PPD/PPA

nixieknox3 · September 2013

i just want to give big creepy internet hugs to everyone that confessed to having PPD/PPA. i had untreated PPD with my middle child and it was pure hell. you are not alone and you will get through this.

nixieknox3 · September 2013

exactly @kiraliz2 i felt like i was the worst mother ever, especially since i had the immediate bonding experience with DD1. i felt broken, alone and angry.

Karbird5 · September 2013

I was thinking the same thing. I know I had it and I didn't seek treatment and suffered for nine months unnecessarily. When I got up the courage to tell my husband about some of the thoughts I was having, he brushed me off and said everyone has intrusive thoughts now and then. I really wish I had brought it up to my doctor. If someone out there is feeling this way, bite the bullet and call your doctor!

LoveActually4 · September 2013

I also think that's a great idea and I would participate.

studyinpink · September 2013

Great idea. I had it with DD1 and it was horrible.

wiggyslilsis · September 2013

*hugs* to everyone who needs them! I don't have experience with PPD but I do think I had PPA and I definitely still have anxiety. I am much worse since having a kiddo and it isn't always parenting related stuff. Sucks.

nancy30005 · September 2013

I would love a weekly check in.

PunkyBooster · September 2013

I love this.
When I told my mom something wasn't right and what I was feeling, she dismissed me. I really had no support so knowing people are open about the topic here is wonderful.

nixieknox3 · September 2013

i love the idea of a weekly check in. DD2 is almost 5 months and most days i feel awesome, but every now and then i have a day where i just want to get in the car and never come back. growing up, my mother used to tell us she was going to do that on a regular basis and i never want my children to feel that way.

EMOmamma · September 2013

@CTGirl30 Mine came on late too, at about 10 months. I think it was triggered by DD nursing less.

I realized one day that I just didn't care. I wasn't sad, or angry, but I couldn't remember the last time I had really laughed.

BoatsNHoes · September 2013

Love this. I waited waaaaay too long to get my anxiety in check after both babies and I have serious regrets.

RichardSlap · September 2013

I really struggled after having my first, and shit hit the fan when I weaned my second. I wish that I had been more open about it and gotten help a lot sooner. It was my Bump friends that finally gave me the motivation to do it. I am also here for anyone that needs to talk, any time.

missyishere · September 2013

I second everything Richard said. I just recently worked on aiding my PPD/PPA issues, and my DD is almost two. This place has been a great support and encouragement for me to he healthy mentally.

missymo · September 2013

I was also untreated. I tried to talk to my OB about it at my 6 week appointment, but I was in such a funk that I didn't pursue it when she brushed me off. I was also in kind of in denial. When I started to come out of the fog when my child was 8 months old I realized that I should have sought help. I was miserable for those first 8 months, despite having supportive partner, and staying home as I wanted to. It was all my choice, so I felt so stupid and guilty for being so depressed. I waited until I was 30 to have a baby, so again, I felt stupid for being so unhappy.

Sometimes I feel like I am still struggling with it, but my daughter is almost 3, so I assume that's not the problem.

My mom has a number of illnesses, and she is constantly talking about them and seeking sympathy. I really hate that about her, so I do the opposite. I don't talk about it. I pretend I'm fine, even when I'm not.

insertclevername · September 2013

I am so sorry that so many of us have had to suffer. PPD and PPA are brutal. I suffered for a very long time after having DS1 and wish I had sought help sooner. Now that I am pregnant with DS2, I am somewhat terrified of experiencing it again, especially since I already have a lot of hormonal/emotional ups and downs this pregnancy. I really hope that if I do have it again this time around I will address it sooner, but the guilt and shame component makes it so difficult to reach out. If anyone ever needs to talk, please feel free to reach out to me.

nixieknox3 · September 2013

kiraliz2 said:

Whoever left that post on PS about possibly hurting themselves, please please please seek help. I beg you. Or PM me or any of these girls in this thread.

You do have someone IRL: us.

truth. i hope this thread helps you feel like you are not alone.

cedenton · September 2013

My PPD/PPA hit at almost 3 months exactly. DH started working 12 hours shifts, DS was extra fussy with everyone there for Thanksgiving and I had started weaning due to low supply. It was horrible. I immediately called my mom friends. Then some co-workers came to my aid and I started seeing a counselor. I had to shop around a bit on a good fit for a counselor and I'm so glad I did. I'd say it took about 3-4 months for me to start feeling myself from the onset.
I lost about 15 lbs during that time and dreaded being alone with LO because I was SO bored and had a lot of anxiety about his eating habits (slow weight gain, reflux) so I felt chained to the house. I NEVER want to feel like that again. I'm so thankful I got help right away. No one should have to suffer in silence.

Ardmhs83 · September 2013

I don't post on this board often, but I also have lived through Hell with PPD/PPA. I'm getting better and weaning, but still on meds 3 years later! If anyone is fearful of speaking up, please do...you will feel so much better. You don't have to feel this way, their are things and people to help you! Hugs to al the moms out there that are or have been through this.
Ugh...somebody tell me that I can possibly have another baby one day, I'm sooooo scared! I know that was a random thought, but just threw it out.

Karschingham · September 2013

Richard Slap said:

I really struggled after having my first, and shit hit the fan when I weaned my second. I wish that I had been more open about it and gotten help a lot sooner. It was my Bump friends that finally gave me the motivation to do it. I am also here for anyone that needs to talk, any time.

I could have wrote this exact thing. I remember having SO much anxiety about talking to my doctor about it and I'm soooo glad I did. I got the push from some awesome ladies here and I only regret not doing it sooner. Hugs to anyone doubting the help, it will seriously change your life.

flyingsaucer · September 2013

I actually have a very close friend that became psychotic as a result of severe PPD/PPA (untreated). It can happen. Please reach out if you are struggling. Also, it's important that everyone, not just new moms, learn to understand and support PPD. Husbands, parents, friends, should be aware of signs and take concerns seriously. My friend's husband had such a hard time accepting the fact that his wife was suffering... But once he did, he was able to help her get help. She now is totally recovered and doing well. She chose to adopt a second child and is loving motherhood with two. Hugs to anyone going through it. You are not alone. And if you feel like you need help, keep asking! Your happiness is worth it

nixieknox3 · September 2013

Ardmhs83 said:

I don't post on this board often, but I also have lived through Hell with PPD/PPA. I'm getting better and weaning, but still on meds 3 years later! If anyone is fearful of speaking up, please do...you will feel so much better. You don't have to feel this way, their are things and people to help you! Hugs to al the moms out there that are or have been through this. Ugh...somebody tell me that I can possibly have another baby one day, I'm sooooo scared! I know that was a random thought, but just threw it out.

i was so scared that i was going to have PPD again, but this time around i was okay.

BebeMakesThree · September 2013

I'm not a regular posts here- just lurking but I am interested in joining a check in. I suffered ppd with my first and am expecting another the end of December. Maybe ill get it again, maybe not. Some days I question whether I am completely normal afterward or not still. Anyway, if someone decides to host I would love to join in.

wiggyslilsis · September 2013

I appreciate everyone sharing their stories. I thought I was crazy because my anxiety was bad after I had her but it has really escalated lately. I was like how in the hell am I getting PPA at 15 months out. I have been really open about it and even told my primary care that my anxiety has escalated and nobody has really shown any concern. My DH is really helpful because we did marriage counseling last fall and the therapist explained anxiety to him in a way I never could. He needed to know that it didn't matter how rational he was being, anxiety is irrational.

Recently I had a panic attack while driving because I left a doctor appt for LO and I thought I was going to have to give her an enema and the doctor mentioned MRSA could be causing her diaper rash. He was really casual about all this but I started to panic after I left.

MrsCodeMonkey · September 2013

I had PPD with DD. My friends at the time were not supportive. Talking about spa weekends and not inviting me because they didn't think I'd want to spend the money. Sure, it sucks to hang out with someone who's depressed but you don't have to be a bitch about it. Now a friend from that old group I left behind is reaching out. I don't know if I should even bother. She actually thought another one of those women made up an abortion for attention. How can I be friends with someone like that?

Fortunately, I have made new friends. This support system has been nice too. Thank you, ladies!

Currently, I'm struggling to get past my miscarriage. My mom is trying to push me into thinking positive and not dwelling. I'm not there yet. She has good intentions, but says a lot of awful things.

I don't know what I need right now. I just wish I could forget somehow. I can't wait until the pregnancy hormones are out of my system.

smiles21866 · September 2013

I lurk here often but don't post as much as I would like. I have a 5 month old DS and have been struggling with PPD/PPA since he was born. I don't even remember the first 2 weeks of his life because I was in such a fog and so sad. My anxiety was so bad that I couldn't even pick my LO up. I would have crying episodes and panic attacks. Luckily I got in to see a psychiatrist and psychologist and was started on a couple different meds. They have helped me tremendously and I am not ashamed to share my story. We are talking about trying for a 2nd child but emotionally, I am not ready. It's nice to hear that you aren't alone. Parenting is HARD and all of our feelings are real. Hugs to you all.

SandiaPinaMama · September 2013

@MrsCodeMonkey I'm so sorry for your loss. After my mc last summer, I just had to put one foot in front of the other for a bit. It gets easier, though, I promise. The ladies on the loss boards were super helpful. Big hugs to you, and everyone here.

I think I may have PPA. I actually didn't know that was a thing until I saw this post. I only knew about PPD. I think I've had a couple anxiety attacks. Calling my Dr is on my list.

MrsCodeMonkey · September 2013

Thank you @SandiaPinaMama for the encouraging words. Time will ultimately help. I went to a kid's bday party yesterday and that was soooo hard. Kids, babies, a pregnant woman... I hope you can get help with the anxiety. It definitely takes a toll on your life.

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