Working Moms

How much (if any) PTO do you give your part time nanny?

Does she get paid holidays, too?

My nanny is 3 days a week. Our relationship is very informal and I am pretty laid back on things. So far, we have given her at least 50 hours of PTO and she has only worked for us 3.5 months. I paid her yesterday for the first half of the month and it became apparent that she also expects to be paid for all holidays (even if I need her to work and she requests off and i have to get other childcare) and days she requests off, too, where I have to pay for other child care. On the holiday issue, I could maybe understand days like Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. But DH and I are not a fortune 500 company and giving her 20 to 30 days of PTO a year just seems excessive when she is only part time. Frankly, I have never worked anywhere in my life that gave part time, hourly employees paid holidays and pto.

So...how do you handle paid vacation, holidays, etc? Obviously our informal relationship is going to have to be formalized. What is normal for part time? We already pay her very well IMO for just one easy child. She makes more than I do an hour than what I make after I pay her and I am an attorney!
IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

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Re: How much (if any) PTO do you give your part time nanny?

  • I am looking for a nanny for 2 days per week and do not plan to give PTO. she will be paid for any days that I take off and dont need her, but if she requests a day off and i need to pay for alternate care, i will not be paying her.
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  • We pay our FT nanny for 10 days a year.  She can take them how she likes, but it includes sick time.  I would give her 5 days a year, if I were you, in addition to holidays.  I kind of have a feeling that she's not going to stick around after that conversation though.  Hope I'm wrong.  Good luck!
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  • jd614 said:

    I am looking for a nanny for 2 days per week and do not plan to give PTO. she will be paid for any days that I take off and dont need her, but if she requests a day off and i need to pay for alternate care, i will not be paying her.

    That is basically what I had been doing. ..which ultimately for one reason or another results in her getting quite a bit of PTO. Vacation for her and holidays (ones dh and I have to work) seems a bit much to me.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • IBackBevo said:
    I am looking for a nanny for 2 days per week and do not plan to give PTO. she will be paid for any days that I take off and dont need her, but if she requests a day off and i need to pay for alternate care, i will not be paying her.
    That is basically what I had been doing. ..which ultimately for one reason or another results in her getting quite a bit of PTO. Vacation for her and holidays (ones dh and I have to work) seems a bit much to me.

    No  but I mean she ONLY gets paid for the days WE tell her we dont need her. If she calls me and says i cant come monday, then thats fine, but she will not be paid for it. If i call her and say I am taking the day off Monday you dont need to come, I will still pay her for that day. My thought is...with all the days either DH or myself take off, for working 2 days/week, she will get plenty of time off. Unless its an emergency, she really shoudlnt need to take any additional days, she should be able to schedule whatever she needs around us.

  • We paid our part-time nanny if she was scheduled to come in but we didn't need her.  I felt that since she was setting the time aside to be available for us, she should be compensated, even if we got home early, were on vacation, etc.  We also gave her a one-week bonus at Christmas and paid her for that week even though she didn't work.  

  • Here is what happened. ..she had friends come into town for a week and wanted off. She told us about it like 2 months ago. I gave it off to her paid. Then, on like the Friday before the monday.she was supposed to come back, she texted me and asked off for the following monday off last minute and that Wednesday. Left me ina lurch. Had to Have my elderly mom cancel two doctors appointments and come in from 5 hours away. I even had a depo scheduled! But she expected to be paid for all that time. Yes I told her I would pay her for the week and.i.did but ifelt like the other two days were on her.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • jd614 said:
    I am looking for a nanny for 2 days per week and do not plan to give PTO. she will be paid for any days that I take off and dont need her, but if she requests a day off and i need to pay for alternate care, i will not be paying her.
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  • Like others, we give 10 days paid vacation - 5 of her choosing, 5 of our choosing.  We then give her 5 flex days paid.  We gave her a list of paid holidays in advance - Christmas, Thanksgiving, Memorial day, etc. so she knows that there are certain "long" weekends that she'll have to work.  Neither DH nor I get Columbus Day off, for example, so we didn't put that on the list.  If she wants to take it off, she'll use PTO, because we'll have to use PTO.

    We had a big problem with our first nanny and PTO.  Even though we laid everything out for her, she ended up taking more than 2 weeks unpaid in addition to the 3 weeks paid.  She was very angry with us for not paying her for the additional 2 weeks.  That, and her feeling that she was owed more money despite earning a wage on the very high end for our COL and one kid, ultimately led to her quitting.  I'd try to nail this down if I were you, even if it's more of an informal relationship.

    Good luck!!!
  • That's absurd. My nanny gets paid for the hours she works. I will round up in her favor, I don't deduct if she's less than 30 mins late and I give her a nice bonus for Christmas and her birthday. She's very satisfied and I am more than generous among people I know with nannies. 50+ hours of PTO in 3.5 months??? She's taking advantage of you and you're being wayyyyyy too nice. And if she can't make it and you have to pay for alt childcare there is NO WAY she should get paid for that day. Dang, what's the point of you working if you're paying the nanny more than you earn!!!
    BFP#1 10/17/11, m/c due to SCH 11/21/11 @ 8w4d; BFP#2 2/26/12, baby girl arrived 11/1/12; BFP#3 12/3/13, EDD: 8/18/14.

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  • Also where does everyone get that 2 weeks paid time off is normal at most jobs??? I've been working for 20+ years (now an attorney) and maybe if you're lucky you start with ONE week of PTO per year. You have to earn more by putting in time and proving you're a good employee. I understand treating your nanny well - and mine is treated EXTREMELY well - I know bc she tells me all the time that she's happy and satisfied and I make a pony to ask her and be very tuned into her needs. BUT, treating them well doesn't equal bending over backwards and falling all over yourself and paying the nanny more than you would get at a 9-5 desk job. Sorry but that's just stupid and if I were a nanny I wouldn't have respect for such an employer - I would think my employer was a sucker and that I could get away with calling out sick left and right and still getting paid! Which seems exactly what OPs nanny is doing.
    BFP#1 10/17/11, m/c due to SCH 11/21/11 @ 8w4d; BFP#2 2/26/12, baby girl arrived 11/1/12; BFP#3 12/3/13, EDD: 8/18/14.

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  • A point not a pony
    BFP#1 10/17/11, m/c due to SCH 11/21/11 @ 8w4d; BFP#2 2/26/12, baby girl arrived 11/1/12; BFP#3 12/3/13, EDD: 8/18/14.

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  • @glaw - I still come out ahead...but not by much. What I meant is that she ends up making more per hour than I do after I pay her. So, if I make 25 per hour on average and pay her 15, I am only taking home $10 after I pay her. It may be backwards logic...really, though, that is besides the point and doesn't matter. What matters is I pay her above the going rate in our area and I try to treat her well and he fair. I know people who have 2 kids and pay their nanny who works 50 hours a week less than I pay mine.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • @Ibackbevo - I totally get where you are coming from and wanting to be fair to your nanny. But I think it's a little backwards to reward her before she's proven herself to you. If she's getting a high salary, lots of PTO, etc...then you don't even have room to give her a raise in the future assuming she were deserving of such. I feel like a lot of people assume if they pay their nanny handsomely then that guarantees the nanny will take good care of the kids. Unfortunately I haven't seen it work out that way. It's like anything else in life where if you don't earn what you have you don't appreciate it. I don't think she should be paid slave wages by any means, but the salary should start out somewhere more within the norm of what others pay in your area. You're not doing yourself or the nanny any favors by paying more. If she ends up being reliable, trustworthy, good with kids, then give her a bonus or raise. I prefer intermittent bonuses otherwise people come to expect yearly raises and at some point that becomes unsustainable. If I were you I would cut my losses here, look for someone else and clearly lay out both of your expectations for hours worked, pay, bonuses if any, raise policies if any, and since you're so inclined, MINIMAL PTO that required 2 weeks advance notice to you. Unless she's so sick that she can get a doctors note saying she absolutely should not leave the house or she's super contagious then - any last minute cancellation is on her dime. Absolutely unacceptable to leave you in the lurch like that and require your sick mother to travel into town for childcare.
    BFP#1 10/17/11, m/c due to SCH 11/21/11 @ 8w4d; BFP#2 2/26/12, baby girl arrived 11/1/12; BFP#3 12/3/13, EDD: 8/18/14.

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  • As an aside, I didn't pay her for the two days she called in at the last minute on...that was where the controversy was. She asked for the time off on the one week well in advance and we like her and gave it to her paid. The controversy came in the other two days which I did not feel I should have to pay for. ..and I didn't. And I let her know that I felt like she put me in a bind. I guess because she thought because she asked for them off and I said it was ok that she assumed they were paid. But I never told her that. I told her I would give her the week off paid In advance.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • @glaw -I hear what you are saying and don't disagree. Her pay rate was negotiated. We paid her above the going rate because she has alot of experience....for us, it is a lot but I get the impression she feels that she is underpaid. She has several times made a point of saying she used to make more. I think part of what she doesn't realize is that nannies just aren't paid as well around here as what she is used to. She recently moved here from the west coast. I think the only way she would make more around here was if she was caring for multiple children.

    As an aside, she is a good employee. She is great with DS. Always on time. Helps out around the house. I don't want to lose her. Especially because I am pregnant with number 2. But there are also certain things we just can't do because they don't make financial sense. I like the idea of giving her pto for the days she doesn't work because of us (ie we take vacation) and giving her major holidays that fall on a normal work day. Giving her the above would probably by itself amount to 12 to 15 days of pto a year.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • Well I'm glad she didn't get paid for those 2 days but why when you didn't have backup arrangers did u agree to her last minute request for time off? I would've told her I have no alt care and I expect her to be there. If she didn't show then I wouldn't been stuck taking leave from work and I would've fired her and spent those days looking for new childcare.
    BFP#1 10/17/11, m/c due to SCH 11/21/11 @ 8w4d; BFP#2 2/26/12, baby girl arrived 11/1/12; BFP#3 12/3/13, EDD: 8/18/14.

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  • We did as others do - if we were telling her she didn't have to come, we paid her.  We did come up with an agreement though - we would pay her for time she took off, but only if she made it up at other times.  She did an overnight for us one time, and she would do some afternoons/evenings that weren't her normal responsibility.  It worked out well for us!  She worked for us for about nine months, then we moved.  
    TTC#1 = Success on Cycle#19 with Clomid/trigger/b2b IUIs; beta#1 (15dpiui) 200, #2 (18dpiui) 433, #3 (22dpiui) 2356; TTC#2 = Surprise BFP 9/2009; TTC#3 = m/c at 6 wks, 10/29/11; BFP#2 4/1/2012... Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @IBackBevo - I totally get how hard it is to find good help. In this case maybe sit down an have a serious honest talk. Be fair but be firm - she cannot expect you to find last minute backup care for a non-emergency I-want-to-have-fun-with-my-friends day AND expect to get paid for it. Wouldn't work for anyone in any job. Good luck figuring it all out! I know many people will say this is why they use daycare but if you can find a really good reliable nanny for your pre-preschooler then I think it's better than most daycares. Hope it all works out!
    BFP#1 10/17/11, m/c due to SCH 11/21/11 @ 8w4d; BFP#2 2/26/12, baby girl arrived 11/1/12; BFP#3 12/3/13, EDD: 8/18/14.

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  • @JellyBellyStar Anyone who knows me IRL would never say I was a pushover, lol. I usually get called the opposite. The only reason I may seem like that with respect to my nanny is because this is the third (and best) nanny we have had and I don't want to lose her. First I fired and second moved. And I am not sure what you are referring to with respect to my boss.

    I have looked into daycare extensively but there is nothing in the area I feel comfortable with or that meets our needs... and with the latest bouts of colds and croup that has run through our house (and with number 2 on the way), I think we will definitely be sticking with a nanny. If for some reason we parted ways with this one, we would probably still look for another.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • I would do zero PTO. I was a FT nanny for years. I only took off for my wedding and I never expected it to be paid. I got strep once and was off two days. I didn't ask to be paid. I was paid well when I was at work and I respected that they needed to work if I wanted to be paid. We had a very informal agreement but we respected each other and it worked. Sounds like you are being taken advantage of. Time to write up a formal agreement and /or find new childcare.
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  • jwthoms1 said:

    I would do zero PTO. I was a FT nanny for years. I only took off for my wedding and I never expected it to be paid. I got strep once and was off two days. I didn't ask to be paid. I was paid well when I was at work and I respected that they needed to work if I wanted to be paid. We had a very informal agreement but we respected each other and it worked. Sounds like you are being taken advantage of. Time to write up a formal agreement and /or find new childcare.

    Did you get paid for holidays? What about if your employers went on vacation?
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • No, if I didn't work then I didn't get paid. Like Labor Day, if they stayed home with their kids then I didn't get paid. At Christmas, they would give me a generous check/Christmas present. I went with them on two beach vacations so I was paid for that. I don't remember any substantial vacations they took without me. They might go away for the weekend but that didn't effect me.
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  • IBackBevo said:
    @JellyBellyStar Anyone who knows me IRL would never say I was a pushover, lol. I usually get called the opposite. The only reason I may seem like that with respect to my nanny is because this is the third (and best) nanny we have had and I don't want to lose her. First I fired and second moved. And I am not sure what you are referring to with respect to my boss.

    I think I understand what JellyBelly was trying to say.  You have posted on here numerous times about how you work way more hours than your PT agreement, do not receive any extra pay, got almost no bonus last year, and are getting stuck paying your nanny on your "off days" when you are not being paid.  You also got no maternity pay, which is not typical in your field.  Your boss is treating you like shit.  So maybe you are not a "pushover" but you are being taken advantage of.

    I know I am just an internet stranger, but it sounds to me that you need a new job and a daycare center.

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  • jf198400 said:


    IBackBevo said:

    @JellyBellyStar Anyone who knows me IRL would never say I was a pushover, lol. I usually get called the opposite. The only reason I may seem like that with respect to my nanny is because this is the third (and best) nanny we have had and I don't want to lose her. First I fired and second moved. And I am not sure what you are referring to with respect to my boss.

    I think I understand what JellyBelly was trying to say.  You have posted on here numerous times about how you work way more hours than your PT agreement, do not receive any extra pay, got almost no bonus last year, and are getting stuck paying your nanny on your "off days" when you are not being paid.  You also got no maternity pay, which is not typical in your field.  Your boss is treating you like shit.  So maybe you are not a "pushover" but you are being taken advantage of.

    I know I am just an internet stranger, but it sounds to me that you need a new job and a daycare center.

    I posted on here asking for advice on talking to him months ago. I did and things have gotten better. My work load has been lightened significantly since I confronted the issue. I think there has been only 1 extra day I have worked since May and then I got/took a comp day off. How is that being a pushover?

    As an aside, i am pretty sure I have not posted about this since shortly after Mother's Day...

    Regardless of whether you or anyone else thinks my boss treats me poorly, I am at my job for two important reasons:

    1. It is close to my home. I spent 4 years spending 1.5 to 2 hours a day in traffic commuting to downtown Houston.Now my commute is a fraction of that. More time to spend with my son...for me that is priceless!

    2. It allows me to work part time which is very, very rare in the field of commercial litigation. Again, for me, that is priceless.

    While I appreciate your passionate concern for how you think I am being treated, I don't think leaving my job and sacrificing the aforementioned would increase my quality of life (or my family's) or my overall happiness. Life is about choices. Just because I make different ones than someone else would make doesn't make those choices wrong.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

    May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
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  • kind of lurking on this board as I'm not a working mom yet (due in April...)

    But when I was a nanny twice a week, I was NEVER paid for times I couldn't go in, nor should I be. Part time employees don't need PTO. I was paid for times when the kids mom told me they didn't need me on a certain day if it was a day that I would normally work, but if I said that I couldn't go in next Wednesday, they would never have still paid me nor would I have expected them too. That's a bit ridiculous!
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  • Yikes, are you supposed to give PTO to nannies? I haven't been. If you don't work, you don't get paid. My nanny is only part-time. Part-time employers normally don't give benefits so neither would I.

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