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NWMR - Interesting "introduction" to new neighbor

*sparky**sparky* member
in Working Moms

A new family moved in across the street this weekend.  Husband, wife, three kids.  They are the back lot of a flag lot, so their house sits back off the road, behind the house directly across the street from us.  They have a long driveway that comes out to the street between two houses that sit in front of theirs.  So last night I am heading into my house from the back yard, and I see the new guy is on the phone at the end of his driveway, at the edge of the street.

As I turn the corner into my garage, I hear him yell "Shut the F--- Up!  Just shut the F--- up!"  He proceeds to continue yelling, so I decided to be nosy and lurk in the garage for a few minutes.  Based on what he was saying he seemed to be yelling at an ex-wife.  He used some choice words, like calling her a stupid bitch and throwing f-bombs a few more times.  It was so loud I could clearly hear him across the street and in my garage.  My house sits at least 50 feet off the road.

I am assuming he was outside and all the way at the street so his kids could not hear, but once I went upstairs to get DS ready for bed, I could still hear that he was out there yelling from inside my house with the windows closed, although of course I could not understand what was being said.  He was out there for at least 45 minutes or so, yelling the whole time.

Anyway, this is the first new family that has moved in for at least a couple of years, so I was going to go over this weekend to introduce myself and welcome them to the neighborhood, but now I am thinking maybe I really don't want to know these people.  WDYT?  Am I judging unfairly or would you stay away?  Obviously I have no idea what the backstory is so maybe I shouldn't judge but at the same time now I feel really weird about this guy.

 

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Re: NWMR - Interesting "introduction" to new neighbor

  • jf198400jf198400 member
    I would have no desire to be friendly with them. I'd be polite if I met them in passing, but I would not go out of my way to get to know them.
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  • 82Sonia82Sonia member
    I probably would have called the cops to report a noise violation . Screaming obscenities, especially when there are kids in the vicinity, is not cool with me. :|

     

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  • *sparky**sparky* member
    82Sonia said:
    I probably would have called the cops to report a noise violation . Screaming obscenities, especially when there are kids in the vicinity, is not cool with me. :|

    I thought about that but honestly was a little in shock and not sure what to do.  Fortunately my DS was inside because he was a little under the weather.  Normally in the evening we are outside shooting hoops in the driveway.  Had we been out there last night I would have had to take him in.

    I feel better about not wanting to go over there anymore - I really don't want to get to know this guy.  I do feel bad for his kids though.  Whatever is going on, it seems like a bad situation.

     

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  • Karla CSKarla CS member
    Personally, I would probably still make the effort to go over and introduce myself. You don't have to be friends with him, but you could be neighbors for years to come. He may not have made the best first impression, but I still think it's important to start things off on as good a foot as possible.

    Plus, you never know, it could have been a one time thing and even if it's not, he probably didn't realize how far sound was traveling. I know our neighbors across the street didn't realize how well the sounds of their arguments traveled until it was brought up to them, and they've made an effort to keep it down ever since.

    Either way, from the sounds of things, you don't live in a neighborhood with a lot of short-term residents, so it might be best to bite the bullet and be neighborly with him. If he's a jerk even after meeting them, at least you tried.
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  • BeachBum73BeachBum73 member
    I'd probably be afraid to introduce myself but you also don't know the whole story so I'd give him/them the benefit of the doubt. My husband's ex (mother of his son) has driven my dh to yell like I've never heard him before so I have some sympathy if it was indeed an ex-wife - maybe it was her, not him?  As far as the yelling...my son can be stubborn and refuse to get out of the car and I've lost my cool many times.  In those situations, I'm not thinking about how loud I am but later I cringe when I can hear neighbors just talking.  I imagine that I was being pretty loud.  Maybe it's the same situation - he wasn't sure how loud he was being.  I'm just saying that we all have our not-so-great days and I would hate to be judged because of them. 
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  • *sparky**sparky* member

    @BeachBum73 - that is a good point.  I think I will just keep my distance for now and see if there are any more incidents before getting too neighborly.

     

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  • SparkySharkySparkySharky member
    I wouldn't go, b/c I'm an introvert and hate doing that stuff. But if I wasn't - I'd totally go. Post-marital/conjugal bliss brings out the worst in people. The guy could be totally decent except when it comes to his ex. That he went to the street, presumably thinking his kids wouldn't hear him, is actually a big point in his favor. He'd probably be glad to know that you overheard from your house in spite of his efforts.
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