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Ear Piercing Doubts? (andreahshields)

ProfessorPedals825ProfessorPedals825 member
in Parenting after a Loss

When P was born, we said we'd get her ears pierced by the pedi when she was 6 months old.  Well the 6 month appointment is coming up tomorrow, and DH just suddenly told me last night that he's having doubts.  He said he won't mind getting them done later when she asks for them, even if she's only 3-4 yrs old.  He says he feels like right now we're only doing it to benefit us and not her.  I can understand that, so I've made the decision that we will not get her ears pierced if he's not okay.  So, I have 1 day to get him comfortable with this.  I know not everybody agrees with ear piercing this young, but it's just a cultural thing with my family, and I've really been looking forward to this.  I don't mind if we don't get it done, but since the appointment is made I'd love for him to feel good enough for us to do this now.  Does anybody have any suggestions on ways to convince him that this is okay? Maybe a list of benefits of getting it done early?

*** aka: andreahshields ***

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BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

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Re: Ear Piercing Doubts? (andreahshields)

  • amysworamyswor

    I had the same issue with hubby getting cold feet about me having our dd's ears pierced at 3mos. However, he said if I could come up with ten reasons to do it, he would agree. I did some research and came up with 13.

    Drop me an e-mail if you would like them. Our dd now has pierced ears

    :)

    amyswor1765@gmail.com

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  • salsa_wifeysalsa_wifey member
    I'm not much help but I wanted to say I had no idea a Pedi would pierce ears.  I had mine pierced at 5 with no regrets.  I don't have experience with pierced baby ears.  I would say your argument is the cultural reason.  It really comes down to you and your DH.  Talk it through with him and be honest about how you feel.  Listen to his reasoning and how he feels.  Discuss it and be willing to compromise.

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  • morkmork member
    I don't have a way to help you "convince" him, but I can tell you it took a while for DH to get comfortable enough for us to do it. The original plan was to do it asap (mine were pierced the day I was born), but as we got closer to birth, DH expressed more discomfort about it. So, we set new timelines, and evaluated each time. 3mo - no, 6mo - no, and at 9mo he was finally ready, and I was basically over ready.

    We had it done at 10mo, and DD did great. She fussed some when we cleaned them (2x day), but stopped even that about two weeks later (I assume when they had completely healed). We haven't had any problems, and DH is now very happy we did it.

    Perhaps you should cancel this appointment and set a new timeline. Give him some more time to get comfortable. It's a cultural thing for us, but we have to find a middle ground and appreciate both the cultures of our babies.

    As a side note for the other ladies, not all pedis pierce. I asked three during interviews, and none of them did. We went to a high end jewelry store with trained staff (not the cheap stores with teenagers), to make sure it was done correctly.
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  • ProfessorPedals825ProfessorPedals825 member
    Thanks ladies, I think he does need more time and he did mention that we can do it at the next appointment if he's not ready tomorrow.

    *** aka: andreahshields ***

    *** July Siggy Challenge - Cake Wrecks ***

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    BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
    BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
    Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

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  • JellyTwoPointOJellyTwoPointO member
    I really feel like your husband's opinion and feelings deserve more respect. This is his baby too and he really should have a say. Maybe I don't understand since infant ear piercing isn't a part of my culture, but it seems to me that when you marry someone outside your culture, there has to be give and take from BOTH parties. Plus, this isn't something that does no harm whatsoever like a celebratory party. You're inflicting pain on a baby who cannot consent to a procedure that has absolutely no benefit or purpose outside of parental preference and enjoyment. That's a big deal for a lot of people and it sounds like it might be a big deal for him.
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  • ProfessorPedals825ProfessorPedals825 member

    :)  Yeah, I figured this would be a sensitive subject.

    But like I said, if he says no, we won't do it.  He is Daddy, and I do respect his opinions.  I was just bothered by the sudden change of heart when we've been on the same page for so long.  I probably shouldn't have used the word "convince" because that's not really my goal.  I just want him to hear me out.

    *** aka: andreahshields ***

    *** July Siggy Challenge - Cake Wrecks ***

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    BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
    BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
    Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

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  • orangegogglesorangegoggles member
    I was originally going to say wait it out until she was older or your husband is on board. However after reading that it is a cultural tradition I can see your hang up with not getting them done. It definitely might be a bummer but that's the thing with blending traditions, there has to be some give and take. Maybe he will come around.

    Around here no one gets their daughters ears pierced during infancy and I had no idea a pedi would do that but I guess it makes sense so it's done safely.
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  • tetiananinatetiananina member
    My mom did mine at my 2 month appointment. I plan on doing Talia's as early as possible just for the fact that I've been told cleaning when they are younger is better. I'm definitely going the pedi route. Do you know why he's having doubts? Is there anything you can say to over come? How old were you when you got yours?

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  • adoxyinherearadoxyinherear member
    andreahshields? I hope you and your husband reached a compromise you can both feel good about.
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  • ProfessorPedals825ProfessorPedals825 member
    RusalkaSings said:
    andreahshields? I hope you and your husband reached a compromise you can both feel good about.

    Thanks for thinking of us! We did go through with it. He was given the chance to have all of his questions answered by our pedi and then he asked to see the earring choices. He said he still wasn't thrilled but he did want it done. We went with some tiny little pearl studs, nothing too shiny or sparkly. I love them and he is going to take a bit of time to get used to them. He mentioned doing it at 9 mths or a year, so he wasn't totally against it. He just got cold feet as the date got closer.

    *** aka: andreahshields ***

    *** July Siggy Challenge - Cake Wrecks ***

    image

    BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
    BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
    Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

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