Who else doesn't have their after baby work plan figured out?

ErinE683 · September 2013

I'm planning to go back part time, but because I'll most likely be in a different situation, I don't think I'll really know until baby is born. Right now I work doing HR and staff training at a grocery store. I plan to tell them I'm coming back to work, which is true, though I'll most likely change positions when I get back. My current role is full time, and the days and times I work change every week. I don't see how I'll manage daycare when I work a different shift every day, and DH works in the opposite directions and his long hours would not be convenient for always picking a kid up. Plus, he makes significantly more money than me, so we're just not messing with his job when baby comes.

Overall, I plan to go back part time (two days a week?), with one of those days as a weekend where DH watches the baby, and one day getting a babysitter. Because I'll completely change roles/teams/pay rates to make that change, I feel like I can't talk about that plan too much before I leave for Mat leave. I want my short term disability and paid time off to all be at my current rate of pay, so it seems the best way to get that is to just stay through the whole pregnancy as if I'm sticking around. I'll be stepping down when I return, and hopefully switching locations, which makes it easy to find a new position when the time comes. I do think I'll put out a couple feelers before I go, saying, "I plan to come back, but I'm still working on finding childcare. Do you know of options if I need to switch to PT?". My dream is that they'll find a PT position on the regional team, where I could keep a relevant job and decent pay, but most likely I'll be wrapping cheese and selling beer, like I did before I moved up into my current position. DH and I will just be tightening out belts either way, but I think it'll be worth it!

Wow, that was longer than I expected! I think I'm stressed that a lot of people already have their plan for what they'll do after baby comes. Who else is like me, and feels far from having that figured out? Extra points if you can make it longer than my rambling post

stephcrosby09 · September 2013

I agree! I currently work part time (not by choice) and am just waiting for the baby to get here before I start looking for something new. My husband and I do the same thing in opposite directions, about 30 minutes. Last night I got home at 11pm and he probably got home around 7pm. I was not expecting to get home that late and we never know what will happen sometimes. I am just trying to pray about it and not be fearful. Also, with working part time and night hours I feel like I should either work FT or not work at all because I would practically be paying for child care with my paycheck. So much for getting my masters...

It will work out in the end.

ellajune2012 · September 2013

I plan to go back to work, but ideally I would LOVE to be able to go down to 4 days a week - enough hours that I would still get benefits, but less than I do now. That being said, not sure work will go for this, so I might not be able to do it.

I have the good benefits so leaving work is not really an option for us. I'm not looking forward to the huge chunk of paycheck going to daycare though. I'm still trying to convince my mom to watch baby at least 1-2 days a week.

novelblessings · September 2013

I thought I had things figured out but I am unsure now. I am currently working FT but it is 45 minutes from home and in another county. DH works FT and is close to home but works very long hours. The plan has always been that I would find a job near home before we had kids but I had to wait until I got my full license (social work), because it makes it easier to change jobs (I got lucky in my current position). Well that didn't happen but I will be able to apply for my full license by the time LO arrives.

I would like to work PT near home but I don't think that is possible. My plan right now is to look for something FT near home once baby gets here, hopefully. If it doesn't work out I am fine working here until I find something close to home. I'm just afraid I will want to quit and stay home. It will somehow work itself out.

jwls84 · September 2013

We are going to wait and see our financial situation. I have a year off so we have lots of time to think about it. Ideally I would (we would) love to see me stay home with the kids! This past year has been so hard for me to leave my son. I can only imagine how hard it'll be to leave 2.

mah0113 · September 2013

You're not alone in your confusion!! I graduated law school in June, was studying for yhe bar exam in July and was supposed to start my job search right after the bar in August and hopefully begin work in Fall. I found I was preg in July while studying, by August I had terrible MS and I knew I couldn't interview for anything (!!!) and now I am just plain confused (plus I still have ms).

Nobody is going to hire a pregnant woman first of all, but even if they do, I am not sure i want to be in a position where I get 3 months maternity leave and have to go back right away. I kind of want to just hold off on a job search until next summer BUT by then I have a one year gap in my résumé after graduating. People will wonder what the hell I was doing for a year---they will likely ask me why I wasn't working and saying "I was having a baby" probably is not a good answer!

So confused.

katykatykaty · September 2013

mah0113 said:

You're not alone in your confusion!! I graduated law school in June, was studying for yhe bar exam in July and was supposed to start my job search right after the bar in August and hopefully begin work in Fall. I found I was preg in July while studying, by August I had terrible MS and I knew I couldn't interview for anything (!!!) and now I am just plain confused (plus I still have ms). Nobody is going to hire a pregnant woman first of all, but even if they do, I am not sure i want to be in a position where I get 3 months maternity leave and have to go back right away. I kind of want to just hold off on a job search until next summer BUT by then I have a one year gap in my résumé after graduating. People will wonder what the hell I was doing for a year---they will likely ask me why I wasn't working and saying "I was having a baby" probably is not a good answer! So confused.

I think that's a fine answer. Many places would rather not hire you while you're pregnant and would rather wait until after the baby comes. I'm an attorney and took 18 months off after I had DD, and my current employer didn't ask any questions about why I chose to stay home for that long. It might be a little harder for you since you don't have any prior work experience, but I still think it's possible!

Shobb414 · September 2013

Right now I'm in a situation where if I go back part time I will pretty much make enough money to pay for day care any that's about it, plus I'm not exactly thrilled about sending to a day care here in Illinois! I can't wait until april 2015 we are moving back to where our families are and we will have my mom or aunt babysit for next to nothing. I won't be stressed about it nor will it cost 838827373$$

MeganFrench120389 · September 2013

I'm currently unemployed and looking for jobs has been insane. I know that a lot of places may or may not hire me because in pregnant (even though they legally can't discriminate). At the same time, I'm almost at the point in my pregnancy where my best options would be doing odd jobs or something to make some extra cash. I also thought about telecommuting, but that's a whole other thing.

Sanibel21 · September 2013

I have no idea what we're actually doing. I need to go back to work but may be able to cut back to three days. None of our parents are willing to help. Daycare is expensive and I'm full of anxiety about that. A friend I just told yesterday said she could watch LO and I would want to pay her something but I worry about any awkward situation coming up. I just don't know.

*Naea* · September 2013

I really have no idea either. I'd love to be able to transition to something new once I go on leave for this LO. I finished my MS a year ago and have done nothing about it because we were so focused on getting and staying pregnant. I've been in the same company for 10 years, but it is very small and I am capped out professionally on where I can move within it. I don't need benefits, so I suppose I could consult and scale back on hours. Sigh. I just want to be closer to home or at least away for less of the day. My commute each way is almost an hour.

angelsnight · September 2013

My plan is very up in the air and will depend on how this pregnant goes. I've only got 6 weeks STD/FMLA, and I am high risk. If I should need any of that for bed rest during my pregnancy, I will have no time left to take once the baby comes.

So the worst case scenario, I am on bed rest for 20+ weeks, use my 6 weeks FMLA and then essentially lose my job because they cannot hold it for me forever. I've accepted that that is a possibility. If that happens, i'll take at least 12 weeks once the baby comes, and then either consider going back to my job if they have a place for me (but it's a bummer that my seniority would go back as if I am a brand new employee, I've been here over 8 years), or start looking for a new job.

Best case scenario, I don't need any bed rest, so I can take my six weeks once the baby comes. However in that case, I would see if I could take an additional two or three weeks unpaid because I just can't fathom leaving my baby at six weeks.

My dad will be the full time babysitter, which we appreciate like crazy. But I feel so awful about sticking him with this (he's excited, but I know it will get old) for the next 4-5 years till the kid is in school. Longer if we decide to have another....so my long term plan is hopefully find MH a better paying job with benefits, so I can either find something part time so my dad isn't stuck with our kid for 50 hours a week, or start teaching online so I can work around when LO naps and/or when MH gets home to watch LO.

ErinE683 · September 2013

angelsnight said:

My plan is very up in the air and will depend on how this pregnant goes. I've only got 6 weeks STD/FMLA, and I am high risk. If I should need any of that for bed rest during my pregnancy, I will have no time left to take once the baby comes.

So the worst case scenario, I am on bed rest for 20+ weeks, use my 6 weeks FMLA and then essentially lose my job because they cannot hold it for me forever. I've accepted that that is a possibility. If that happens, i'll take at least 12 weeks once the baby comes, and then either consider going back to my job if they have a place for me (but it's a bummer that my seniority would go back as if I am a brand new employee, I've been here over 8 years), or start looking for a new job.

Best case scenario, I don't need any bed rest, so I can take my six weeks once the baby comes. However in that case, I would see if I could take an additional two or three weeks unpaid because I just can't fathom leaving my baby at six weeks.

My dad will be the full time babysitter, which we appreciate like crazy. But I feel so awful about sticking him with this (he's excited, but I know it will get old) for the next 4-5 years till the kid is in school. Longer if we decide to have another....so my long term plan is hopefully find MH a better paying job with benefits, so I can either find something part time so my dad isn't stuck with our kid for 50 hours a week, or start teaching online so I can work around when LO naps and/or when MH gets home to watch LO.

How big is your company? I think it's any company with 75+ employees that has to comply with FMLA, and it gives you 12 weeks. For a lot of people, their STD is only 6 weeks for a regular pregnancy, but complications mean you'd qualify for additional STD pay. Still rough if you're on bedrest for a long time, but that is a medical condition that should still be qualifying for the STD. Yes, after 12 weeks you would run out of FML and lose your position, but you should qualify for STD for the duration that you need it. Does that make sense? If it's a healthy pregnancy and non-complicated birth, you'll get paid STD for 6 weeks, but if you need to be off more for medical reasons, then you get covered for longer. You should call your insurance or talk to HR for more details... though hopefully you don't need the bed rest! Either way, FML is 12 weeks total, for any 12 month period. I hope that helps!

ErinE683 · September 2013

Ladies, I'm so glad I asked this! I knew I wasn't alone, but it stresses me out when people are already posting about picking daycare or what they'll be doing after. I admire them for having a plan together, but I know for me it'll have to wait and be sorted out during my 12 weeks of FML after baby is born. I do feel it'll work out how it's supposed to, so I just have to trust the process, and know DH and I will figure it out one way or another! We've been broke in the past (bought our condo a little early, then a job loss and one of us back to school lead to some lean years), so I know we could survive again without the cushion we currently enjoy!

wearebirds · September 2013

Ideally I'd get to be off the whole 12 weeks and go back part time. I may be able to stay off the whole 12 weeks, but I already know I'm going to have to go back full time, at least for a while at first.

Eventually, the plan is for me to run my own business and be home most days. Hopefully this happens sooner rather than later.

ErinE683 · September 2013

Shobb414 said:

Right now I'm in a situation where if I go back part time I will pretty much make enough money to pay for day care any that's about it, plus I'm not exactly thrilled about sending to a day care here in Illinois! I can't wait until april 2015 we are moving back to where our families are and we will have my mom or aunt babysit for next to nothing. I won't be stressed about it nor will it cost 838827373$$

Any specific reason you're wary of daycare in Illinois? That's where I live, too. Are you just not thrilled about daycare in general, and moving home will fix that, or are you not thrilled with something like standards in this state? I don't plan on doing daycare, since I'm going to try to work part time, but I'm curious what your concern is...

JerseyBella · September 2013

I have no freakin idea what I'm doing.

jfb29 · September 2013

I work part time (20 hours per week). Right now I'm doing 4 five-hour days. I'm lucky bc I can change my schedule to 3 days a week if I want to. I need to discuss all of this with my boss. I'm not scared to or anything bc I know she will support any decision I make (I work for an extremely family-friendly nonprofit). I probably will go back to work in June but haven't decided yet...I'm just overwhelmed with finding childcare bc quality is extremely important to me.

Excitedmum35 · September 2013

I'm not sure what ill be doing really either. I'm the one with the higher paying stable job, DH works casually ATM. He has applied for some more permanent jobs and will hear back soon but they don't have huge pay cheques. So depending on what DH is doing and whether my employer can accommodate me, I may go back to work after six months. If not ill be definitely going back in 2015 I'm just not sure what time fraction.

Want a personalized experience?

Who else doesn't have their after baby work plan figured out?

Re: Who else doesn't have their after baby work plan figured out?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards