Mixed Feelings? Anyone? Bueller?

CaitS07 · September 2013

First, H and I discussed having children for over a year before we started TTC. I am super excited about becoming a mom but this past weekend, H and I were having a quiet moment to ourselves and all of the sudden it hit me that in 8 weeks, it won't just be us anymore. I started to feel really mixed about having to leave "that" life behind me and move into the next stage, then I felt super guilty about it. I talked to H about it all and he made me feel so much better, but am I alone in having felt this way?

JaysonandKristin · September 2013

The night before last, the boys were each snuggling with one of us (DH was snuggling DS1 and I was snuggling DS2). Needless to say, I looked over at DH and asked, "Where's DD going to go?"

DH looked around, saw DS1 was snuggling a baby lamb stuffed animal while DH was snuggling him. DH's suggestion was that we let DS1 snuggle DD while DH is snuggling DS1.

We both laughed, but the logistics of it all are going to need more consideration very soon!!

I don't really worry about it. It will all work itself out, and you should definitely let DH talk you down from any fears. That's what they're there for!!

malberto · September 2013

Totally normal! I remember feeling the same way with my first, and now, I feel guilty about having a second and making my son share the spotlight.

Hopefully you guys will still make time to be alone and everything will be just fine! Your heart just makes room to love the new additions to your family without sacrificing what you had before

amandasvids · September 2013

Not at all! I am also a FTM and I have waves of mixed emotion from time to time. I am beyond excited and have prayed for a baby for many, many moons. But I also get overwhelmed with the fact that this life that I am so established and comfortable in is about to get turned upside down! I have been so independent for so long that it will definitely be an adjustment having a little one rely on me. I think that these feelings are natural and that it is good that you can talk to your H about it.

I am embracing these last few weeks with my DH and overall excited to grow our family. Nervous? Heck yeah! But I have a feeling that when that baby is in my arms the nerves will melt away and all will feel right. Better than even!

Chargersgrl33 · September 2013

Completely normal! I have the same thought with #2 on the way.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

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rbtrumpet · September 2013

so glad to hear it's normal!

I've definitely been feeling it. In fact, the other night DH and I were snuggling in bed, and I almost started crying because I realized that these moments were going to be few and far between for a while.

I've wanted to be a mom since I was 3, and DH and I tried for over a year to get pregnant, so I feel like I 'shouldn't' have any negative emotions about being pregnant. I am excited, but I'm going to miss my laid-back, selfish life!

ETA: whenever someone asks me how I'm feeling, I tell them I'm half way between excited and terrified - which almost ALL of my friends who are already parents, laugh at and say "yeah, that sounds about right."

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · September 2013

It's funny you mention this. We were driving somewhere over the weekend and DH goes "so are you 30 weeks now?" I say "yeah." and that was that at the time. Later, we were out at lunch and he asked me how I felt about everything (meaning DD being born etc.) I told him that sometimes I'm excited and happy and other times I'm scared to death or sad. I asked how he was feeling about everything and he just said "fine." I went to bed before he did that night and when I woke up the next morning, I checked FB and he had posted something about having 8.5 weeks left and how he wasn't sure he was ready but he will be. The nice thing is that our entire relationship we tend to be the type where when one of us is panicking, the other isn't. We're just sort of taking it all in stride.

Maimes10 · September 2013

I hope it's normal!! My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 4. H is 41 and I will be 40 in February so to say that we are very used to our lives without children is an understatement. They say you are never 100% ready and I think that is what is coming out of us right now. I'm beyond excited, it took a village for us to get here but I can't help but mourn the loss of our life we are so used to. Every Sunday during football I'm counting down the Sunday's until our Sunday rituals are something else all together. I'm confident all of these feelings will vanish the moment we meet our little life changers!!

fitmama418 · September 2013

I think it's absolutely normal. I've been feeling the same way! So ready and excited to be a mom and DH definitely planned to have her but am terrified of, well, labor and delivery (I plan to go un-medicated for as long as possible...yowch!), LO not being able to breast feed or me not producing enough for her, her not liking me (yep...I worry my child is going to hate me), etc. I go between not being able to wait to meet her and utter terror and tears. I just keep telling myself its part of the game of pregnancy and that makes me feel a little better.

fiddlefern · September 2013

YUP. I totally feel this way. I look at DS and think to myself daily when will WE have this individual time again?

SweetLaura286 · September 2013

Yup! My LO was tried for.. Hard.. And I'm still totally having that moment.

CaitS07 · September 2013

Thanks ladies! I really needed to see I wasn't the only one

fitmama418 · September 2013

Oh...and now that everyone is posting like...how many days are left and the realization that some people are almost full term? Makes me go like this:

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · September 2013

nciesla said:

Oh...and now that everyone is posting like...how many days are left and the realization that some people are almost full term? Makes me go like this:

Yep. This has pretty much been me all day.

lafsalot · September 2013

I think it's normal, I have waves of"what were we thinking!" And waves of joy! We were like that before getting pregnant too, do we want kids, do we want our freedom... We chose having a baby.

sands42 · September 2013

Totally normal, I think!

I LOVE being a mom- but I am sometimes jealous of my friends without kids. I think it's like that with everything in life- the grass can always seem greener! Life is about to be WAY different if you're going to be a FTM.... no one can even begin to explain it to you- but it's truly awesome.

wendy2613 · September 2013

Sounds perfectly normal. I have the same feeling about DD2 on the way. Like we were getting used to being a family one three and now we'll be adding in a 4th.

You shouldn't feel guilty, we are so emotional these days anyways that it's bound to happen

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