Baby Names
NerdyLucy
member
What do you think about a second middle name that is the mother's last name?
For example, let's say my name is Lucy Harvey (neither are my real names, but they fit the criteria). I chose Harvey because, like my real last name, it's a name that can be a last name or a first name.
J (let's say his name is Joe Bueller) and I have been together for almost 12 years, but we're just now getting married at the end of October, and I'm not changing my name. I will remain Lucy Harvey and he will still be Joe Bueller.
Here's what I'm wondering. If we have children, we will likely choose for them to have his last name. I know that we can hyphenate our names so that the children have both last names (Harvey-Bueller), but I'm afraid that can be a hassle for them later.
Instead, we were thinking that maybe the children could have my last name as a second middle name. I know that double middle names can still be a hassle, but most people I know with double middle names simply drop the second one if there is an issue on a form or something.
My last name as second middle name vs. hyphenated last name
NerdyLucy
member
in Baby Names
What do you think about a second middle name that is the mother's last name?
For example, let's say my name is Lucy Harvey (neither are my real names, but they fit the criteria). I chose Harvey because, like my real last name, it's a name that can be a last name or a first name.
J (let's say his name is Joe Bueller) and I have been together for almost 12 years, but we're just now getting married at the end of October, and I'm not changing my name. I will remain Lucy Harvey and he will still be Joe Bueller.
Here's what I'm wondering. If we have children, we will likely choose for them to have his last name. I know that we can hyphenate our names so that the children have both last names (Harvey-Bueller), but I'm afraid that can be a hassle for them later.
Instead, we were thinking that maybe the children could have my last name as a second middle name. I know that double middle names can still be a hassle, but most people I know with double middle names simply drop the second one if there is an issue on a form or something.
On some level, I think I prefer the look of the hyphenated version, but I also know that if we go the double-middle-name route, it's easier to drop the Harvey if needed. Something about the second middle name feels more versatile to me.
I guess my questions boil down to:
What would you choose? Double middle name or hypenated last name?
Generic examples might be: Sarah Jane Harvey Bueller (Sarah Jane Bueller) vs. Sarah Jane Harvey-Bueller
If anyone here has this sort of name (either type), what are your experiences?
Do you have problems or issues with software, forms, etc?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My last name as second middle name vs. hyphenated last name
Oscar born October 2011
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)
DD due September 1, 2014
Love the idea of doing a double middle with your LN.
Congrats on getting married!
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
@Darbie914 I have considered it as a single MN, and that would work fine for a boy, but I don't like it as a single middle name for a girl as much. Also, we would probably use the first mn as a way to honor other family members. It's still a possibility though.
@Helenahandbasket Thanks!
@WashingtonQueen and @Empireceo Back when I used to teach, we had a couple of computer programs that would give us issues with hyphenated last names. One was the general record keeping program, and the other was for grades and assignments. We may have happened to have the only two to ever give trouble over that kind of thing, but that's a big part of what I want to avoid.
@Scarlett&Gatsby We've both been (periodically) referred to by the wrong last name for years now. I get called Mrs. Bueller and he's called Mr./Dr. Harvey. If it's someone we'll probably never see again, like a hotel clerk in another city or something, we don't even bother correcting them. Neither of us are really bothered by that, but having children does complicate it all a little. This is partially why I like the second middle name option. I don't really mind being the odd one out if it would save hassle in the long run (that may accompany hyphenated names).
I've had issues with my drivers license, credit cards, insurance, medical files, college apps, school records, and a million other things because so many forms don't accept hyphens in names.
Also, people are bloody idiots. Trying to spell my last name out over the phone to company reps or doctors offices has been such a pain. You wouldn't believe the amount of people that don't understand that a hyphenated last name is legally considered one name. Or that a hyphen is a "dash". Or that a dash is "the key to the right of the zero key on the keyboard.... Yeah the one that looks like a horizontal line".
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with it anymore.
K. Sorry. End rant.
Oscar born October 2011
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)
DD due September 1, 2014
Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017
TTC #1: February 1, 2014
BFP #1: 2/21/14 EDD: 10/31/14 (my birthday!) MMC: discovered 3/31/14 (blighted ovum) D&C: 4/3/14 at 9w6d
TTC #1 (Round 2): May 16, 2014
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"Everybody wants to be happy. Nobody wants to feel pain but you can't have a rainbow without the rain."
With our little girl on the way, I've been having some internal debate as to whether I should follow through with legally hyphenating my last name so that I share it with her but I must admit that I am leaning against it. DH hasn't brought it up at all and I think he's totally fine with whatever I choose. In any case, she'll take DHs surname so I'll be the out-group; however, I think I'm okay with that... We live in a progressive area where it common for family members to have different names. We also travel a lot and have roots where this is normal. Plus, as we debate FN & MN choices, it gives me a bit more say as well as reason to use a family name for a MN if it works (though we mostly agree thus far).