Can't compete

TCMom78 · September 2013

I'm feeling defeated. I cannot compete with twenty-something's that have no kids and are willing to work like dogs. Even though I'm 80 percent at work, I cannot seem to hack it. I just feel like I'm ineffective at work, and I'm missing out on my kids to boot. I guess it has just been a bad day. Vent. Over.

iverske9 · September 2013

It is going to feel like that but remember that those twenty something do not have your experience. You need to tackle one thing at a time and prioritize. Plus you have to remember that it will get easier and at some point the tables will turn you will have older kids and more freedom and they will have newborn and toddlers.

CrawltheWarriorKing · September 2013

PP said it beautifully. One thing to add...DON'T COMPETE. A good manager doesn't compare employees during review time. They focus on what that individual has completed the past year, goals they have met, etc. Focus on yourself, your work, your goals and forget about those around you. Everyone's perfomance fluctuates at times, just focus on each task and you'll do great!

litzo27 · September 2013

First of all - big hugs. These days happen to all of us! My situation is opposite - I can't compete with 40 years old men who have grown children and SAH wives who take care of everything on the home front. But I don't compete. I do my best. And PP made great points - you have experience, you also have the ability to focus at work (and not be distracted by facebook, girlfriend troubles and hangovers). Do your best and try to find a balance that makes things easier.

TCMom78 · September 2013

Litzo, yeah- them too!

financialdiva · September 2013

Hugs. I know how you feel.

I've been having this internal struggle during the last few weeks, so thank you for posting this so you could get some great responses. They made me feel better too!

Nechie122 · September 2013

I agree with what everyone else said. Take one or two projects and own them and focus on those results when it's time for your review. Also, it's a cliche, but work smarter, not "harder:" just because someone is putting in a lot of face-time doesn't mean they're working more effectively (actually, the opposite is probably true.)

However, what works for me is splitting daycare pick-ups with my DH. So I know that twice a week I can stay past 6 without giving it a second thought. I also try not to pass up opportunities to travel or go to networking events, i.e. I selectively put in extra hours when I know they'll make the biggest impression.

But mostly I've accepted that this is a point in my career where my goal is just to have balance. I worked my ass off in my 20s to get to this point (cashing in goodwill for flexibility), and my time to gun for the corner office (so to speak) may not be till my 40s, and that's okay too.

KL777 · September 2013

Don't compete. Just do your best and go home. We're in a different chapter in our lives than they are. My family is my first priority. I give 100% 8-5 pm. When 5 pm comes, I make a hard stop, go home, go over homework with my son, and family time.

AMbaby · September 2013

Man I needed to hear this today...

groovygrl · September 2013

Just think bigger picture, what really matters in life when all is said and done??? Plus one day they'll be in your shoes & one day you'll be in a position where you have more time again and it all comes full circle. But I hear you- my problem is hte same but different, most of the people I work with are much older than me and past the kid stage... I hate the self doubting days...!!!
Hugs to you!

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