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November 2013 Moms
beccaxbooxbear
member
DH keeps making me sad(long)
beccaxbooxbear
member
So 3 nights in a row we have gotten in an argument. Im supposed to be on bedrest on my left side whenever my son is sleeping or as soon as dh comes home from work so that lo can grow because my ob thinks lo isnt growing because my placenta isn't circulating blood well enough so I'm supposed to rest on my left side as much as possible and drink tons of fluids so we can possibly have good news on tuesday at our ultrasound. Well day one of fight- ds goes to bed for the night at 7. I pull out baby clothes to get 0 to 3 month sizes out to wash. I ask dh to help he says he has to make his lunch first for the next day and then he will. Then he comes in the livingroom once he's done and starts playing a game on his ipad. I ask for help again and he says Ya hold on. An hour later I finish sorting all the clothes and he never helps! I spent an hour and a half digging thru stuff and reorganizing and he didn't help So I said nothing until I finally get to relax on the couch and play candy crush to treat myself for a job well done, he tells me i can't play that game cuz i need to get ready for bed now since I wasted my evening doing other stuff. I got upset and said he should have helped me and he said he was just waiting for orders form me. I asked him to help! Do I have to hold his hand too? So I end up crying cuz he tells me I'm being rediculous, laughs in my face for my feelings and calls me a prick. I never called him any names! It was uncalled for!
Night 2- put ds down for bed, dinner is heating up. Has about 10 minutes left so i said I would take a shower before dinner is done to get it out of the way. Dh plays a game. Could have done his lunch but doesn't. Oh well. Asks me after dinner to help him With his lunch so he can get to bed. I hesitate but then say yes so once again I don't get to rest. He flips out about my hesitation and tells me I'm not allowed to help him with his lunch if I only do it for him to appreciate me. Don't know why he said that. I do it to help not be appreciated.
Night 3- got home late last night at 9 from church. I put ds down in his room and he goes in our room to change. I start his lunch and started feeling uncomfortable in my bra so i go to change and i see he is on his ipad doing fantasy football stuff. Im so mad I keep having to everything and don't get to rest like i should because he chooses to be irresponsible! I say if you choose to Do fantasy I won't be helping you with your lunch. He gets mad again and tells me that I just look for ways to be constantly miserable. My feelings are my problem and im the one causing myself hurt. So another night I fall asleep crying. Im so lost as to why he's been like this. It's almost like the more he needs to step up the more he acts out and feels like I owe him or something. Idk anyone else having trouble?I can't stop crying today. I found his bipolar meds on the counter and texted him to see if he forgot them or if they are spares and he only responds "w/e". I was gunna take them to him if he needed them but he totally dismissed me. I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!
Night 2- put ds down for bed, dinner is heating up. Has about 10 minutes left so i said I would take a shower before dinner is done to get it out of the way. Dh plays a game. Could have done his lunch but doesn't. Oh well. Asks me after dinner to help him With his lunch so he can get to bed. I hesitate but then say yes so once again I don't get to rest. He flips out about my hesitation and tells me I'm not allowed to help him with his lunch if I only do it for him to appreciate me. Don't know why he said that. I do it to help not be appreciated.
Night 3- got home late last night at 9 from church. I put ds down in his room and he goes in our room to change. I start his lunch and started feeling uncomfortable in my bra so i go to change and i see he is on his ipad doing fantasy football stuff. Im so mad I keep having to everything and don't get to rest like i should because he chooses to be irresponsible! I say if you choose to Do fantasy I won't be helping you with your lunch. He gets mad again and tells me that I just look for ways to be constantly miserable. My feelings are my problem and im the one causing myself hurt. So another night I fall asleep crying. Im so lost as to why he's been like this. It's almost like the more he needs to step up the more he acts out and feels like I owe him or something. Idk anyone else having trouble?I can't stop crying today. I found his bipolar meds on the counter and texted him to see if he forgot them or if they are spares and he only responds "w/e". I was gunna take them to him if he needed them but he totally dismissed me. I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DH keeps making me sad(long)
I'm sorry you've had a rough few days.
I obviously don't know your DH but I'm guessing (and this is a pure guess) that he's freaking out over the whole LO not growing properly thing and this is how he's handling it. And he's trying to keep from freaking out or thinking about it by playing on his iPad. My guess is he's having bigger issues with something and taking stupid little things to blow up about. When my DH gets like this I sit him down and ask him what's wrong. When he gives me the stupid reason I say "ok, now tell me what's really wrong." It seems to help. Just an idea.
Edit: I didn't notice the bi-polar part. I'm guessing that's probably the bigger issue here but I'd still talk to him.
In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be
corbinsmommy.blogspot.com
I'm sorry you're going through this, this is a tough enough time physically without the extra stress of bedrest and an uncooperative husband!
1. REST. You are sorting and lunch making while possibly sacrificing the health of your unborn child. Your doctors orders aren't a joke or optional. Lay down and grow a baby!
2. YH is a big boy he can make is own lunch if it means his baby gets extra nutrition and bloodflow.
Not sure why he's being mean, and I'm sure your hormones aren't helping you cope with his mood. however, This might sound harsh but you're both acting like children. Your number 1 priority here should be LO's growth. You can't get these days back so use then wisely. If YH wants to be an ass and call you names then you need to go into another room and let him work it out.
MMC 01/26/12
MC 12/25/12, D&C 01/05/13
BFP 03/05/13, EDD 11/12/13. HB 175 @ 9w2d. Its a Girl!
DX with EA/TEF Type C & Tracheomalaysia
MC @ 13wks 01/15/15
BFP 1/11/18, EDD 9/21/18
My dd was diagnosed IUGR due to my placenta not functioning correctly as well. Please, please take time out of the day to lay down and allow the baby to grow. Speaking from experience, I had three weeks of bed rest for dd for this exact same issue and in that time she was able to grow more than an entire pound! (which made a HUGE difference when it came to her health at delivery) It really can help to be laying down and giving the placenta time and opportunity to do it's job.
My DH had a hard time grasping how serious it was, he kept making comments about how lucky I was to be off work and while he wasn't trying to be mean, it made me feel awful. But I finally sat him down and talked to him and explained I would love to be able to up and around on my feet and still working if it meant that DD was healthy. I think maybe he needs to see how much this bed rest could help your LO. I agree with pp's that maybe he should have the DR explain it to him or even show him some stats on the issue. Once my DH realized that I was in fact doing what was best for DD, he stepped up a lot.