husband.
I'm also glad there is a board for those of us who have suffered a loss. I really enjoyed my time on the Feb 2014 board and spent a lot of time reading there. Just knowing that there are still ladies out there to support each other, even in this extremely difficult time, is encouraging.

Please make sure you take enough time off from work (how far along were you?) to heal physically and emotionally. (((hugs)))

Doublegreen · September 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Hubby and I are talking about becoming parents and starting over again. It felt pretty damn good and it seems like the only light out of this tunnel at the moment. We kept the nursery as is and we are determined to have a child in that room by the end of next year.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

First, we are waiting to visit the doctor in two weeks to find out when we can try for another baby. I had a drama free pregnancy up to the delivery last time where I needed an emergency c-section. Lurking around the board, I found women who had to wait 6mos to a year. Right now, I'm coming to accept that time without feeling overwhelmed by my emotions.

I'm also preparing to return to work soon afterwards. I promise myself to keep a stiff upper lip around my co-workers and to do my best work. I might even pay a short visit to find out what has happened while I was gone in order to make a seamless return.

QOTW: Do you feel like having an angel baby has changed you as a person? If so, how have you changed?

I find myself appreciating my family a lot more. This experience reminded me that time is short and that the people I love can leave me at anytime, so I have to make the most out of our time together.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Besides self-torture and replaying the night I went to the hospital, I'm actually admiring how much my body is bouncing back after this pregnancy. I was a whale. LOL

shandorfml2 · September 2013

That's probably a good idea (about work). I work with kids as well, and it was a process to get comfortable again.

princezjk · September 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? After having a consult with MFM, DH and I decided to TTCAL. We are nervous, but for me this is a big step in moving forward with acceptance.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Still just taking life one day at a time and sometimes just moment to moment.

QOTW: Do you feel like having an angel baby has changed you as a person? If so, how have you changed? Absolutely. I feel like I am less naive and more aware of how quickly life changes. I also feel like I am more apt to take joy in little things, knowing that sometimes that is all there is.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Always my Izzie

Dixon813 · September 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I don't think so. Though I did register DH and I for a support group session that starts Saturday and lasts for 9 weeks.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Going to the support group!
QOTW: Do you feel like having an angel baby has changed you as a person? If so, how have you changed?
A little I think. I'm not as open with my thoughts and feelings as I used to be - I think I'm afraid to let people in...
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Yesterday was my EDD...Didn't do anything to recognize it and DH was traveling, but I have been spending the past week working on the Tree Dedication Ceremony we're having in a few weeks at my parents' house.

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