Third-Party Repro Check-In - (9/16/13)

2MamazInSeattle · September 2013

This weekly check-in is for anyone using/considering or who has used a 3rd party method of reproduction, including: Donor egg, donor sperm, embryo adoption, gestation carrier, or surrogate - also Donors, GC's and surrogates as well!

Hello all! What a big week it was! FX for everyone in the TWW!

Check-in: What's new? How is your husband/wife/partner holding up?

QOTW: Every generation tries to do a little better than the last. What improvements do you hope to make on how you were parented?

Thanks all!

Welcome

janapettus - Embryo Adoption - Welcome to you!

CageyMack - DS for baby #2 (partner is carrying) - in TWW, POAS on 9/25!

((Hugs))

strudel82 - Sorry for the tension with your IP's. It'll work out - but no fun

New BFPs & Other Good News!

Lacyj67 – DE IVF#1 - Official BFP!! Congrats on a great second beta!!

KateBee – Gest. Surrogate – At-home BFP! ET of two embies on 9/5/13! FX for a great beta!

QOTR - Surprise BFP! Congrats & FX for a sticky baby!! Keep us posted if you continue with a DE frozen cycle.

In the TWW!

Scorpgirl1120 - IUI#3 on 9/6 - in the TWW! We're all hoping for you!

orangemell2012 - DS on 8/31 - Good luck!!

Meck716 - DS - IUI #1 will be between Aug 28-31.

poohniki – DS; natural IVF. SET on Sept. 10th!! Beta 9/19!

Stinkerbell6879 – Fresh DE IVF - 2 transferred on Sept. 11th!! Beta 9/20ish!

Liz4Paws – Embryo Adoption; 2 Embie-FET Sept 12!! Beta 9/23!

Goalieswife123 - ICI#2 on 9/11, 9/13 - in TWW! FX!

Currently Cycling/Scheduled

amcastord - DS - IUI#1 in mid-Sept.

2MamazinSeattle - DE/DS - FET #2 on September 23rd!!

Km672 – Fresh DE/DS; Fresh transfer expected btw 9/28-10/1!

Firesiren – DS – consult was 9/5.

ArgyleBridge - Egg donor - Stims mid-Oct and ER early Nov!

Waiting to Cycle

BeckyP005 – Fresh DE; waiting for donor availability.

Brooklynesque – DE IVF #1 - New donor likely to start mid-October cycle, ET in Nov.

DoublePortion – Embryo Adoption; selected by a donor family with 5 embryos to give!

Faithita – DE - On the RE waiting list.

GetwickMom – Searching for GC - banking frosties due to MFI, hoping for ET ~Sept. 2014!

Jen12573 – Embryo Donation - Receiving 2 donor embies! Mid-October transfer!

Katie_71208 – DE – Reviewing donors! Appt. Sept. 25th.

katmarso - DE with known donor planned. Welcome to you!

klaganza – DE - In process of choosing egg donor.

Ladyrader0227 – DE FET after reduction of BMI ~Aug/Sept.

laurag1986 - DS - IUI#5 coming up!

lmieloci1 - Consult with CA Conceptions in August, pre-cycle testing now.

Meljam13 – Using traditional surrogate (using OS) after Oct.

mm29 - DE; Started process at SDFC in July 2013.

QOTR - DE - Pre-cycle activities; surprise BFP so may not move forward with DE.

Sammer 818 – Gestational Carrier; New agency said GC match should be mid-Oct!

sam18iamiam - DS - IUI#2 on 8/14 was BFN. Next steps tbd.

Donors/GC’s/Surrogates

Strudel82 – GC - EDD 1/15/14 - Gender ?

ArgleBride – Egg Donor – ET set for mid-Sept!

BabyEdgar - DS single mom - Interested in donating remaining embryos.

Pregnant!

JM1977 – DE/DS – EDD 10/9/13 – Boy!

Firefly062 – DS - EDD 10/10/13 – Boy!

IndianaSunshine – DE – EDD 11/20/13 – Boy!

Melkel559 – DS – EDD 12/10/13 – Boy!

Happywifemomofone – DE – EDD 12/23/13 – Boy!

Kaf8278 – DE – EDD 12/31/13 – Gender ?

Moonaggie – DE – EDD 1/2/14 – Boy!

Jms1374 – Embryo Donation – EDD 1/14/14 - Boy!

Strunella – DE – 1/28? - Gender ?

Udc22 – DE – EDD TBD – Twins!!

Aputter05 – DS IUI on 5/30/13 – EDD TBD.

BabyVDM – DE FET#1 – Twins! - EDD 3/20/2014

LittleLady77 – DE IVF - Twins! - EDD 4/10/2014

Parenting

AmCheri – DE – Baby born June 5, 2013 – Girl!

Hooliface – 1 year-old DD from DE

Jcath – 20-month-old identical twin girls from DE + 2 bio sons

JM1977 – 21-month-old DD from DE/DS (also currently pregnant)

Strudel82 – 1 year-old DD twins from DE (also currently GC)

WeBelieveInMagic – 10-month-old son from DS + a 3-yr-old bio son

Considering Third Party

sharon216 - Considering DE

amcastord · September 2013

Getting close!!!! Natural IUI with DS just around the corner. I've been testing with OPK since Friday morning, but not expecting a surge until tomorrow or Tuesday. Even though I wasn't expecting it until then, I've been crazy, worried that I won't surge at all.

Just when I was REALLY starting to panic, BAM! cervical mucus showed itself. It's not clear and it's not stretchy, but we're on our way!!!

Expecting IUI with DS to be Tuesday or Wednesday

GL to all cycling and in the TWW!!!

ArgyleBride · September 2013

We have a lot of posters in the TWW--good luck to all!

Nothing new here. Continuing on BCP for now. I like my new nurse a lot better than the old one--she is much more accessible and a better communicator.

poohniki · September 2013

To pee or not to pee, that is the question?

Ugh! Story of a TWWer. I know my beta is super soon, but I'm still itching to know sooner. This time around I'm scared of negative tests- so if I'm feeling brave, I'll try in the morning.

Really nothing else going on. Good luck and FX to everyone else in the TWW!

QOTW: This one is kinda easy- I'm the first generation to have a driver's license, own a home, graduate college, and not live in a crowded city. That alone means that I'm better prepared and have more choices available to me. Although, my mom did rock for raising two daughters who are professionals and who own their homes. In that respect, I don't think I could ever top my mom- she is the reason my life is so much easier than hers was.

BeckyP005 · September 2013

Good luck to all in the 2ww and big hugs who need them.

Update: I FINALLY have one!! DE coordinator called today and said that there might be 3 potential donors available depending on which ones the 2 couples in front of me pick. She told me to call her back on the 3rd..18 more days but who's counting..to see where we are and if AF comes then call to schedule labs, physical and another sono. She might also put me on BCP's. I can hardly stand this. My stomache is a bunch of nerves and excitement wrapped in one. She said the earliest I can cycle is around Thanksgiving. I can't believe this is really starting to happen.

QOTW: My parents were never comfortable on communicating or showing affection so that is one thing I would change for me with my child. There were not a lot of I love you's even though I know they did but just didn't openly tell me. I will also not use the "wooden" spoon...lol.

amcastord · September 2013

I missed the QOTD

Answer: EVERYTHING!!!! I'm prepared to break generational curses that have gone on for far too long. I think I'll start with hugging my kid(s), and telling them they're doing a fine job, no matter what it is for. My mom still, to this day, corrects me or nitpicks everything I do...why did I get a ladle to put the pancake batter in the pan, duh! she put it in the square "bowl" so it could pour out of the side...REALLY? That kind of thing, I'll never do.

BeckyP005 · September 2013

@amcastord...I totally forgot about the nitpicking!! Thanks for reminding me on more habits I won't do...lol

MrsT4 · September 2013

Hi ladies,

First, I want to extend my sincere thanks for all of your support after my most recent failed cycle (DE FET #1). You ladies are the best and I can't stay away too long, as I appreciate the mutual love and support this board offers.

I'm very excited for the upcoming betas and for those transferring very soon - good luck to everyone!!

AFM, I got my period exactly 1 week after my negative beta. Even though I could have started BCP's right away and got on the October calendar, I decided against that. Maybe I'm being superstitious, but I've already cycled the past two Octobers and neither cycle was a success (one BFN and one chemical). I also have my official WTF appointment scheduled for the end of this month, so the earliest I can cycle now would be November....and I'm still undecided about that. I'm so terrified of losing my last two frosties, yet I'm only getting older so part of me wants to cycle ASAP....I'm still kind of a mess, ugh.

QOTW: I hate to say it, but part of me doesn't want to think about it, as I'm facing the reality that I may never get to become a parent. However, my experience is similar to BeckyP...my husband and I constantly express our love for one another, which is sooo unlike how either of us grew up.

Edited to add: BeckyP, I'm so excited to hear your update!!! I'm very excited for you, after such a long wait, another 18 days will surely fly by (I hope)! Maybe we can be cycle buddies!!

jms1374 · September 2013

@MrsT4 don't feel bad for wanting to wait to cycle again. I felt that I was running againsta clock also, but coudn't bring myself to jump into another cycle after a failed cycle/chemical pregnancy. This is such an emotional and mentally draining process--giving yourself time to heal and prepare can only help you in the end. Good luck for when you do decide to jump in again.

Update: BP back on track. Besides that, just lots of movement and enjoying that (except the whole kicking the bladder thing..lol).

QOTD: my parents grew up very old school and felt children were here to help work the farms (my dad, especially). He never wanted girls and never let a day go by without letting my sister and I know that (we were the oldest). We have since gotten past this, but I will NEVER, EVER make my child(ren) feel as if they were unwanted. As much as I have forgiven my father for how he treated us, I will never forget how that made me feel and the damage it did to me growing up by never feeling good enough for anything.

Km672 · September 2013

Hi ladies!!

Poohniki- I'll be thinking about you a lot over the next few days!

Becky- omg!!! This is such exciting news!! You are almost on your way!

MrsT- take as much time as you need to take care of yourself. After all you have been through, I'm sure you are very physically and emotionally worn out. I wish this could be easier

Update: still moving forward... My lining check is Saturday. I bought a bottle of POM, it can't hurt!

Had a major meltdown when I got home after bloodwork Friday. It feels very strange to not have either of our genetics involved this time.

He reassured me that we made this decision for a reason, because we have no reason to believe it would work otherwise. Still, it's been very hard.

I'm so very fortunate to have the support of my H and the ladies of this board.

Qotw: my dad did a really great job raising me and my 2 other sisters on his own. I have absolutely no idea how he did it, he is my hero. But, I grew up without my mother and that has always been a loss in my life. I plan on cutting down to 2 twelve hour shifts a week (I'm an RN) to be home as much as possible. I want to do so much with them and would be very lucky if it works out this way!!!

ArgyleBride · September 2013

poohniki said:

To pee or not to pee, that is the question?

I had to tell you, this made me laugh!

Oh and I forgot the QOTW: I will never have my big marital fights in front of my kids. But to be honest, I would be really, really pleased if I were able to parent exactly as well as mine did. They set a high bar.

firesiren · September 2013

POOHNIKI!!!!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and saying a little prayer!!!:

Becky; FX for continued good news!

MrsT: Negative Betas are so hard. I'm so sorry. HUGE ((HUGS))

Well, I'm getting closer. I have an appt on Oct 1 and my cycle should start that week. I have been contemplating postponing everything. DH's work is turning him into a major butthead and I don't think I want the stress whiling doing our last hoorah.

QOTW: Just being present in my child's life is a step up from anything either of my parents did. They still haven't shaped up.

Lacyj67 · September 2013

Love all the great updates from you ladies!!!!
Me just waiting for my ultrasound on sept 25th and nitpicking every symptom! Some days are more than others but I'm super hopeful and can't wait till I can see what's really going on in there!! As for DH I can tell he is stressed and a bit scared but he's very excited asking me lots of questions about baby stuff!! It's cute!
Qotw: I always had live in nannys because my dad traveled alot and was out of the country and my mom owned a salon and was there alot! I would like to be there raising my kids with little to no help! But I love my parents and there values are spot on and I would teach my kids like they did!

liz4paws · September 2013

Hi Ladies!

I'm 4dp6dt today. I have read many women get BFPs as early as 4dp6dt, so I went ahead and secretly POAS this morning. DH would kill me if he knew I did. Of course it was a BFN so I'm sparing him of his reaction to it, which wouldn't be a good one. I'm not letting it upset me since it's super early. I was having cramps on and off (mostly off now) and my boobs hurt like crazy, but it's probably the PIO. I really hope this worked, but I have this overwhelming feeling it didn't. And I felt that way before POAS though. I hope I'm wrong.

QOTD: I grew up in a very religious household in a very religious state. I felt like the culture was one where you were either 100% involved in the religion or you were considered an outcast. I hated that because I wasn't completely on board with the religion. My parents finally came to their senses and realized that I could be a good person without being super duper religious. Anyway, I hope to give our children a spiritual foundation, but I will love and support them no matter what path they choose. I'm glad I don't live in that state anymore. ;-)

GoaliesWife123 · September 2013

Good morning! Sending thoughts, prayers and hugs to anyone that needs it (good or bad!)

As for me, DW and I managed to get three ICI's in this cycle. My temp spiked today, so I'm hoping that means I O'd yesterday and that would make it so we hit O-4, O-2 and O. We have our fingers crossed for this month. I saw a ton of positive tests as well as a "peak" reading on the CBEFM Friday and Saturday. CM was clearly EWCM, too. My fingers are crossed!

As for my DW, she is good. The first BFN for us was tough, but we got through and we are hoping to get through this cycle as well. We're hoping to not overanalyze everything this time. Fingers crossed. She is dealing with a fractured foot from an on-the-job injury, and we're just trying to get her better since hockey season just started and she is her team's goalie.

QOTW: Every generation tries to do a little better than the last. What improvements do you hope to make on how you were parented?

I want to be present. I want to be involved. My parents didn't come to things like band concerts or marching band, and when they did, they made me late or were blah about it. It carried into college where they rarely showed up and if they did, Dad slept through most of the events. I also want to be a healthy influence for my child on every level.

firesiren · September 2013

liz4paws said:

Hi Ladies!

I'm 4dp6dt today. I have read many women get BFPs as early as 4dp6dt, so I went ahead and secretly POAS this morning. DH would kill me if he knew I did. Of course it was a BFN so I'm sparing him of his reaction to it, which wouldn't be a good one. I'm not letting it upset me since it's super early. I was having cramps on and off (mostly off now) and my boobs hurt like crazy, but it's probably the PIO. I really hope this worked, but I have this overwhelming feeling it didn't. And I felt that way before POAS though. I hope I'm wrong.

QOTD: I grew up in a very religious household in a very religious state. I felt like the culture was one where you were either 100% involved in the religion or you were considered an outcast. I hated that because I wasn't completely on board with the religion. My parents finally came to their senses and realized that I could be a good person without being super duper religious. Anyway, I hope to give our children a spiritual foundation, but I will love and support them no matter what path they choose. I'm glad I don't live in that state anymore. ;-)

Hang in there!!! I'm cheering you on!!

sammer818 · September 2013

Check in: Not too much new here. We are doing some research into other fertility clinics at the moment, but I haven't had a great response to my inquiries, so we are probably just going to stick with the one we are currently working with. Other than that, we are just waiting to hear the final results of our psych eval.

QOTW: I just want to be more active with my child. My parents were amazing, but they aren't physically active people. Being an only child, sometimes vacations and weekends at home would get kind of boring because I was basically on my own for things like bike rids and playing outside. Since we are going the surrogate route and will never be able to afford doing it twice, I am pretty certain we will have an only child as well...and I want them to have all the play time and outdoor fun that someone with siblings has.

melkel559 · September 2013

Hi ladies!

Poohniki and Liz, my fingers are triple crossed for you!!! The waiting part is the worst!

Firesiren, so happy to see the ball is rolling for you! I can only imagine how anxious you must be to get back on the horse. You're getting close now!

And as always GL to all the ladies cycling and hugs to those in need of them!

As far as me, I went in for an ultrasound this morning which was recommended by my doctor at last week's appt after I measured on the smaller side. Turns out, baby boy is just fine and growing right on track. I am 27 weeks 5 days today and he measured at 28 weeks 0 days. Dr said everything looks perfect so I am very relieved! He said it is just the way I am carrying which is fine by me as long as baby is getting what he needs. It was a great chance to get some more pics and to see our little guy.

Q: This is kind of tough, I really hope to raise my children as my parents raised me. I guess the only thing that sticks out is that my mom was a little too pushy with me when I left for college as far as coming home for visits and stuff. If I didn't come home at least once a month, I would get a guilt trip and even to this day, we can't go too long without visits without this happening. I think it's because I am an only child and am adopted, they struggled so much to get me in the first place, etc..I can relate to how she felt about not wanting to let her baby go but I am going to hopefully treat my children differently and not be so suffocating. I always thought if she backed off, I'd want to visit more. I just hated feeling obligated to.

stinkerbell6879 · September 2013

(((HUGS))) to those who need them and it's crazy how much is going on! So GL and FX for those of us in TWW and getting ready to cycle!

I think my DH holds up WAY better then me during this time :-)

Q: I think I would let me kid have a little more, not a lot but a little more, freedom then I did as a kid. My mom was super protective etc...so it made it so when I was old enough I did stupid things that I more then likely would have not done if I was allowed more freedom as a kid. If that makes sense? lol.

LIz (((HUGS))) I secretly POS and it was BFN 4dpt and 5dpt. So here is to hoping that things turn around ASAP!

BeckyP005 · September 2013

@liz4paws...@stinkerbelle6879 and @Poohniki

FX for all 3 of you!!

orangemell2012 · September 2013

It's been a rough few days, today is CD2 and am pretty bummed. We are really not sure what is next. We do know we are taking a month off since I have travel scheduled mid cycle at the end of the month. I am going home to have a big glass of wine tonight.

QOTW- I am living a very different life from my parents, that's a huge change to start!

melkel559 · September 2013

orangemell2012 said:
It's been a rough few days, today is CD2 and am pretty bummed. We are really not sure what is next. We do know we are taking a month off since I have travel scheduled mid cycle at the end of the month. I am going home to have a big glass of wine tonight.

QOTW- I am living a very different life from my parents, that's a huge change to start!

HUGE hugs, I am so sorry this cycle was a bust. Maybe a little break this month is what you need, physically and mentally. BFNs are just so hard. GL as you figure out next steps and in the meantime enjoy your wine!!!

2MamazInSeattle · September 2013

I'm just truckin' a long with lining check on Wednesday 9/18! FX all is well for the FET a week from today!

J holds up just fine, she mostly just hates seeing me suffer through the physical stuff but knows we will adopt if this doesn't work and is ok with it all either way.

QOTW: The fact that J & I are in love is a big step/improvement as my parents hardly liked each other, much less showed love. Also I want to be sure my kid feels good enough - that they know the difference between trying hard, honest failure, and that it doesn't mean they are a bad person!

JM1977 · September 2013

2Mamaz - Wishing you all the best at your lining check!

amcastord - You are getting so close! Best wishes with everything!

Beta vibes to poohniki and liz4paws. Hope you both get wonderful news.

Hugs to MrsT4 and orangemell2012. BFN's are so hard, and you will know how to proceed at the pace that is right for you.

Yay to BeckyP005 for an encouraging update - you have waited long enough!

Best wishes to Km672 - I think there is a special type of loss/adjustment involved in not having either person's genetics passed on to your children. It was definitely a lot for us to process, but we have no regrets now and just feel like a normal family. I hope that for you as well!

Update: 36w5d, plugging along. My cold wouldn't go away, so I saw my primary care doctor today. She thinks it's developing into bronchitis, so I'm on an antibiotic and also a prescription cough syrup which should help me sleep.

QOTW: Wow, this is a good one - really made me think. My parents argued quite a bit in front of us and also talked about money problems. Those things were both really distressing to me, so I don't want to repeat either of those. My parents were very supportive of me through college and graduate school, and that has made a huge difference for me, so that will be something important for us to do for our kids as well.

firesiren · September 2013

((HUGS)) to you orangemell.

Km672 · September 2013

@JM1977,

Thank you for the reassuring words.
It means so much to hear that in time, we will probably feel like a normal family; that's all we want!!

Hope you are feeling better and you're able to rest comfortably!!!

amcastord · September 2013

Update!!!

IUI was Monday morning with DS. Went perfectly and doc said I was ready..cervix was open and I had tons of EWCM! YAY!! Officially in the dreaded TWW, so there ya go. I had to go immediately out of town for work and have been playing catch up at the office all day.

FX these swimmers do their thing!!!

scorpgirl1120 · September 2013

Checking in: took my preg test this morning and its bad news again

. The nurses were even confused because of all my symptoms. Taking some time off. This process is putting me on emotion overload. Next step is ivf...if we even decide to keep trying.

BeckyP005 · September 2013

@orangemell and @scorpgirl. So very sorry. Big hugs to you both

orangemell2012 · September 2013

Just catching up with everyone, sending you all a big hug. I know this is such a hard process and I think about you all often!

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