It's not looking good

liz4paws · September 2013

I've got some bad news. I've been testing every morning since 4dp6dt, and my tests are not getting darker at all. FRERs are barely noticeable, and I've tried about three digitals over the past couple of days, and they continue to say NO. The wondfos are still very very light and don't even show positive during the 5 min testing window. I'm 8dp6dt and I'm really thinking I'm going to lose this pregnancy too. I've been crying all morning, and asked my RE to bump up my first beta to today so the second will be Monday and we can have closure sooner. But I doubt she will allow that. I wish she'd show some mercy. Tuesday is DH's birthday and this is going to break his heart.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

twistsandturnsto2 · September 2013

(((Hugs)))

hootie123 · September 2013

oh no

T&P's for you and your DH

luvboston · September 2013

Hugs hang in there I had very low betas that never turned a digital fx

hmz819 · September 2013

I hope your doctor will let you get your beta done early. I know it's hard but try to remain positive. ((Hugs))

Crystal120410 · September 2013

((Huge hugs)) hang in there lady. I hope this turns out positive.

rockpaperlove · September 2013

I would insist to have beta drawn today based on your history and out of consideration with DH's Birthday on Tuesday. I really hope they show some mercy and you end up very surprised with a doubling beta! Can you get a beta ordered through you OB? Good luck!

liz4paws · September 2013

I never got a response back from my email to the RE and my assigned nurse and the sample pickup time for stat blood draws ends in an hour. So I called the clinic, and got transferred to some nurse I've never talked to before. She said "I know what the protocol is, and our wishes are that you stick to our protocol. That means your first beta will be on Monday. You shouldn't have tested early."

I really wanted to be scolded today. This weekend is going to suck balls.

rockpaperlove · September 2013

liz4paws said:

I never got a response back from my email to the RE and my assigned nurse and the sample pickup time for stat blood draws ends in an hour. So I called the clinic, and got transferred to some nurse I've never talked to before. She said "I know what the protocol is, and our wishes are that you stick to our protocol. That means your first beta will be on Monday. You shouldn't have tested early."
I really wanted to be scolded today. This weekend is going to suck balls.

I'm so sorry - that is really frustrating! Hang in there! Rooting big time for you!

liz4paws · September 2013

rockpaperlove said:

I would insist to have beta drawn today based on your history and out of consideration with DH's Birthday on Tuesday. I really hope they show some mercy and you end up very surprised with a doubling beta! Can you get a beta ordered through you OB? Good luck!

Thanks RPL. I considered this, but my OB office insists on doing blood draws in-house which means I'd have to get an appointment, which I can guarantee would be nearly impossible same day (and especially early on.) Secondly, they send to CP.L labs instead of LabCo.rp which is what my RE uses. So if I were to get results today, they'd be a different lab from the results on Monday. I have heard labs results can vary and not to compare two betas from different lab results. But last of all, I don't think they order stat.

I had them order a beta or two during my last loss, and I remember not getting results for like two days. It seems I have to wait until Monday. I guess it gives us time to cope, and maybe DH can enjoy somewhat of a good birthday since the hammer wont have officially dropped yet.

rockpaperlove · September 2013

liz4paws said:

rockpaperlove said:

I would insist to have beta drawn today based on your history and out of consideration with DH's Birthday on Tuesday. I really hope they show some mercy and you end up very surprised with a doubling beta! Can you get a beta ordered through you OB? Good luck!

Thanks RPL. I considered this, but my OB office insists on doing blood draws in-house which means I'd have to get an appointment, which I can guarantee would be nearly impossible same day (and especially early on.) Secondly, they send to CP.L labs instead of LabCo.rp which is what my RE uses. So if I were to get results today, they'd be a different lab from the results on Monday. I have heard labs results can vary and not to compare two betas from different lab results. But last of all, I don't think they order stat. I had them order a beta or two during my last loss, and I remember not getting results for like two days. It seems I have to wait until Monday. I guess it gives us time to cope, and maybe DH can enjoy somewhat of a good birthday since the hammer wont have officially dropped yet.

Damn! Try to find some good distraction this weekend - hugs and love. It isn't over!!!

JSM0801 · September 2013

Oh, Liz, I am so sorry to be reading this right now. It is so unfair that you have to go through this. Sending lots of T&P's & big hugs your way!!

PrettyAccountant · September 2013

Hang in there sweetie. I hope for a great surprise on Monday. Those damn hpt 's are the devil sometimes. My heart and prayers are with you as always.
Eta - what if you just show up there? I've may have done that once or twice in my life. It is harder to say no in person. I wish the drs would have a heart sometimes.

liz4paws · September 2013

PrettyAccountant said:

Hang in there sweetie. I hope for a great surprise on Monday. Those damn hpt 's are the devil sometimes. My heart and prayers are with you as always. Eta - what if you just show up there? I've may have done that once or twice in my life. It is harder to say no in person. I wish the drs would have a heart sometimes.

Thanks, PA. Me too but my hope is circling the drain. My heart is so damaged from hope=demise last time. I wish I could find a hopeful bone in my body, but I can't seem to.

I actually get my blood drawn direct at the lab. And I actually have the order form. So technically speaking, I could just go get it drawn on my own anyway. But that now would be going against direct clinic orders, and I worry what that might mean for me as a patient. Maybe they would drop me? I fight them sometimes, but on this one I think I'll just roll over and wait. Plus the last stat pickup is in a few minutes so it sounds like we wouldn't even get the results back in time even if I did.

The whole thing sucks. Praying for a miracle though.

liz4paws · September 2013

Wow, the freakin' drama! So my RE apparently just read the email I originally sent (before I called the witch nurse who told me no) and my RE said I CAN get the beta done today. But they probably will get the results tomorrow. Fine by me. I'm heading to the lab the minute I get the lab orders. I'm saying a prayer, even though I'll bet its like a 10 or less. I just want closure.

twistsandturnsto2 · September 2013

Wow! I am glad they will get you in, even if it means waiting until tomorrow for the results. Again, many T&P to you and your H.

rockpaperlove · September 2013

liz4paws said:

Wow, the freakin' drama! So my RE apparently just read the email I originally sent (before I called the witch nurse who told me no) and my RE said I CAN get the beta done today. But they probably will get the results tomorrow. Fine by me. I'm heading to the lab the minute I get the lab orders. I'm saying a prayer, even though I'll bet its like a 10 or less. I just want closure.

Glad the RE said YES! Not a fan of witch nurse! GOOD LUCK!

J&D2007 · September 2013

Good luck on your beta today. So glad they let you get it done. The waiting is incredibly difficult. Hope you get some sleep tonight and I really hope you are surprised with a great beta! We're all pulling for you (that has to up your odds, right?)

Julie21613 · September 2013

Hang in there Liz.....there are plenty of stories of barely there lines that turn out great! I'm not giving up yet! ((hugs))

PrettyAccountant · September 2013

liz4paws said:
Wow, the freakin' drama! So my RE apparently just read the email I originally sent (before I called the witch nurse who told me no) and my RE said I CAN get the beta done today. But they probably will get the results tomorrow. Fine by me. I'm heading to the lab the minute I get the lab orders. I'm saying a prayer, even though I'll bet its like a 10 or less. I just want closure.

Glad they changed their minds - I'm still hopeful. Like Julie said - there are many stories out there and I hope yours becomes a happy story as well.

firesiren · September 2013

((HUGS)) Keeping my fingers crossed!

Ecarabeo217 · September 2013

Liz I'm so sorry to hear this...glad they got you in for your beta. FX for a big fat surprise! ((Hugs))

rlk2 · September 2013

Glad you are able to go in today and praying you have a wonderful surprise and a strong beta. (((((Hugs)))))

Sophistikitty · September 2013

I'm praying that your beta surprises you! (((Huge hugs)))

PurpleIris30 · September 2013

Hang in there - hope it's good news for you.

Mrs.McIrish · September 2013

I'm so sorry it isn't looking good. I know how hard it is to think the stick doesn't look any darker. My best advice is to stop POAS-it cannot tell you what you need to know which is the beta #. A big FU to your nurse. She's obviously never gone thru this to treat you that way. Hugs((()))

liz4paws · September 2013

Beta came back at 12. Waiting to see what Monday's beta does, but I'm pretty sure I know. Thanks for the support ladies. I'm doing better tonight.

mm29 · September 2013

Liz ((Huge hugs)))

Keeping you in my thoughts!!!!

hmz819 · September 2013

((Hugs)). Thinking of you.

PrettyAccountant · September 2013

liz4paws said:
Beta came back at 12. Waiting to see what Monday's beta does, but I'm pretty sure I know. Thanks for the support ladies. I'm doing better tonight.

Hey sweetie - I have been up most of the night thinking about you. I am sorry. I wish the beta was higher. I'm glad you are feeling better and I wish there was something I could do for you. You are always in my prayers. Deep in my heart I still hold out hope for this cycle but I know how hard it is to hope.
Huge huge hugs

J&D2007 · September 2013

I'm glad you got it done and at least now so you're not completely in the dark. I know it's low, but try to hold out some hope. I hope and pray for a big number on Monday.

BeeBee08 · September 2013

((hugs)) sorry this is suge a stressful time. I'm keeping hope even though I know it's really difficult for you to do right now. I'm praying for an awesome doubling time on Monday. We've seen it before. Hang in there.

liz4paws · September 2013

You ladies are so sweet and supportive. I am so grateful. Truly, I have found peace in this and am ready to move on if my beta doesn't come back great on Monday. I really mean that. Your T&Ps have brought us peace.

firesiren · September 2013

((HUGS))

Crystal120410 · September 2013

I'm hoping for doubling numbers for you Liz. Try to enjoy your weekend.

rockpaperlove · September 2013

liz4paws said:
Beta came back at 12. Waiting to see what Monday's beta does, but I'm pretty sure I know. Thanks for the support ladies. I'm doing better tonight.

Love and hugs.

WindyCity33 · September 2013

Oh Liz. I'm sending all the positive energy I have to you. I've been following your blog and praying for good things. (((hugs)))

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