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Bad jokes and idiot men???

MarryMedicMarryMedic member
in 2nd Trimester

So since becoming pregnant for the first time I have been bombarded with stupid comments.  My workplace is 95% men and from the day I started telling my coworkers the good news I have gotten comments like, "You're gonna get HUGE!" or "Wow, you're getting fat!"  First of all I'm 16 weeks and have lost 4 pounds due to morning sickness but still have a little pooch going on.  So what gives???  Do men think that once a woman is pregnant that she is no longer considered a woman and has no feelings?  I have one that asks me weekly how much weight I've gained!  I just don't get it.  I would think that at a time when a woman is going through so many changes and could be really self conscious about her body that men would be more supportive.  It's like they did a 180 overnight.  Thankfully there are a few that have a little sense and will try to change the subject when these fools start in on me. 

Have any of you experienced this?  I'm not talking the occasional rude comment or know it all.  I'm talking about the complete personality changes of co-workers or friends.  I feel like some days they are just trying to see how long it takes to hurt my feelings.  Don't get me wrong, I have put them in their place.  I've worked around men like this all of my life so I know how to speak up and shut them up.  I just get tired of always dealing with it.  Can't we just talk about the weather???

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Re: Bad jokes and idiot men???

  • SPNfangurlSPNfangurl member
    I have a guy friend and every time he sees me (which is every other day pretty much) he comments on how much weight I'm going to gain and how big I already look (I have a small barely noticeable bump). Some guys just don't get how self-conscious we get about our bodies when we are pregnant or even when we aren't pregnant.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    I work in a predominantly male workplace too, and have heard some of the same comments (though not as many as you have probably).  I can honestly say that I'm pretty sure these comments are meant in the best possible way.    They aren't saying "you're going to get huge" or "you're gaining weight" in a BAD way.  To them, this is a natural part of pregnancy, and they may see it as a time when you don't need to focus so much on how you look and you can enjoy the ability to put on a little bit of weight.  Personally, I have found it liberating to have an "excuse" to be a little bit bigger, and not to worry so much about how fat/thin I look.   I find the "you're gonna get so big!" comments to be much less hurtful and insensitive than the inevitable "fat chick" jokes that guys like to tell when they forget I'm a bigger girl, and can hear their comments (honestly, I don't think the guys I work with realize I'm a girl half the time, so these jokes clearly aren't directed at me).

    My advice would be to ignore comments like this if they make you uncomfortable. Or if someone says, "You're starting to get big!" just say something like, "Yep, growing baby, you know...but actually I've been so sick I'm lucky if I can keep anything down these days."   Change the subject.  If it gets out of hand, and you honestly feel like they are saying these things to be hurtful, then you should speak up.  "John, your comments about my weight are making me uncomfortable.  Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean it's suddenly okay for you to make comments about my weight/size/appearance."   If it still doesn't stop, then go to HR.
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  • beachcomberbridebeachcomberbride member
    Men don't get it ... 95% of the time they aren't trying to make us feel bad, they just don't understand how to be sensitive and they say a ton of awkward, inappropriate things. Try not to let it get to you. 
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  • MarryMedicMarryMedic member
    Thank you ladies! It doesn't really make me too upset, just pissed off mostly. I've let them know in nice and not-so-nice ways that I don't appreciate it, including the "go to hell" I let out last week. HR at this place is a joke but I won't even begin to get into that. Small town mentalities rule here. Luckily after the baby gets here I can go back to my real job as a paramedic. I'm only at this job now cause of so many hazards I deal with on the ambulance could be risky for the baby.
    I just wasn't sure if this was common with everyone or I was surrounded by some exceptional idiots. Lol! :D
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  • MargaretC5MargaretC5 member
    I get similar comments from the men in my office, and some of the women (lets just not blame the men here, some women forget we have feeling when pregnant also).   I just try not to let it get to me, I honestly don't think they are trying to be hurtful, it is just the first thing that pops into their heads when they think of pregnancy.  I also have come back with "Thanks, that is what every woman wants to hear" a few times.
    I am 38 weeks now and the men now freak out that I am going to go into labor at any moment!  I actually scares them.  I look at it as a little payback for all their other comments :)
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