DS and shool adjustment

bliss611 · September 2013

I'm so exhausted and upset right now. We just put DS in nursery school (3 hours/ 3x per day) and he is not dealing well. He wasn't so bad the first week but he has been awful this week. I had to physically pick him up and take him. He wouldn't let me dress him, put his shoes on, walk. And he was hyterical when I left him. UGH!!!
At home he hasnt been eating well, or playing like his usual self...

I don't know what to do. I don't want to pull him out. I've done it once before last year because of the same issue and I feel like he'll get the wrong message - that if he cries hard enough, he won't have to go. He has to break out of his separation anxiety at some point. I really need more me time and DH and I need more time than we get because of his issues. I mean he's 3 and 1/2.
But when is it too much?

TIA!

Mrs.Hizzo · September 2013

You just have to soldier through. The second week is typically the worst. How does he do after you leave?

MrsK&Baby · September 2013

That does sound like a pretty extremes reaction he is having. Normally I would say keep forcing him, but since his reaction is so strong, maybe the opposite- would the school allow you to stay with him? Maybe you and him stay together in his room like an hour or at least until he calms down, then both of you leave. Play with him and help him participate. If he cries, you walk into the room, ignore him and start playing. See if he joins in? Then both of you leave together. The next day, try the same thing again, but try leaving once he is playing .....tell him you have to go to the bathroom or something...leave him for 30 mins, then take him home...may e after a few days like this, he will calm down. Does the teacher say he calms down quickly once you leave? If you stay and play with him he might eventually forget o are there, wander away and play just fine. I don't know...just a thought, I would have a hard time too especially if it is affecting him all day long.

littlemermaid · September 2013

How long does it take him to compose himself after he is dropped off in class? I would speak to the teacher and see how he does after he is in class. But school is an adjustment and something that they eventually have to get used to. If he is composing himself after a few minutes in class then I would just keep at it.

bliss611 · September 2013

I've tried staying but since he knows this isn't a mommy & me (because no other parents are there), he keeps crying when 'm there. He does better without me. I was told he cries for a little while and then calms down. He's still whiny and doesn't want to participate much but he doesn't scream and cry. He is crying a bit when I go back to get him but not the hysterical crying when I drop him off. The teacher doesn't seem to think it's out of the ordinary.

My intention is to soldier through it - I just didn't want to push it to the point of traumatizing him. That's why I was looking for opinions. I agree this week is probably the worst since he knows what's happening but hasn't accepted/adjusted yet. I'll definitely give it until next week to see if things start looking up.

littlemermaid · September 2013

Just to reassure you my daughter cried every morning going into preschool for 3 & 4 year old preschool. It was just her thing. She wasn't traumatized. I think it was her way of releasing her anxiety/nervousness of going to school. She is in the 5th grade now and she still experiences some sort of anxiety/nervousness at the beginning of each school year.

bliss611 · September 2013

Thanks. I think you all did make feel better that keeping him there is the right thing to do. I'll reassess in a few weeks and see if hes better - at least when I pick him up. I expect he'll be crying for drop-off for a long while

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