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Question for Foster Parents

IdigDirtIdigDirt member
in Adoption
I will probably ask our teacher tonight in class but just wanted to get your take first. Sorry, this may be a silly question. My family is Jewish and DH's is Christian, while DH and I do not practice a religion we go to holidays at our families to expose DS to as many religions as possible. Do you think our future FC's bio-parents would have a problem with them attending holidays of religions they do not belong to? Also if you have had FCs from a religion that was not your own did you make it a point to celebrate those holidays?
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Re: Question for Foster Parents

  • mtenderemtendere member
    We are in the class/licensing process now. I'm actually in school to become an ordained minister (Episcopal Deacon), so it was a question we've had. We have explained that we think we would be good at honoring a child's religion/culture and would in no way push our beliefs, but that the church is a big part of our lives and there would be some exposure. Our licensing worker has said that as long as we are up front it should not be a problem, but that if a parent had strong feelings about not wanting their children exposed to those beliefs/practices, they would likely look for a different home. She suggested that it would mostly be a non-issue with the vast majority of cases. Their worries about religion are when people are doing foster care As a way of evangelizing/converting "these poor lost children."
    ***************************** Our beautiful daughter was born in October 2009. Turns out she was quite the miracle. After two years of TTC, diagnosed with DOR. A couple of failed treatment cycles later, we decided to let go of our hope for more biological children and explore adoption.
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  • maryoosamaryoosa member
    @mtendere ^5 for the episcopals! I've often wondered about the process of becoming a deacon.
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  • mtenderemtendere member
    maryoosa said:
    @mtendere ^5 for the episcopals! I've often wondered about the process of becoming a deacon.
    Thanks!  Every diocese has a different procedure. we have a combination of online classes, weekend classes at our retreat center and a pastoral care project over 3 years. I'm in Year 2 right now.
    ***************************** Our beautiful daughter was born in October 2009. Turns out she was quite the miracle. After two years of TTC, diagnosed with DOR. A couple of failed treatment cycles later, we decided to let go of our hope for more biological children and explore adoption.
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  • ctbride08ctbride08 member
    We were the same scenario - I'm Christian and a regular church-goer and my in-laws are Jewish and we celebrate all the high holidays with them. It was a total non-issue with both social workers and bio mom.  We "exposed" the children to religion but certainly didn't force it upon them (they were young anyway).  And, yes, if they had come with specific religious practices or bio mom requested we practice a certain religion with them, we would have had no problem respecting those wishes.

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  • CheleChele member
    I'm Catholic and my husband is Jewish but we are not licensed yet. I'd be interested to hear what you are told in class. 
    10/27/07
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  • IdigDirtIdigDirt member
    We talked about honoring the kids racial identity in class last night (coincidence, I didn't bring it up) but nothing about religion though I would assume it would be similar. I didn't get a chance to bring it up since class was busy but I will ask at our next home study.
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  • elissaann26elissaann26 member
    I really think it is a two-way street.  As long as you are open to honoring the child's religious background, then they are okay with you exposing the child to your family's religion.  Most of the children who come into care in our area come from Christian homes which are involved with the religion at varying degrees.  DH and I are not Christian, but we have no problem keeping up Christian traditions for the children for consistency sake and to honor their birth family wishes.  For us this has consisted of reading bible stories mixed in with our other bedtime stories.  Celebrating Christian holidays.  Occasionally going to church- we don't go regularly because the birth family doesn't go regularly and didn't request for us to do so.
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  • CheleChele member
    I asked my social worker about this today. He said if we are going to my in-laws for something participatory like a seder, then we should probably mention it to the caseworker so they can ask the bio parents if it's okay (assuming the child is old enough to even read the haguddah).  Likewise I would ask permission first before taking a child to my church if they weren't Catholic. 
    10/27/07
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