What would you do to be in a school district

LoriLee14 · September 2013

I know a lot of you have expressed that you picked the school system and then a house so that your child goes there.

I know quite a few people that have used someone else's address to get into the school system. They use their grandparents address so they can register at that school.

Would you do this?

How bad ethically is this?

notkateanymore · September 2013

Well, it's lying. So where do you fall when it comes to lying and ethics. I wouldn't do it, bc 1. it's lying, 2. we would get caught anyway bc DD can not lie, and 3. part of the living in the school district here is having friends close by and the sense of community.

ToastieSimons · September 2013

Using a wrong address isn't just morally wrong, it's illegal. Remember this? https://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/26/mom-jailed-for-enrolling-kids-in-wrong-school-district/

LoriLee14 · September 2013

I don't think I could ever do it. I am a horrible liar and I would hate having to put that pressure on my child and sleepovers and all of that...

I just have a couple of friends that do it. One got caught because she wrote a check to the school (and it had their address on it) and the other one is still doing it but are thinking about moving there soon.

I also remember people doing it when I was growing up so they went to the city school instead of the county school

Chapter79 · September 2013

I would do none of that. It's lying, which I don't do. And also teaching the child to do it. Fail.

jnksmom · September 2013

I wouldn't do it because it is lying. I also wouldn't want to worry about it all the time. I have written several checks to the school already this year. We would have gotten caught.

penguingrrl · September 2013

I would not lie to get my kid into a school district. That's against the law,. Even ignoring the ethics of it, you can be on the hook for a lot of money if you're caught.

That said, we're in a 2 bed/1 bath house because it's in the right school district. In a few surrounding towns we could have this space for a lot less or a much larger house for the same money, but I wouldn't have considered it because the schools weren't as good. In some cases they weren't even bad schools, just not as good as the district we're in. I'll always gladly live in a tiny house and accept a commute for DH if that's what it takes to be in a stellar school district. But I would never lie.

Allycat11 · September 2013

There is no way I would do something like that.

I would, as a matter of fact I probably will, live in a smaller house and make other sacrifices to live in a good school district.

eaglesfan700 · September 2013

We would never do that. Besides all the obvious legal, moral and ethical reasons, I couldn't live with the anxiety of worrying about getting caught

roxy_jj · September 2013

No, I would not lie about our address to send my kids to a certain school. That's very wrong. If I didn't like the neighborhood schools, they would go to private schools.

notkateanymore · September 2013

I do know somebody who lives in our school district, but not in the elementary school district her son has gone to since K and she rented an apartment so he could go there, but they live at her other house. The school district found out and let her give up the lease on the apartment and finish out school there.

bumpuser924057 · September 2013

My parents did this when I was in school so I could be in the magnet schools instead of going to the neighborhood schools. We used my grandma's address. It worked out ok but I don't know if it would be worth the hassle for me unless the schools in my district were truly terrible.

M0ON · September 2013

I dont get it, wouldnt the kids have to go to grandma's every morning to catch the bus? Or do you pretty much have to drive them if you do this?

roxy_jj · September 2013

M0ON said:

I dont get it, wouldnt the kids have to go to grandma's every morning to catch the bus? Or do you pretty much have to drive them if you do this?

None of the elementary schools out here have bus service. I know someone who did this and they lived in the school district, but the school they were zoned for wasn't nearly as good as the one close to their grandma's house. It wasn't too much of a drive.

penguingrrl · September 2013

Does no one else's district require many proofs of both ID and address to register anyway? I know here you need to show a photo ID for the parent, a lease or mortgage in the parent's name, a utility bill for the address in the parent's name (which has to have been mailed, an e-bill doesn't count) and a birth certificate for the child. I don't know how you would get away with lying about where you live unless you have a legal address that isn't your actual residence.

As far as the bus, the districts around here (each town has its own district) are mostly under 2 miles and few have major highways, so most kids walk or are driven. Very few people around here get bused.

notkateanymore · September 2013

Yes, we had to show our lease to be able to enroll DD for school.

roxy_jj · September 2013

penguingrrl said:

Does no one else's district require many proofs of both ID and address to register anyway? I know here you need to show a photo ID for the parent, a lease or mortgage in the parent's name, a utility bill for the address in the parent's name (which has to have been mailed, an e-bill doesn't count) and a birth certificate for the child. I don't know how you would get away with lying about where you live unless you have a legal address that isn't your actual residence.

As far as the bus, the districts around here (each town has its own district) are mostly under 2 miles and few have major highways, so most kids walk or are driven. Very few people around here get bused.

Yes, we have the same requirements for registration. They are very strict about having the appropriate documentation. I don't know how people who use the grandparent's address do it.

MesmrEwe · September 2013

We have school choice here so it's not an issue if you live outside of the district as long as you live in the state...

Ilumine · September 2013

No, I would not do this.

You do get that School Budgets are not just monies obtained from the Federal Government and State right? And that the School Board's base THEIR budgets on the number of children enrolled in their district.

So effectively, you are increasing those school district resident's TAXES that YOU ARE NOT PAYING INTO. That is STEALING.

And given that the better school districts are probably getting much higher taxes, you cannot even use the "since my kid is not utilizing my tax dollars in my district, so there is extra money there..."

Life is not 90210 and your kids are not Andrea Zuckerman.

*edited to add Adnrea's last name.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2013

I would not do that. I have a friend who lived with her grandparents in high school because their district was better and the HS in her district was awful though the elementary school was good. We are currently renting and will continue to do so until we can afford to buy in a good district in the area we want to live in

LatteLady5 · September 2013

There is a neighboring district that now allows students to enroll there up to a certain number. In h/s the private school I went to closed. One girl and her family lied and used her uncles address to go to another district in a neighboring state. Another family transferred guardianship to someone in the district (think close family friend) and the kid actually did live with the lady the majority of the time and go to the school in that district.

And no. We're hsing but I'd never in a million years to that. It's a horrible example to set for the kids and it's lying and stealing. It's really sad that this is something people feel they have to do to make sure their kids are getting a good education.

bumpuser924057 · September 2013

penguingrrl said:

Does no one else's district require many proofs of both ID and address to register anyway? I know here you need to show a photo ID for the parent, a lease or mortgage in the parent's name, a utility bill for the address in the parent's name (which has to have been mailed, an e-bill doesn't count) and a birth certificate for the child. I don't know how you would get away with lying about where you live unless you have a legal address that isn't your actual residence.

As far as the bus, the districts around here (each town has its own district) are mostly under 2 miles and few have major highways, so most kids walk or are driven. Very few people around here get bused.

How would this work for parents who don't own or rent property? Are their children not allowed to attend school? If your family moves in with grandma after a divorce or you lose your home and have to move in with your SIL, how do you send your kid to school? I think we had to provide a utility bill back in the 80s, but that was it, and in those situations I'm not sure how you even do that. And I know we had homeless students enrolled at our school, as well as students who lived with many families sharing one living space.

Rink08 · September 2013

I wouldn't lie and wouldn't want my kids thinking that it was fine to lie. Would you never have their friends over to visit?

We moved to put our kids in this district. In order to enroll DS1, we has to provide 2 forms of address verification. One needed to be either a lease, mortgage payment, or deed and the other a bill. They specifically wouldn't accept driver's licenses as proof of address because they can easily be changed.

penguingrrl · September 2013

thecheshirekat said:

penguingrrl said:

Does no one else's district require many proofs of both ID and address to register anyway? I know here you need to show a photo ID for the parent, a lease or mortgage in the parent's name, a utility bill for the address in the parent's name (which has to have been mailed, an e-bill doesn't count) and a birth certificate for the child. I don't know how you would get away with lying about where you live unless you have a legal address that isn't your actual residence.

As far as the bus, the districts around here (each town has its own district) are mostly under 2 miles and few have major highways, so most kids walk or are driven. Very few people around here get bused.

How would this work for parents who don't own or rent property? Are their children not allowed to attend school? If your family moves in with grandma after a divorce or you lose your home and have to move in with your SIL, how do you send your kid to school? I think we had to provide a utility bill back in the 80s, but that was it, and in those situations I'm not sure how you even do that. And I know we had homeless students enrolled at our school, as well as students who lived with many families sharing one living space.

I'm not sure how that would work. I would guess that the parent would need to make a lease. I'm pretty sure they require the same documentation the DMV requires to get a license, which is not easy in NJ.

penguingrrl · September 2013

cjcouple said:

The only way I would do something like that was if I had to register them for school in September and our house was currently being built in the same town and it was due to be finished prior to end of year. but I imagine I could even get permission to just enroll early and keep school informed of all changes and final move in. I doubt this happens often. But it could.

My SIL couldn't use the schools in her new town until they were residing in the house when she was building. And homeowners in my town who are currently displaced by Sandy have to attend school wherever they're residing or pay out of district tuition.

LatteLady5 · September 2013

penguingrrl said:

cjcouple said:

The only way I would do something like that was if I had to register them for school in September and our house was currently being built in the same town and it was due to be finished prior to end of year. but I imagine I could even get permission to just enroll early and keep school informed of all changes and final move in. I doubt this happens often. But it could.

My SIL couldn't use the schools in her new town until they were residing in the house when she was building. And homeowners in my town who are currently displaced by Sandy have to attend school wherever they're residing or pay out of district tuition.

That just seems really wrong to me. Those families and kids have had to move because of a terrible natural disaster and the kids can't even stay in the same school they're familiar with without paying additional tuition?

penguingrrl · September 2013

LatteLady5 said:

penguingrrl said:

cjcouple said:

The only way I would do something like that was if I had to register them for school in September and our house was currently being built in the same town and it was due to be finished prior to end of year. but I imagine I could even get permission to just enroll early and keep school informed of all changes and final move in. I doubt this happens often. But it could.

My SIL couldn't use the schools in her new town until they were residing in the house when she was building. And homeowners in my town who are currently displaced by Sandy have to attend school wherever they're residing or pay out of district tuition.

That just seems really wrong to me. Those families and kids have had to move because of a terrible natural disaster and the kids can't even stay in the same school they're familiar with without paying additional tuition?

Most of us are pretty horrified by it. I only found out because a friend's BIL and SIL are currently rebuilding and have to pay tuition. It's the law even though as homeowners in town they're paying property taxes (minimal ones as they don't have a habitable dwelling on the property). School district is zoned by primary residence, not by anywhere you are paying taxes for owning property. I feel really bad for these families.

That said, the section of town that flooded is the more affluent section. All the houses that were destroyed were worth between $600K and $8M. Not that it's fair that this is happening to anyone, but in other parts of the state the people who were displaced are in much more precarious financial situations and I'm more concerned about their welfare right now.

ariel06 · September 2013

We only looked at houses in the three school districts that I wanted my kids in. We could have gotten a better house for cheaper, but I was not okay with the school district options.

Many schools offer selective or open enrollment, but many of the better ones have very few spots available. DS's school had zero openings this year.

ToastieSimons · September 2013

thecheshirekat said:

penguingrrl said:

Does no one else's district require many proofs of both ID and address to register anyway? I know here you need to show a photo ID for the parent, a lease or mortgage in the parent's name, a utility bill for the address in the parent's name (which has to have been mailed, an e-bill doesn't count) and a birth certificate for the child. I don't know how you would get away with lying about where you live unless you have a legal address that isn't your actual residence.

As far as the bus, the districts around here (each town has its own district) are mostly under 2 miles and few have major highways, so most kids walk or are driven. Very few people around here get bused.

How would this work for parents who don't own or rent property? Are their children not allowed to attend school? If your family moves in with grandma after a divorce or you lose your home and have to move in with your SIL, how do you send your kid to school? I think we had to provide a utility bill back in the 80s, but that was it, and in those situations I'm not sure how you even do that. And I know we had homeless students enrolled at our school, as well as students who lived with many families sharing one living space.

We live with my parents. In order to enroll DS1 on the school district I needed a notarized letter from my parents that we live there. And we needed a bill at their address. Since we aren't on the utilities we had to use a bank statement and credit card bill.

jensriot · September 2013

jnksmom said:

I wouldn't do it because it is lying. I also wouldn't want to worry about it all the time. I have written several checks to the school already this year. We would have gotten caught.

This. If I didn't get caught the paranoia would make me crazy.

pitterpatter129 · September 2013

Wow. Here you just show up and enroll. I think they ask that you bring in a water bill, but a lot of my students' families lived with other people or some of them were even homeless. You just check that you reside with family or are homeless on the enrollment form. I transferred my nieces (who we had custody of) into the district and that was just a quick form to be approved and I don't think we even had to show any sort of records that we were even their guardians. I know all the nearby districts have the option of transferring from another district too. It has to be approved, but it's rare a transfer is denied. So, no need to tell a lie here when you can just fill out some paperwork. We did pick a house by the school district though. Even if I teach in the crummier one nearby, our kiddos will get to go the nice schools.

fancynewbeesly · September 2013

With Sandy, our district let you stay in the same school until the end of the year. Parents had to provide transportation though. This year the students had to enroll in schools where they were living.

nosoup4u · September 2013

Homeless students are exempt from having to go to a certain school in my city. I send DS1 to a good neighborhood school, even though the district as a whole is being run into the ground by the assholes at the top.

I can understand why ppl would lie about it, but also, it's up to parents (and especially middle-class families) to buy into their local neighborhood public schools, so the schools themselves can get better and thrive.

Tigger & pooh · September 2013

I would never lie about where I live but I would spend a lot of money to get the to the school I think is best for them. When we first bought our house we were in the boundaries for a good school then the yr before DS went to school they changed boundaries and we got a new school. I wasn't excited about it but we tried it for kindergarten. It had some serious issues I wasn't comfortable with so we school choiced him out of the district to a really great school. I now drive 25 min to and from school so he can go there. If he hadn't gotten in then we would have paid what we needed to for a private school somewhere.

caladpi02 · September 2013

lurker from Working Moms. Where I live, the school districts actually come to homes to check and make sure it is really where the kid resides. You have to provide proof of residency to enroll, like PP mentioned, and are required to do so every year.

Notwifezilla7 · September 2013

While working at the former district I did, on two occasions it was discovered kids were living elsewhere and using other addresses. One would get dropped off at his grandmother's every morning even though he lived in a neighboring town, while the other girl actually lived on MY STREET two towns over. They had hired private investigators to basically tail these families to prove they were not in district.

In the end both kids were out.

I know the district we live in currently, there is a girl in dd1's class whose parents have decided to pay tuition rate so that she can be in our public school. They live a few towns over, in a district whose schools aren't as well regarded. Instead of lying, they called and now pay tuition. I haven't asked yet how the district decides what the rate will be.

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