Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
nschuetz01
member
Re: NEED ADVICE- naps- are schedules a must????
We do this, and whereas DS nurses at all different times of day, his naps are pretty regular. He typically is ready for a nap between 11 and 12. If we've had a particularly active morning, sometimes he'll nap earlier. He'll nap a little later if we've had a relaxed morning.
Are your LO's nap times at all predictable? If you know he naturally is sleepy/ready to nap at a certain time of day, maybe you could ask his caregivers to help him nap at that time.
I would be beyond upset if they had let DS CIO. You might want to meet with his caregivers to discuss what you expect from them sleep-wise, and suggest some gentler ways to help him fall asleep (e.g. rocking him to sleep). If they're concerned about having to care for other children at the same time, would they consider wearing him in a carrier? If they're not willing to help him adjust to napping at daycare gently, you could look for a new daycare.
It's also really common around a year for babies to fight their naps more. DS still has phases where he'll actually ask to go "night night" every day at naptime and bedtime, and then he'll go through phases where he is super tired and grumpy but cannot fall asleep. I lay with him and nurse on and off sometimes for nearly an hour trying to help him go to sleep. Thankfully, those phases aren't as common for us as easy sleep.
When he's having trouble going down for a nap, I try to stay very quiet with him and even if I can't make the room dark, I explain that this is time for sleep, and I don't let him play or get out of bed. I also try to keep him laying with me. The more still and quiet I can keep him, the faster he'll settle, nurse and fall asleep.
Good luck! It really sounds like you're doing everything right, and that daycare needs to shape up.
It's not likely a problem for you to continue nursing to sleep, because children adjust to different caregivers' ways of doing things. If he's with mama, he'll want to nurse to sleep. With daddy or a sitter, he's fine with being rocked to sleep or walked in a carrier until he falls asleep. So your LO can nurse to sleep with you and do fine with another caregiver's method.
As far as nursing to sleep, both of my kids grew out of this gradually by still nursing at nap time and bedtime but just until sleepy. DD took longer (she is my #1 sleep fighter) but when DS was a young toddler he started to sit up and point to his crib after a few minutes of nursing.
With naps before 1, we were much more interested in watching cues than what the time on the clock said. And for the most part, our daycare did the same. He moved on to 1 nap a day at 11 months at daycare, at a set time, and they had no problem keeping him busy until that time. At home, he would fall asleep in his food if we tried to keep him up till after lunch, so we stuck with 2 naps, watching his cues. Eventually the two (home and daycare) synced up in terms of time, giving us a schedule of sorts. He eats lunch and goes down for a nap sometime between 11 and 1. (variable depending on if we're out, when he's hungry for lunch, etc.)
At the same time, he's on a "schedule" in that he takes a nap during that time period. No ifs, ands or buts. And we try to make sure we're home within that window (or somewhere he can nap - in the car going somewhere, in a carrier, in a stroller). Because as his mom, I'm the one that deals with his cranky, crazy, overtired self if he doesn't nap. And if I let him "decide" we'd get into that overtired period you're discussing where it becomes increasingly difficult to get him down.
Bedtimes are a little more structured for the same reason. I'm not a giant clock watcher, so it varies (last night he was asleep by 7 because he was sick and napped poorly during the day) but I know if we don't get him asleep by 8, he's going to be really difficult, overtired, and not sleep as well.
My toddler on the other hand is older and we do have some thing scheduled. We do homeschool preschool for a few hours a day. Plus things like meals, snacks, "quiet time", and bath all scheduled in. I'm doing this now to help her get used to how things will be in 2 years with school though (or less if we get into a private preschool). At 3 I think it's expected to have a little bit of a schedule down, but I'm flexible with it.
The only thing that I have a schedule for that I follow is cleaning. If I don't then all goes to hell. LOL. Goodluck!
I tried to make his environment as sleep-friendly as possible leading up to his usual nap times and I was amazed how quickly he put himself on that schedule. It ended up being a 2-3-4 sleep schedule; he stuck to it for over 9 months, when I went back to work full time and he went into day care.
We had a bit of a struggle at that point, because his age group schedule only allowed for one nap a day. However, his providers are fantastic and will lay next to him and rub his back if he has issues falling asleep. We're going on 6 months of daycare and he is a phenomenal, scheduled napper. Overnight sleep is a totally different beast.
~ Married 10.30.04 ~
DS1 born 12.31.11 ~ DS2 born 2.4.14
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info