This one is a gem..

Violet1372 · September 2013

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12076403/am-i-being-unreasonable-just-need-insight/p4

Now I totally agree that the day care should have called her first.. but seriously.. to say the things she did about formula... she is just nuts.

jlp0528 · September 2013

What a complete asshole. I can't even wrap my brain around her comments.

cputman200 · September 2013

All I can say is WOW! She sounds extra special!

Gcrebel2006 · September 2013

The daycare definitely should have called her. What if the baby had a terrible reaction to the formula? I would be livid at the lack of communication, but her bashing of formula is ridiculous! Her comparison of formula to pepsi is beyond absurd.

ETA: Did you catch her follow up post? https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12077676/the-reason-i-hardly-post#latest

Jenmarie279 · September 2013

I agree that the daycare should have definitely called her, but the stuff she is saying about formula is ridiculous.

jlp0528 · September 2013

Gcrebel2006 said:
The daycare definitely should have called her. What if the baby had a terrible reaction to the formula? I would be livid at the lack of communication, but her bashing of formula is ridiculous! Her comparison of formula to pepsi is beyond absurd.

ETA: Did you catch her follow up post? https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12077676/the-reason-i-hardly-post#latest

Agreed they should've called. Does she not see people agree with that? I read the next post you shared and couldn't stop myself from posting. I'm not a mom just yet but I'm nervous I won't be able to BF, just a fear I have but her treating people who cannot bf like vermin is such douchery.

Violet1372 · September 2013

Gcrebel2006 said:

The daycare definitely should have called her. What if the baby had a terrible reaction to the formula? I would be livid at the lack of communication, but her bashing of formula is ridiculous! Her comparison of formula to pepsi is beyond absurd.

ETA: Did you catch her follow up post? https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12077676/the-reason-i-hardly-post#latest

I did not see this I am going to read it now.. and yes I do agree that they should have called her to get her approval on the formula but that is the only thing she said that had any kind of logic to it.

strlitemiss · September 2013

My question is why wouldn't she provide extra bm in the first place in case babe gets hungrier then normal or some gets spilled, like it did, or there's some kind of issue?

imakeeff0rts · September 2013

...there are no words.

HBirdie · September 2013

I don't know, I've only read half of the first page so far, but I don't think she's being that crazy. Some people really don't believe in giving their kid formula, and that's okay. There IS a lot of crap in formula, and I am going to do everything in my power to avoid it. Besides not wanting to give my baby all of the ingredients in formula, there's the "virgin gut" theory to consider- that it's absolutely best for your baby to ingest nothing but breast milk until six months. It sets them up for a lifetime of better health with less allergies/sensitivities, and lower chances of digestive/intestinal problems later in life.

From what I've read so far, it doesn't seem like OP goes out of her way to make FF moms feel bad, she simply continues to state that it's against HER wishes and it's unacceptable for HER family. I don't know why that's a bad thing. In my opinion, I think moms that FF can be sensitive to people's opinions on BF'ing (and I completely understand why, as some of them are overbearing and ridiculous and DO set out to make people feel guilty), and that may be the case here... she wasn't saying that no one should FF, just that she didn't want to. Likening it to Pepsi was definitely extreme and a off-base, but overall, I don't think she's that nuts.

I'll keep reading, maybe her comments get worse...?

A37licia · September 2013

HBirdie said:

I don't know, I've only read half of the first page so far, but I don't think she's being that crazy. Some people really don't believe in giving their kid formula, and that's okay. There IS a lot of crap in formula, and I am going to do everything in my power to avoid it. Besides not wanting to give my baby all of the ingredients in formula, there's the "virgin gut" theory to consider- that it's absolutely best for your baby to ingest nothing but breast milk until six months. It sets them up for a lifetime of better health with less allergies/sensitivities, and lower chances of digestive/intestinal problems later in life.
From what I've read so far, it doesn't seem like OP goes out of her way to make FF moms feel bad, she simply continues to state that it's against HER wishes and it's unacceptable for HER family. I don't know why that's a bad thing. In my opinion, I think moms that FF can be sensitive to people's opinions on BF'ing (and I completely understand why, as some of them are overbearing and ridiculous and DO set out to make people feel guilty), and that may be the case here... she wasn't saying that no one should FF, just that she didn't want to. Likening it to Pepsi was definitely extreme and a off-base, but overall, I don't think she's that nuts.

I'll keep reading, maybe her comments get worse...?

I also don't think she was bashing any other mom who used formula - she stated for their family, it was out of the question. I think it's fine to have that perspective and make a choice for your family. Her preference is donor milk, and for my family personally, my next choice after that would be a homemade formula that doesn't contain synthetic vitamins, corn syrup and GMO ingredients like many formulas contain. It would be more affordable for our family to make it than the best organic formula I could find.

Most moms who FF would love to BF, and it's been a heartache for them. That doesn't mean another mom can't be staunchly against having her baby given any...I pushed back a lot with the NICU about avoiding formula even once for Silas - that's my personal take because of the other options I'd rather do first. And I, like her, would be furious if the day care gave it without my consent, just as I would have been if the NICU staff gave Silas formula without my consent.

There are tons of things that one mom feels strongly about that another doesn't...that's the nature of choices we have, and one moms choice isn't a judgment against another mom. I have lots of friends who FF and they're fantastic mothers who are doing an awesome job caring for their babies.

MrsClaus8 · September 2013

I laughed so hard I was in tears at the Hellboy gif!
Also, the OP needs to just shut it down. I can't believe she called the health dept on them in hopes that they lose their licensing. She actually HOPES that people lose their jobs and parents lose their child care all over a few ounces of formula?!?! If that's not bsc, I don't know what is!

HBirdie · September 2013

A37licia said:

HBirdie said:

I don't know, I've only read half of the first page so far, but I don't think she's being that crazy. Some people really don't believe in giving their kid formula, and that's okay. There IS a lot of crap in formula, and I am going to do everything in my power to avoid it. Besides not wanting to give my baby all of the ingredients in formula, there's the "virgin gut" theory to consider- that it's absolutely best for your baby to ingest nothing but breast milk until six months. It sets them up for a lifetime of better health with less allergies/sensitivities, and lower chances of digestive/intestinal problems later in life.
From what I've read so far, it doesn't seem like OP goes out of her way to make FF moms feel bad, she simply continues to state that it's against HER wishes and it's unacceptable for HER family. I don't know why that's a bad thing. In my opinion, I think moms that FF can be sensitive to people's opinions on BF'ing (and I completely understand why, as some of them are overbearing and ridiculous and DO set out to make people feel guilty), and that may be the case here... she wasn't saying that no one should FF, just that she didn't want to. Likening it to Pepsi was definitely extreme and a off-base, but overall, I don't think she's that nuts.

I'll keep reading, maybe her comments get worse...?

I also don't think she was bashing any other mom who used formula - she stated for their family, it was out of the question. I think it's fine to have that perspective and make a choice for your family. Her preference is donor milk, and for my family personally, my next choice after that would be a homemade formula that doesn't contain synthetic vitamins, corn syrup and GMO ingredients like many formulas contain. It would be more affordable for our family to make it than the best organic formula I could find.

Most moms who FF would love to BF, and it's been a heartache for them. That doesn't mean another mom can't be staunchly against having her baby given any...I pushed back a lot with the NICU about avoiding formula even once for Silas - that's my personal take because of the other options I'd rather do first. And I, like her, would be furious if the day care gave it without my consent, just as I would have been if the NICU staff gave Silas formula without my consent.

There are tons of things that one mom feels strongly about that another doesn't...that's the nature of choices we have, and one moms choice isn't a judgment against another mom. I have lots of friends who FF and they're fantastic mothers who are doing an awesome job caring for their babies.

Yup, I'm totally with you. As moms we get to choose our battles, and she's chosen this. I don't see why that's such a bad thing. Yeah, she probably could've stated her beliefs more gently, and there's definitely a little bit of an overreaction on her part, just because it only happened ONE time, and in the long run that probably won't affect her kid negatively. But I'm surprised she isn't getting more support. I've made it through page 3 now.

Good for you, for standing up for what you believe in! I'm really nervous that this will happen to me and I don't know how I'm going to deal with it. Hopefully it won't be an issue.

HBirdie · September 2013

MrsClaus8 said:

I laughed so hard I was in tears at the Hellboy gif! Also, the OP needs to just shut it down. I can't believe she called the health dept on them in hopes that they lose their licensing. She actually HOPES that people lose their jobs and parents lose their child care all over a few ounces of formula?!?! If that's not bsc, I don't know what is!

Whoa, haven't gotten that far yet. Yup, that's being very unreasonable! If you're really that upset, pull your kid out of that daycare!

HBirdie · September 2013

Loppy19 said:

You can't not want your kid to have formula all you want, but there's a nice way to say that (like you both did) and there's a BSC way to say it. The OP chose the BSC way.

Agreed. She went over the top. Just read her follow up comment, something something something about flaming me "because you know you didn't make the best decision for your baby."

Talk about adding fuel to the fire :O

A37licia · September 2013

HBirdie said:

Loppy19 said:

You can't not want your kid to have formula all you want, but there's a nice way to say that (like you both did) and there's a BSC way to say it. The OP chose the BSC way.

Agreed. She went over the top. Just read her follow up comment, something something something about flaming me "because you know you didn't make the best decision for your baby."

Talk about adding fuel to the fire :O

Yeah, at some point people should just stop.

HBirdie · September 2013

Just read this comment, which made my head explode...

"I chose to FF from the beginning. Didn't even try to BF. My baby is just as healthy as the next BF baby. WHO CARES WHAT MY BABY EATS, as long as she's being fed. It's not going to make her fat and unhealthy. Believe me, I was FF 30 years ago and I weigh 110lbs soaking wet. "

Well, apparently YOU don't care. Even though that's your job, no one else's. Ugh. I am NOT going to comment on this thread. I am NOT going to comment on this thread. I am NOT...

A37licia · September 2013

Loppy19 said:

Loppy19 said:

You can't not want your kid to have formula all you want, but there's a nice way to say that (like you both did) and there's a BSC way to say it. The OP chose the BSC way.

Agreed. She went over the top. Just read her follow up comment, something something something about flaming me "because you know you didn't make the best decision for your baby."

Talk about adding fuel to the fire :O
My biggest issue with formulas are the people who make it. I fully support women in their right to choose BM/donor milk/formula. But it's expensive, they target nursing moms with their advertisements (formula for nursing moms? WTF?), and it isn't sterile or made with the best ingredients. There should be better options available to those who don't nurse and aren't comfortable with/don't have access to donor milk... Without costing a fortune.

Agreed.

HeatherMc78 · September 2013

I don't usually let hot topics on the bump get under my skin. But WOW!!!! I FF my children due to a med I have to be on. I am furious and amazed at the igorance of people. I'm going to sit in a corner and Woosha right now.

MJHershey · September 2013

Ugh I love overzealous BFers.
8-|

MegStark · September 2013

I'm glad OP pointed out that formula = Pepsi. Pepsi is way cheaper. I think I'll start my LO off on Pepsi and see how it goes.

Nukke · September 2013

Forget the formula issue, the OP is a complete monster for feeding her LO breastmilk FROM A BOTTLE! Doesn't she know that 'breast is best'? She has screwed her LO FOR LIFE now.

SweetPeaK26 · September 2013

While the day care could/should have called, if the OP is THAT against it, she should have prepared better for possible situations like this. Send more milk, send it in ready to go bottles so that it can't be spilled etc.

Aside from that, one time won't kill anyone, and sometimes in life, you just need to be flexible in the understanding that sometimes, shit just happens. Getting and staying worked up about it won't change it. I'm sure she has /will make the daycare VERY aware of her feelings, so it doesn't happen again, but she can't take it out of her kids body now.

AppleMuffins · September 2013

I get her frustration and anger. I worked in a daycare and feeding a child anything that wasn't theirs was a big no-no. It could definitely be a big problem if there had been an allergy or something. I would be absolutely livid if the daycare didn't call me and just assumed it was ok to give formula without my consent. It's just not ok and is very poor practice. Same holds true for if my child is older and eating solids and they're sharing food with someone else or being given snacks I hadn't approved, etc. It's not as big a deal once they move to the 12+ month classrooms, but in the infant room, it really matters.

That said, she totally went off the deep end. Formula =/= Pepsi. She can be against it, and that's her prerogative, but she was definitely became offensive for those who do use formula. It's ok to not want something for your child, but you don't need to be comparing formula to poison or Pepsi!

jlp0528 · September 2013

I just am beyond bothered by her telling women if they do feel guilty about FF they should examine themselves. Like all FF moms have the choice and should rethink it. Like many women posted they have medical issues, ie a double mastectomy and cannot BF. It's just really distasteful and thoughtless for her to tell others who FF they should think about their guilt. Should she be upset they didn't call her- yes, should she be upset they ff her child without her consent, yes, should she backhandedly put down moms who FF- hell no.

imakeeff0rts · September 2013

HeatherMc78 said:

I don't usually let hot topics on the bump get under my skin. But WOW!!!! I FF my children due to a med I have to be on. I am furious and amazed at the igorance of people. I'm going to sit in a corner and Woosha right now.

That's why people were getting so upset. The fact that she was saying what she did about formula, and insinuating that people that do FF are somehow poisoning their children is completely disgusting. What if, like you, moms can't BF because of medications that they have to take for their own health? Or, what if there were issues latching, there's something in the mother's diet that the child is allergic to that the doctor and parent are unable to pinpoint, etc?

I'm all about people being committed to BFing or whatever. Personally, someone FFing or Bfing makes no difference to me whatsoever. And I'm glad that she and her husband made the decision to eat a healthy diet, etc. But to take it as far as she has is completely absurd. What happens when her kid gets older, goes to a sleepover or whatever, and the mom feeds him pizza? Is she going to call CPS on the mom for "undoing all of [her] hard work?"

It's just...ugh.

ETA: My choice, if unable to BF for whatever reason, would be to pump or use donor milk, too. But I don't have access to donor milk in my area. I have access to random people willing to donate milk, but I'm not comfortable accepting milk that hasn't been tested for diseases, etc.

I agree that the daycare center should have called her, but to spew her ignorance and judgmental bullshit is unbelievable.

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