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Should I go for it?

Erin Mary AckermanErin Mary Ackerman member
in Blended Families

My mother is owed 50K+ in back child support from my father.  She told me that if I do the detective work and get the money I can have it.

I have no emotional/moral qualms about going after this money as I feel that a father SHOULD pay for his children.  I lived on government cheese and my dear grandparent scrubbed toilets so I could got to school-this money is definately owed to my mother and family.

I'm just not sure if it's worth it to hunt down back support after 15 years...anyone have thoughts?

(and thanks to Serendipity for all teh CS posts today that got me thinking about this again!)

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Re: Should I go for it?

  • FloF9FloF9 member
    I would be on the research so fast .............50k - holy cannoli!!!
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  • DaringMissDaringMiss member
    There may be a statute of limitations on collecting child support. ?Also, since you accepted state/federal aid during your childhood, those agencies may go after their share of the pie. ?A quick consultation with a family law lawyer (or the child services agency in your home state) might give yout eh facts you need to determine whether or not this search will be worth the effort.
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  • Mrs.Astros_FanMrs.Astros_Fan
    Absolutely go for it.  Your father should have been paying CS all along.  That debt doesn't disappear just because you are older.
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  • Serendipity07Serendipity07
    I would def consult an attorney on this and see what they have to say...
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  • CampanitaCampanita

    I think you should go after this.  Not just for the financial rewards but as a stand on being able to right the wrong.  Your father left your family to deal with HIS responsibility and didn't seem to care right? 

    He owes this to you, your mother, and your whole family that was there while he did only God knows what!  Maybe do something really neat for your Momma for all her hard work.  Plus think of what you can do for your kiddos too . . . after all this is YOUR money. 

    Good luck!!

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  • MrsSledgeMrsSledge
    I say give it a shot.  Your family spent alot raising you without his help it could be a nice little nest egg.
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  • MrsBPOMrsBPO member

    You may locate him and go after him but it's your mother who will have to file.  At least in the states with which I am familiar.  The child support is for monies paid by the parent, not the child, to support the child.  So any litigation will have to be done by her and not by you.

    There also may well be a statute of limitations for child support.

    Just putting that out there for you.  But yes, talk to an attorney.


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  • jpowell3jpowell3
    I would go for it and then surprise your mom & grandparents with a nice vacation, or something to thank them for all of their years of hard work. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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  • hindsight's_a_biotchhindsight's_a_biotch member
    I'd talk to a lawyer. If it all worked out, I'd use a decent portion of it to pay for the munchkin's college. He may not have been much use to you but he can provide for his grandbaby.


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  • MrsHKMrsHK member

    I'd do it and I have. Though it was money I could file for myself since BM had legal "custody" of me though I had been financially responsible for myself. I did it partly to teach her a lesson and also my own vengfulness (probably not a word) at the time. I was trying to get financial aid for college and needed her tax forms in order to file. She wouldn't give them to me because she didn't have to. So in reminding her of the things she wasn't made to do despite that she was suppose to I ended up taking her to court for child support. The judge seriously put her in her place, it was pretty great. Her check was garnished and automatically sent to me.

    Like pp said though you'll need to consult a family lawyer in your area for details. Even if you win you may never see any of the money. However, I do think it's something important to do to teach deadbeats a lesson. Some of these people, like my BM, just don't live in reality. 

    Proverbs 12:10 "A righteous man cares for the needs of his animals ChipMonkey 3/19/08 *** Turtle 1/26/10 *** CarBear 10/06/11
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  • sdc81sdc81 member
    I guess it depends on what your relationship with your father was worth. Was it worth just the money, or worth knowing him better? Either way, I get being tempted by it, it's a lot of money. If it were me, I think I'd do it only to give it back to my mom and my grandparent(s) to say, "Thank you" for all they did in the face of not getting paid from your BD.
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  • j+kj+k

    I think you should only do it if you intend to do a few things with it.

    Personally, if I were in your shoes, I'd do it only to use it to make sure my mother lives a comfortable life in her remaining years. I'd put it toward charity, or  a college education for my children.

    I would not do it if you intend to waste it on frivolous things. Because regardless of you saying that's you have no emotional qualms and reservations...this will be emotional to some degree.  It will bring up anger, hurt, sadness...you  name it and to go thru all of that and not do something meaningful...would be a complete waste.

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