Need preschool advice — The Bump
Pre-School

Need preschool advice

Hi everyone. Sorry this is so long. I appreciate the feedback. DD turned 3 earlier this summer. She started 3 half days of preschool last year, halfway into the school year. She has also been in speech therapy for the past 6 months. We were happy with the school last year when DD was 2, but now I have some concerns. DD is not yet potty trained, so they made her stay in the 2 year old room, just until she is trained. Our speech therapist is concerned DD will regress being with the 2 year olds and really needs the other 3 year olds to model for her. I spoke to the director about this and she said it is policy that they cannot go into the 3 year old room until they are potty trained, so there is nothing they will do until she is trained. The meeting didn't go very well, and ended with the director telling me that DD is not as mature or advanced as the other 3 year olds and they will make fun of her so I should really reconsider why I am pushing so hard for her to be with the 3's. I told her I do not want DD with the 2's and will be keeping DD home until she is potty trained and reevaluate at the end of the month. We have been trying to potty train at home for 4 days now and doing very well. I could see DD possibly being ready to go back to school next month, however, I am torn about going back to this school. A big concern is that they do not have toilets in the classrooms. There is a bathroom with a few toilets down the hallway, and they take the whole class 3 times during the half day (3.5 hrs). the issue is in the 3 year old room, there is only 1 teacher, so if a kid has to go all of a sudden and the assistant director isn't near by to take them, then what? I don't want DD, newly potty trained, to be set up for having accidents that may not happen if there was a bathroom she could easily go to. It is a small school and they don't have teachers assistants or aides to help with this. Also, when they do all go, the teacher waits in the hallway and the kids all go in themselves. And they are full-sized toilets. Not so easy for a newly potty trained child. I have toured 2 other schools that we liked, and both have child-sized bathrooms in each classroom (and they both would have taken DD in the 3's room without being potty trained!), but they are more than double the tuition that I pay here. With me being a SAHM, we aren't really in a position to be spending that much on preschool right now. However, next year, for prek she can go for free to either of these schools. I am so torn as to what we should do for the rest of this year. Put DD back in current school in the 3's next month, hoping she will do okay with no bathroom in the room? Keep her home with me until she can go to the better school next year? Suck up the cost for the better school for just this year since next year will be free anyway?
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Re: Need preschool advice

  • I have somewhat of a different perspective b/c my DH is a teacher, so I thing about these things from a teacher/school's perspective. For that reason, I am usually inclined to trust that the school has rules in place for a reason. For instance, maybe they have more children in the 3-year old class and more of a structured curriculum, so it isn't feasible for them to change diapers. If they bend the rules for you, I'm sure there will be others down the road who will want the same thing, which could quickly get out of control. 

    I would also trust that their process for taking the kids to the bathroom works if they have been doing it for a long time. I'm sure they have ways to take children to the bathroom if they have to go. They are probably trained in child development and behavior and are aware that when a child has to go, you shouldn't make them wait. 

    My DD's preschool has the same rule about the 3-year old class being potty trained. When she first started there at 3, I was surprised that they had adult toilets, but all of the children used them just fine (including DD, who had only used the kids potty at home prior to that). 

    I think what you ultimately decide to do depends on your financial situation. If you can afford to keep her home until she is potty trained and that will make you more comfortable, then you might want to do that. But, if you need to put her in school then she will probably be fine at that school.

    That's just my opinion, and like I said it is probably different than most because I look at it from the school's perspective.


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  • I have to agree with Meg. It is unreasonable to expect a preschool with one teacher to change a child's pull-up or diaper and that is why they have the younger room. And honestly there is definitely a chance of her being called a baby by kids that were told they had to be trained to go into that room. And you cannot expect them to make an exception just because it suits your needs even if it sucks.

    If your child will not be ready to make it to a toilet down the hall then that school does not fit her needs. But if you want her around other kids to model age appropriate speech then you need to decide what is most important and go from there.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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