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please help my wife

Landon814Landon814 member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
hi everyone my wife and I are have a disagreement on one thing she is ebf and does not think she should pump milk and freeze it but I am trying to tell her that sometimes your supplies run out and if she has already gone a month with out storing any im not sure how long we will have bf for she has only let me give him two bottles to this day he is one month 2 days im at work 7 days a week while she stays at home can you please give us some wonderful insight to help us both out thanks so much
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Re: please help my wife

  • JaysonandKristinJaysonandKristin member
    You tell her, "Honey, if there's ever a time that you think you want a break from overnights or even a break from having to feed LO during the day, I'm going to need a BM stash to pull from.  I'd like to help if you want help."

    After that, you listen to what she has to say.  If she doesn't want to pump, she doesn't want to pump.  You leave it at that.

    Sometimes, your supply does tank, sometimes it keeps up until your kid weans at 2 years old.  You can't possibly know which situation your wife will fall into.  There's no need to worry about it at this point.  If she's nursing on demand, and isn't experiencing any supply issues at this time, there's no need to suspect she'll ever have supply issues.  
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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    It's not something she has to do. Pumping won't keep a supply if she's nursing often enough.
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  • mittensonkittensmittensonkittens member
    It's not recommended to start pumping and introducing a bottle to EBF babies until around 1 month of age. That gives her supply time to regulate, and the baby time to get established at breast feeding. If she is a SAHM and EBFs, then she doesn't have to have a supply of milk in the freezer. It might be handy for emergencies, but it's best to not rely on supplementing from the freezer stash too often because that can disrupt the supply/demand breast feeding relationship. If she gets sick and her supply drops, a hungry baby nursing frequently is the best way to bring it back up. I work full time, so a freezer stash is important in case I need to travel for work, if I spill what I pump, etc. if I was a SAHM, I'm not sure if I would bother. If you want to go out and leave the baby with a sitter for a few hours, she can just pump a bottle before you leave. But at the same time, frozen milk IS handy for emergencies. The other night I was sick with a stomach bug and was throwing up all night. When my baby woke up to eat in the middle of the night, I was in no condition to leave the bathroom, so it was awesome that I could just ask DH to defrost some milk and go feed the baby while I puked.
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  • CelticWifeCelticWife member
    If she nurses every time baby is hungry then she is fine. It is more likely that her supply would tank if she was giving more bottles. (You have to pump around the time baby eats a bottle to maintain supply. You can skip a few here and there, but not many.) You don't NEED a freezer stash.

    That being said, she might consider making a freezer stash in case she gets sick or injured, and has medications that aren't compatible with BF. She also might like a date night at some point soon.

    Personally, I hate pumping. It is a lot more work and I feel like a cow. I have breast fed two children past one year, and this baby is going strong. I will be starting my freezer stash soon, because I want a date night every few weeks with my hubby.
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  • jmo866jmo866 member
    As long as she is nursing regularly, she does not need to pump and freeze. It is nice, so you can give her a break, if you do not wish to give him formula as an alternative. I am not a fan of pumping and so haven't started to build a frozen stash at all. Every woman is different in her choice, but it really depends on how regularly she will be nursing once your LO starts eating solids and how long she plans to nurse. It's not a dire issue, but I agree with pp, express that you just want to help her out, but otherwise leave it to her. It really is taxing and just adds another thing to do, when she'd probably like to just relax. I always feel like just nursing instead of giving a bottle then pumping just cuts out the middle man. One step instead of two.
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  • JasmineeelizabethJasmineeelizabeth member
    Please help your wife with what? She sounds like she's doing just fine. If she doesn't want to pump there's no reason that she has to. I know someone who never once pumped and breastfed 3 kids for a combined total of 6 and a half years.

    She only 'let you' give your baby 2 bottles?? I was told to wait until 6-8 weeks to introduce a bottle by my LC, and to wait until that time to pump if I wanted to save a little extra. Pumping too early can lead to oversupply which can lead to a host of issues.

    If my husband told me I need to stock pile my milk because he's worried my supply is going to tank, I'd be pretty pissed. Have some faith in your wife's body.

    Giving bottles and missed feedings is what usually causes a drop in supply any way. It's not like she's going to work and needs to pump and introduce a bottle.. Just let her decide on this one.
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  • Lelo2006Lelo2006 member
    Jasmineeelizabeth said:

    Please help your wife with what? She sounds like she's doing just fine. If she doesn't want to pump there's no reason that she has to. I know someone who never once pumped and breastfed 3 kids for a combined total of 6 and a half years.

    She only 'let you' give your baby 2 bottles?? I was told to wait until 6-8 weeks to introduce a bottle by my LC, and to wait until that time to pump if I wanted to save a little extra. Pumping too early can lead to oversupply which can lead to a host of issues.

    If my husband told me I need to stock pile my milk because he's worried my supply is going to tank, I'd be pretty pissed. Have some faith in your wife's body.

    Giving bottles and missed feedings is what usually causes a drop in supply any way. It's not like she's going to work and needs to pump and introduce a bottle.. Just let her decide on this one.

    Getting your period can cause a major tanking in supply. Having faith in his wife's body won't stop her from getting her period. They should communicate more on the subject; he should approach it from the standpoint that he'd like to feed the baby too.
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  • JasmineeelizabethJasmineeelizabeth member
    lalvillar06 said:
    Please help your wife with what? She sounds like she's doing just fine. If she doesn't want to pump there's no reason that she has to. I know someone who never once pumped and breastfed 3 kids for a combined total of 6 and a half years.

    She only 'let you' give your baby 2 bottles?? I was told to wait until 6-8 weeks to introduce a bottle by my LC, and to wait until that time to pump if I wanted to save a little extra. Pumping too early can lead to oversupply which can lead to a host of issues.

    If my husband told me I need to stock pile my milk because he's worried my supply is going to tank, I'd be pretty pissed. Have some faith in your wife's body.

    Giving bottles and missed feedings is what usually causes a drop in supply any way. It's not like she's going to work and needs to pump and introduce a bottle.. Just let her decide on this one.
    Getting your period can cause a major tanking in supply. Having faith in his wife's body won't stop her from getting her period. They should communicate more on the subject; he should approach it from the standpoint that he'd like to feed the baby too.
    Introducing bottles will cause her to get her period sooner. Not to mention her supply hasn't regulated yet, most LCs don't recommend pumping or bottles until after 6 weeks. From the sounds of it this is an ongoing disagreement, and she really does not want to pump. So he's come on here trying to get us to say that he's right, when there is no 'right' way to make breastfeeding work. Like I said I know someone who never pumped and breastfed for 6 years, and I know someone who feels most comfortable exclusively pumping. Woman should be deciding what works for them.

    The title of the post is "Please help my wife" He wants us to help her to agree with him. I don't. It's her body, her decision.

    There's no reason that he should expect to be able to feed the baby this early, especially when the breastfeeding relationship is still being established. There are a million other ways to bond with the baby that don't require a tired new mom to do even more work. DH gave Max a bottle once while I was home and it was a PITA. I had to pump 20 mins for 3oz, and then store the milk. And it's not like I got a break when he fed it to him because I still had to pump while he was eating so I didn't affect my supply. Waste of time.
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