Talk to me about weaning night feeds

botanicalbliss · September 2013

My LO is almost 4 months old. Lately, he's been waking up every 2ish hours throughout the night to eat. I am perfectly aware that he does not NEED to eat this often overnight. He used to give us at least one 4-5 hour stretch, but no more. Will he just outgrow these night feeds, or do we need to actively wean him off them? The pedi suggested sleep training, but it goes against my gut to let him cry (she was talking more Ferber than just flat CIO, but still). He goes right back down after his feeds, but it's exhausting. I'm not sure what to do. There is so much conflicting advice. I would love some longer sleep stretches, but if getting up ever 2 hours is what he needs, I'll suck it up. WWYD?

bullybutt · September 2013

NO NO NO! If he is eating, then it's because he NEEDS to. Breast milk is digested quickly and he is still SO little. My DS is almost 14 months and just NOW slowly starting to wean himself with night feedings. We bedshare, so that probably has prolonged things, but it's so much easier to sooth him or have him sleep/nurse next to me. Everyone is different, but I can't imagine having to get up, out of bed, and feed try to get him back to sleep. I'm too lazy for that, plus we both love sleeping next to each other. I'm a huge advocate on not "forcing" a child to do something that he/she is not ready for. Babies have these milestones that they must reach on their own...don't try to force something that isn't natural or that they are ready for. That's just my 2 cents.

mb314 · September 2013

This sounds like the 4 month wakeful. DS was beginning to sleep 5 to 7 hour stretches at 3 months old. And then 4 months hit, and he woke ever 3 to 4. Now, at a year, he's still waking up every 3 hours or so.

Your little one is still pretty young to think about night weaning, in my opinion. And I wouldn't do sleep training until he's at least 6 months. I would make sure he's eating enough during the day so that his belly is full at night. He may out grow this - he may be getting his first tooth or going through a growth spurt. But I would wait another few months before actively trying to night wean.

musicalmama5 · September 2013

At 4 months, it's totally normal! IMO if he's nursing, he needs to be nursing. Maybe he's hungry or maybe he needs the comfort. Either way, I wouldn't deny my 4 mo old. Mine is 6 mo and still does this.

botanicalbliss · September 2013

Thank you! He's been eating so much at night it seems mean to cut him off, but I hear from so many people that they don't need to eat at this age - they just want the comfort. We usually try to soothe him first, and sometimes that gives us an extra 30 minutes. We cosleep, but only bedshare when he is particularly restless. I feel better knowing I'm not insane for feeding him.

Mrs.AmyDylan · September 2013

First, hugs! Hope you are able to get a nap or two this weekend. Also, way to let your heart help you parent. Here is an article from Kelly Mom that really explains exactly what you are going through. Don't worry, it gets better! https://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/4mo-sleep/

blu-eyedwife · September 2013

I really think the idea that a baby doesn't "need to eat" is ridiculous. How do you know? Don't we all function differently as adults? Why would it be different for babies? I know plenty of people who need to eat 6 meals a day. Others eat 3 or 2. Doesn't it make sense that individuals needs are going to differ?

And I think this is especially true when it comes to children. Look, I'm not going to be doing any more growing any time soon (at least not up!) but kids are constantly undergoing growth spurts. And not always at the same time. My guy was always a peanut up to 6 months. In the teen percentiles. And my doctor was never concerned because he said that they all hit their spurts at different times. Sure enough, between 6 months and 1 year he had jumped percentiles into the 60s! And I think that it wasn't just based on his growth, but on the fact that many people nightwean and their kids aren't jumping percentiles, they're staying the same or going down. (Which is going to skew the charts)

My experience with night feeding was that he needed them when he asked for them, and when he didn't need them anymore, he dropped them on his own.

Emerald27 · September 2013

Here's some helpful info regarding night nursing, OP:

https://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/

PPs are right. Baby tummies are tiny, so they do need to nurse often. Night nursing also helps you maintain your milk supply.

He's very close to the age where frequent wakings to nurse are common because of growth spurts, brain development (milestones), and teething. I'd recommend nursing him on demand and getting as much rest while he sleeps as you can. This doesn't last forever, but giving him what he needs now will be totally worth it!

botanicalbliss · September 2013

Fantastic articles! Thank you! I feel a lot more confident that I'm doing the right thing.

Emerald27 · September 2013

I love to share this with mamas to help them understand how nursing on demand (though tough at times) really helps maintain their milk supply:

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