LGBT Parenting

So my doctor is the worst.

I'm going to indulge in a bit of a rant if you kind folks don't mind.

I'll first start by saying that I am very glad I decided to do my first IUI with my current doctor because it has been a valuable lesson for me.  I've learned a lot about what I expect from a doctor, what I want in an OB, and how I expect to be treated by the nurses and receptionists.  They have all failed, miserably.  If I had taken the sperm to Indianapolis and waited to do my first IUI with my new RE, perhaps I would have still gone with my current doctor as my OB once I got pregnant.  Nope, not anymore.

My list of complaints: 1) He scheduled my fist ultrasound 10 days after my period even though I told him my cycles were super long. 2) When I called for an urgent appointment they wouldn't get me in until Monday (this was on a Saturday).  3) He asked me to send my sperm vial to his office so it was ready right before my ultrasound.  I specifically asked him if they could store the sperm for me in case I wasn't ready and he said yes.  They have no such storage facility so it put my specimen in danger of expiring before I could use it.  4) Because of number 3, he wanted to move forward with the IUI even though my largest follicle was only 9 mm.  5) He ordered a trigger shot for me and told me to come in the morning and the office would administer it for me.  When I came into the office the nurse asked me for the syringe.  I said I didn't have it and I expected the office to have it.  They said they didn't have it and sent me to the pharmacy to get it myself.  I had to run out, get it, and then leave work so they could give me the shot even though plenty of women have done it themselves.  I was so annoyed but I continued because it was either do the IUI now or lose the sperm altogether.  6) I went in for my IUI the next day and the doctor said the sperm looked good.  I asked for the count.  He said they don't do a sperm count but he believed it was a good specimen so he went ahead and did it.  7) I called for a blood test on Monday since I missed my period.  The nurse told me that the doctor wasn't in on Monday and that he'd call me Tuesday.  Tuesday passed and no call.  8) I called this morning (because AF is still MIA and I'm still getting BFNs) and asked if she had a chance to talk to the doctor.  She said my doctor would be out of town for 2 weeks.  Wait, what?  What if I needed to do another IUI before then?  Who the heck would I see, and why didn't they tell me?? 

Oh, I am so done with them.  If I ever hear back from them I may still do the blood test but otherwise I'm going to wait until Sept. 17th when I have an appointment with a real RE.  I can tell him everything that's happened and hopefully I'll get better care with him.  If it's this bad when I'm trying to get pregnant, I can't imagine how bad it would be once I actually do get pregnant.  Just plain awful.

Anyway... still no AF, still no BFP.  Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?  My boobs hurt so bad, too.  Worse than they ever have.  It feels like someone spent the night hitting them with a hammer all over, especially the front and nipple areas.  Ouch :(

Re: So my doctor is the worst.

  • I'd ask your family doc for a pregnancy blood test. And, what an awful experience!!!
    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


    imageimageimageimage

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  • I'd also as your primary doctor and then say eff off to the OB! I sincerely hope you have a better experience with your RE. 

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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  • My doctor called me last night.  He believes 100% that I'm not pregnant and shouldn't take a blood test.  He wants me to get on progesterone to force my period and then start on Clomid right away so we can plan the next IUI.

    Okay, I get that my odds of being pregnant at this point are minute - but weirder things have happened.  I would be devastated if I aborted my own baby unknowingly all for the sake of rushing things.  He says I didn't ovulate - but I know my body!  When I don't ovulate, I don't get sore breasts.  My month continues as it would have without my period. 

    I can understand if I'm one of the rare folks who didn't ovulate with Ovidrel and ovulated on my own later.  In that case, I'd expect AF to come this weekend since I'm generally 35-38 days on my cycles and today would be CD 35.  I have a few days to naturally start my period without wondering what happened.

    I'm just waiting until Tuesday of next week, then.  It's too exhausting chasing doctors around and asking for answers.  My body is going to do what it's going to do, whether that means starting my period or getting more pregnant.  Regardless, I will feel worlds better talking to an RE who knows what he's doing.

  • Yeah, I'm totally side-eyeing your doctor.  It's true that the odds of you being pregnant are small with so many BFN HPTs -- but what's the harm in doing the test, just to be sure?  My RE won't give you fertility meds for the next cycle until you've had a negative blood HCG test, because you certainly wouldn't want to take Clomid while pregnant.
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I've been using the 88 cent tests and getting negatives.  I'm tempted to test with something better but I'm sick of spending the money.

  • And yes, from my understanding it's normal practice to do a blood test to at least confirm one way or the other before starting fertility meds!  My doc is nuts.  I feel like he's just kind of stabbing in the dark and hoping for the best.
  • And yes, from my understanding it's normal practice to do a blood test to at least confirm one way or the other before starting fertility meds!  My doc is nuts.  I feel like he's just kind of stabbing in the dark and hoping for the best.
    It you can't get someone (your PCP?) to do a blood HCG test, I'd buy a pack of FRERs and test with first morning urine, just to be sure.  I find them to be quite reliable, and they are quite sensitive.
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thanks :) I will do that on Monday if I don't see AF this weekend!  I still have a hard time believing Ovidrel didn't work but it must not have.  I didn't use Clomid with it so maybe that's where I went wrong.
  • Were you temping? That is a good way to know if you actually ovulated. No medication is 100%, so if you were temping, then you can add those together and get a better idea. 

    As for a blood test: when I called my ob, she said that they wouldn't do a blood test until I was 14 days late. She says that the reason they hold off for 2 weeks is because you can't guarantee, unless you are using ultrasound, that you actually ovulated when you believe you did. 

    I wouldn't take any medication until I had a blood test. That's just me. 

    Take some deep breaths. If your doctors refuse to give you a blood test, I would wait it out and test with the FRER tests. I know you said you are tired of spending money, but they are pretty accurate and could give you peace of mind before you take medicine. 


    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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    image
  • Yeah, I'm definitely not taking any medicines until I've had a blood test (or until AF arrives).  I haven't been temping but I will start next cycle (whenever it comes around). 
  • Mulling over calling my doctor... I may just do that on my lunch hour.  Then at least I'll know!  Thanks for your support, ladies :)

  • Any News? BFP? :)
    Attempt #1: July Natural Cycle ICI = BFN
    Attempt #2: August Natural Cycle IUI = BFN
    Attempt #3: September Natural Cycle IUI = TWW


  • Nope.  BFN this morning on my First Response.  But thanks for asking!  :) I am going to see my RE tomorrow and he'll probably do a blood test just in case, but I've made peace with this cycle not working out.  When I think about everything that went wrong I'm not at all surprised!  Hopefully my next round will be more exact.
  • You never know!! I hope you are pleasantly surprised! Keep us posted :)
    Attempt #1: July Natural Cycle ICI = BFN
    Attempt #2: August Natural Cycle IUI = BFN
    Attempt #3: September Natural Cycle IUI = TWW


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