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Working Moms
JWSchwarz
member
DC Teacher told me I should be a SAHM (sort of double post)
JWSchwarz
member
in Working Moms
Wow, if this isn't the icing on the cake.
I posted yesterday about my 1 1/2 year olds inflexible daycare teacher. I've been sticking around more in the morning because he clings to me for dear life when I try and drop him off. That and I want to make sure he gets settled and is taken care of before I leave.
The teacher sent home a pamphlet on 'separation anxiety' yesterday and basically told me to drop him off and leave immediately because I was interfering with his room. I reminded her that it's not her room, and that I am the parent and I will stick around for 10 minutes if I so choose. and SHE ACTUALLY TOLD ME I SHOULD JUST QUIT MY JOB AND STAY AT HOME WITH HIM IF I DON'T LIKE HOW SHE RUNS THINGS. WTF? That is just a cheap shot. Who says this?
I obviously told the director, but I asked her not to tell the woman she knew this. She is one of the 'founding' daycare teachers so I know they are tight and I don't want it to be taken out on my son somehow. I hate to change schools because of one stupid woman but really how do I just lie down and take this ridiculousness?
Unfortunately, it is a parochial school so they are exempt from state licensing, or i would just bail and report them for every mishap i've been documenting over the past year.
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Re: DC Teacher told me I should be a SAHM (sort of double post)
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
I'd switch daycares if you need to in order to escape that teacher, but you should consider her (badly phrased) advice.
This is what I want to know too.
And at this stage, it's best to say a quick goodbye, Mommy will be back soon, and leave. BUT, if the child is having a hard time, the teacher to be there to quickly distract him.
All of this.
I went through drop off crying most days with DD1 from 13 months until 2 years 4 months. It's tough, but I knew me hanging around wasn't helping anyone. In fact, it probably gave DD1 false hope that I was going to stay with her for the day, making my actual departure that much more tramatic.
The teachers and I had a nice routine. I'd walk DD1 into her room, hug and kiss her, tell her sweet things--love you, you'll have a great day playing with friends, etc--then would pass her to the teacher to hold and distract. Sure she cried, but I love her teachers and knew she was in good hands.
Second, I disagree that a short-drop off is always best. I think kids are different. For my sons if my DH does drop off it's a quick in and out. If I do drop-offs they got clingy. However, if I stayed just long enough to read 1 book they were totally fine. So we had an agreement, no crying and then they get to have me read one book to them. So maybe you can try to find a way to distract him or engage him in an activity that will have him excited to stay.
It sounds like this teacher has poor communication with parents but I wouldn't switch centers over that. Dd had a teacher that didn't communicate very well with me, she always made me feel like she was blaming me if dd misbehaved (pushing kids, throwing tantrums, etc. normal 2yr old behavior). But dd seemed to like her and was actually very upset when she moved up to the next class. I know that DS will have this same teacher next year. I can deal with it b/c I know my kids are happy and well cared for. There's always going to be one teacher you don't like no matter what school you choose.
What she said is truly offensive.
A more accurate statement is she needs to work on relating to parents better and quit thinking she knows everything.
Our school, as a general rule, also emphasizes that quick drop offs are best when you're kid is going through separation anxiety, and there is a lot of literature to support that, but if I insisted on hanging out, I would expect the school to respect my approach as the kid's mom.
While I agree hanging around is not doing anyone any good. Quick goodbyes are generally better even if there is tears.
When looking at all the other things that she has said have happened and then adding her rude comment, I just wouldn't okay with leaving my kid there.
Not only that, but if it is a parochial daycare and doesn't have to comply with state licensing and isn't monitored by the state, that would be a complete deal breaker for me.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
This woman sounds like a peach, but you're the one who is out of line here. I've been working with children birth to six for nearly ten years and I can pretty much promise that he stops this behavior as soon as you leave. I have seen hundreds of kids do this exact same thing. I'm also familiar with "that mom". I promise you, you're a "that mom". If you said this to me "I am the parent and I will stick around for 10 minutes if I so choose" I'd send you home with a pamphlet too. Yea, it's your kid... but I promise she has MUCH MORE EXPERIENCE with kids than you do. She knows what she's doing, let her do it.
Also, it can take up to a month for a child to adjust to a new room. You need to loosen up a little, and give it some time and realize that yea, it's your kid but it is HER ROOM. She's responsible for x number of other children and she can't treat yours like it's the only one. If you want your kid raised in an exacting manner maybe you should stay at home, or get a nanny.
I have faith everyone can be adults in the situation and that it will blow over. I haven't actually said anything to the teacher that I think is even borderline rude and I assume this is not her first parent conflict. I am extremely flexible which is why this is all so absurd. Most moms would have gone straight to the director to get her fired.
Also, while it is probably easier on your son to leave quickly, it is hard as a parent to walk out if you feel uncomfortable about the environment you are leaving your child in! Plus, they need to respect you as a parent and everything about their approach is utterly disrespectful. We are encouraged to come in and stay as long as we want at our center. I do try to get out quickly rather than prolong crying, but nobody would ever ask me to and I'd be ticked off if they did! It's still MY kid!
Everything you have described is enough to change schools.