Working Moms
JWSchwarz
member
DC Rant: am I rediculous?
JWSchwarz
member
Deleting the posts. Thanks everyone for your thoughtful advice:)
This discussion has been closed.
JWSchwarz
member
Re: DC Rant: am I rediculous?
I would not expect him to be held much in a toddler room. Yes, if he's crying and needs comforting but not as a regular part if the day.
And I'm confused by your water/milk instructions as written here. You want them to offer water but when she says they gave water, you want to know why it wasn't milk? Are you sure you're giving them clearer instructions?
I do think its weird he can't have two sippys. My kid has one for milk, one for water. I'm not sure if that's normal at our DC but no one has given me any trouble about it.
I wouldn't be cool with the high chair or the attitude thing either. Definitely worth talking to the director about. Maybe this teacher is just too burnt out by the long days to do her best in which case they need more staff!
I think the biggest problem is what you describe as the attitude of the teacher. You need to feel good about the person that you are leaving your child with. Unfortunately I don't think talking to the director is going to change the personality if the teacher so I would start looking for something you like better.
Her attitude would really bother me. It sounds like there are possibly other things going on that don't involve you, but she should be able to dial back her anger when she's actually with the kids.
The clinginess ... that could partly be his age and the room change. We had real issues with separation anxiety at 18 months, at a lovely in-home where there were no bad vibes or recent chcange. So I wouldn't necessarily read too much into his sadness and clinginess at dropoff.
There's nothing to say you can't find another daycare that makes you feel more comfortable and try again there in elementary school if you have your heart set on the school.
But no, I wouldn't expect my toddler, in a room full of toddlers, to be held a lot through out the day.
And the water/milk thing - I'm a little confused by that. And I also think that in a normal situation (w/ a caring teacher, that is) that you need to put some trust in the teacher to know when to give drinks.
I'd would talk to the director, though, about the expectations around what drinks are supplied by parents and what is served when. Is the teacher really being an ass about it, or she is following the basic schedule that the school set out? And is it a SCHOOL "rule" that they want to limit how many sippy cups are in the rooms (2 cups per kid could be a lot....).
I would approach this in a 'fact finding' manner. Not in a "I WANT IT DONE MY WAY!" manner.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I know I responded to the other post first, but I feel compelled to respond here too. First, you are not her boss. If you want a daycare person you can boss around you should hire one. What are you going to do when this child gets to grade school? Are you going to be that teacher's boss too? How many kids are in this room? 8? 10? 20? I can about imagine what it would be like to explain to 7 other upset toddlers why little Johnny gets two cups and you don't. Or, alternatively, lets have 16 cups on the lunch table!
Now, the woman shouldn't be rough with your child... but you're being "that mom". Stop it. There's a reason the director is stone walling you. You're "that mom"!
You're kidding, right? Yikes... How dare a mom care about her child's well-being. Her LO gets a milk cup and a water cup. How on earth is that a big deal or a problem? And to be rough with a child? You might be a 'teacher' with lots of 'experience' but that doesn't make you a good one.
Edited to add that I know you weren't saying its okay for her to be rough with the child. I do think that's reason alone to find a new provider if the director won't do anything. I'm also a big believer in making sure customers are well treated in any industry.
Goodness you're taking this personally! She asked what we thought, I said what I thought. I stand by what I said, and I apologized for and explained the harshness of my tone. There is a difference between a medical issue and a person who feels entitled to have everything their way. (a trait the OP and the teacher in question seem to share.) I don't care what you think of me, because it seems that if I knew you in real life you might be THAT PERSON... so I've been tempted to stop checking this thread, but you're delivery is quite entertaining so I can't help myself. Keep it up!
To the OP, I'm sorry my honest comment turned your thread into something of a zoo. I hope you didn't delete the post on my account.
It just was the tone of your comment. This post in general really got me worked up because it is hard enough to leave your kid under someone else's care, and it is clear that for the OP, this teacher is not providing the best care possible and that makes me sad for her. So to have someone come on and attack the OP for asking for certain things to happen for her LO seems so out of place to me. That's why I got so upset. She already seemed nervous to deal with confrontation when it was clearly necessary and she was clearly in the right, and instead you tried to make her feel like it was partially her fault. A teacher needs to know how to appropriately deal with kids and parents of all personalities. So even if there was an unreasonable request, a good teacher will come up with a solution that helps make everyone comfortable or at least offer a reasonable alternative and explanation. If she can't help with two cups (again, so bizarre to me as it is a simple request and I see kids in my son's rooms with all sorts of little different things here and there), then don't make the OP out to feel as if she is being obnoxious for asking. Having bot water and milk seems pretty darn reasonable and normal. Anyhow, your tone was very harsh and 'holier than thou' and it was not necessary given the situation.
Also, my son's teachers actually don't know his medical issues related to feeding other than the fact that he is 'extra picky'. They have never asked. They just happily help us out. We try to not 'out' my son unless necessary with his medical complications so that nobody treats him differently for it since he is a bright, happy kid.
And I'm DONE!
Hmm, that was less entertaining. Oh well... again, I'm sorry you felt my tone was rude. I'm a straightforward person. I would like to point out that the way you voiced your opinions on the career choice, competence, intelligence, integrity, and general personhood of a complete stranger weren't exactly gentle and if you want to comment on my tone you might think to consider your own in doing so. I would care what you thought of my personhood if I didn't know that the parents I work with in real life adore me and the way I care for their children. I don't want to brag, but people pull strings to get into my classroom. I know you find that impossible to believe. I'm sorry for your sake that after all your explaining, I still stand by what I said. I don't mind that you'll probably see that as a personality flaw. Have a good work week.