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Bad for Daddy

pnutgpnutg member
in May 2013 Moms
I've posted before about my son crying while alone with my husband. Well, it's now 2 months later and still going on. H is supposed to watch DS on Thursdays while I work, but he either spends all day at his parents' house with the baby or his mom comes over to babysit and he works. I understand his hesitation to be alone with C because he literally screams the majority of the time, but he's great for me and his grandmas.

I think we discovered the reason he cries for H. He gets overly tired and for the life of him my husband can't get him to sleep.He tries doing what I do, he tries doing what feels natural to him, etc, and no dice.

He screamed for 2 hours this morning while I ran errands and now im home and he's asleep in my arms. Anyone else have this problem? Can your husbands get your babies to sleep?
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Re: Bad for Daddy

  • botanicalblissbotanicalbliss member
    Yes, but not as efficiently as I can.  It's hard to let them find their own way, but they have to learn.  If he's feeling frustrated, maybe offer some pointers, but don't if he'll get offended.  I also find that if we are frustrated while trying to get him to sleep, it takes longer.
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  • CarolineEmmaCarolineEmma member
    my husband i actually better Bram sleeping than I am. I always wake him up after MOTN nursing to put the sleeping baby back in the PnP because whenever I do it Bram wakes up. I hope with time your baby will sleep for your husband. That must be frustrating.
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  • bhjones1980bhjones1980 member
    CarolineEmma said:
    my husband i actually better Bram sleeping than I am. I always wake him up after MOTN nursing to put the sleeping baby back in the PnP because whenever I do it Bram wakes up. I hope with time your baby will sleep for your husband. That must be frustrating.
    Mine is better than me too, he just puts him down and BAM he is asleep, he fusses more for me.
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  • pnutgpnutg member
    Maybe I should make him a list of pointers so when he gets flustered he will have something to refer to.
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  • pnutgpnutg member
    Shantxtell said:

    I told my husband this-
    When you are frustrated, she gets frustrated. Put her down, leave the room, and take a minute to calm down. Remember she's a baby and doesn't understand why she's crying either.
    Calm begets calm.

    I've tried to explain the same thing. Babies definitely feel frustration. I know that's probably 50% of the problem.
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  • PumpkinAndThePeanutPumpkinAndThePeanut member
    My husband gets V to sleep by wearing her. She takes most of her naps on him on weekends. And he winds her down for bed at night that way.

    He gets E to sleep by rocking and singing to her. As long as she isn't still hungry, it works well and she goes down easily.
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  • jayro10jayro10 member
    linegirl313 said:

    My H is quick to give up and take the easy way out--- the swing.

    Yep. Same here.
    IF he ever tries to get her to sleep at night (read: when I hand her over to him and leave him no choice) he will bounce/rock her for 60 seconds and then put her in the swing. I told him he has to stick with it-- sometimes I bounce her for 15+ minutes before she's out cold-- but in his expert opinion babies should just pass out right when their parents want them to. It's so frustrating. I want him to figure things out himself and develop his own methods, but that's never going to happen unless he actually tries.

    No advice, just commiserating. :(

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  • jedimindtrickjedimindtrick member
    We used to have the same problem. Then I went back to work. And he found his way. I had the "be calm" talk with him, and I think it helped. The over tiredness was the issue too, and DH has found his own way to soothe him. In fact on Sat LO wasn't going to sleep for me at nap time. So I had dad do it. He was asleep within ten min. The two of them have really hit their stride and are enjoying each other. I had to just let him find his way. DH is very perceptive though and figured LO out quick. I think your husband needs to spend less time with help and just figure lo out. Good luck.
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  • pnutgpnutg member
    Thanks for the advice ladies. I typed out a schedule with suggestions today. Hopefully this will help him not get flustered!
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