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March 2013 Moms
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MIL vent

MillerMama13MillerMama13 member
in March 2013 Moms
Just when I think we are bonding and I feel like I can tell her things and not get flamed, she starts trying to control our lives and flames me for everything! Gah! We had a huge fight months ago because she basically implied that I was feeding my daughter too much and she looked fat. She was 2 months old at the time. So yea, I flipped out. Since then our conversations are brief and she doesn't try to squeeze every detail of our everyday activities out of DH and I as much. It's basically a daily "how are you guys and the baby?" Which is cool with me. I actually started opening up more and felt like we were bonding but then comes the flaming.

So we live in IL and she lives in CA so obviously she's not here. She still feels the need to tell us what B need to be wearing and what she needs to be doing. I send a pic and instead of just "oh how cute" I get " why is she wearing that? It's too hot. She's going to be miserable" because its in the eighties and I have her in very thin material pants. I could go on and on with examples like this. She ALWAYS points out something negative. She is incapable of giving a compliment without adding in a little stab.

So last night she went off on me because my little sister is coming to visit and we are meeting my parents halfway. Appearantly according to her I'm a terrible parent for putting my daughter in the car for 2 hours. But I guarantee if we had to drive twice as far to pick her up it would be just fine. She's extremely jealous that my family lives closer so B gets to see them more. She has actually told DH that she will be extremely upset if we take family photos with my family so I have to hide any photos of B with my family so she won't be upset. It's ridiculous. Sorry for this getting so long I just needed to vent. Maybe some outside perspective will make her not seem so bad and I'm just annoyed with her bc she's my MIL and we've had issues in the past.
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Re: MIL vent

  • shellmhshellmh member
    edited September 2013
    Ugh, I'm sorry she's treating you like this. I hate how once you have a baby everyone in the world feels like it's their right to tell you that everything you're doing is wrong.

    And I know how you feel about the jealousy thing. My parents live 15 minutes away, my ILs 2 hours away. I've always gotten along with my ILs but lately they're all driving me crazy being jealous for no reason. They've convinced themselves that my sister and mom see DS every single day, when the truth is my parents see him once a week for a family dinner and my sister sometimes goes weeks without seeing him because she's so busy. My ILs, on the other hand, get to see him 3 full days a month because we stay with them when we go visit. But I'm constantly getting comments from them! Like last week, we went on a 10 day vacation with them. The week before we left, DS started screaming if anyone besides me was holding him. I mentioned something to MIL and SIL about how my mom said she feels really bad that he was going to be like this on the vacation and SIL replied "you mean she was happy about it?" Implying my mom was giddy and laughing that all week DS would essentially hate them. Ugh. And while we were on vacation it was DS's 6 month bday so I made a little half birthday cake. We had another IDENTICAL cake with my parents when we got home. DH sent ILs a cute pic of DS in front of the cake and the response? "How come they get a 2 layer cake?!?" Um. It's identical to the cake you guys got.

    It's so frustrating!! (Sorry this was so long. Once I start venting....)
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  • gurleymommagurleymomma member
    Dont let her bother you,i know it sucks but i definatly wouldnt hide my photos so she wouldnt get upset.if shes gonna let a family photo make her mad,she needs to get over it.dont feel bad,i dont get along with my in-laws either and they live five min. away.your lucky shes far away.feed and raise your kid as you see fit. Your the momma not her.
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  • MillerMama13MillerMama13 member
    Thanks. At least I'm not alone in dealing with this. I usually ignore her but her last text was just so condemning. Like she should send child protective services after me because we're going on a little road trip. I mean come on woman. Get over yourself. Just because you raised 2 kids does not make you the queen of mothering. FIL actually admitted to DH that he and MIL used to do coke when DH and his sister were little. I so want to throw that in her face sometimes like... And I should be taking advice from YOU?! But I wouldn't. Everyone makes mistakes.
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  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930 member
    Wow...2 hours in the car is too much for a baby? Better not tell her about me. We live over 2.5 hours away from my parents and have driven down there in the past with the intention of doing it again.
     
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  • MrsG071809MrsG071809 member
    RibbitGrl930 said:
    Wow...2 hours in the car is too much for a baby? Better not tell her about me. We live over 2.5 hours away from my parents and have driven down there in the past with the intention of doing it again.
    Yeah, someone better take my baby away because we drove 13 hours with her when she was 4 months old....

    so sorry all of these MILs are so crappy!!  But I agree, try not to let it get to you, and don't give in, do what you know is best and if she doesn't like it, screw her!
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