Is there a polite way to ask smokers to stay away??

Dishylo · September 2013

My new assistant is a smoker and maybe it's a combo of me being a bit sensitive due to being pg but also due to the fact that I packed up a few months ago....but every time she comes near me and I smell the cigarettes on her, I honestly feel like I might vomit. It is such a strong smell and it really grosses me out so I've started breathing through my mouth when she's nearby so that I don't have to smell the cigarettes.

Is there a polite way to tell an employee to stay away from you after they've smoked? It's always a bit touchy when it's an employee as you can't tell them what to do or what not to do etc.

Advice appreciated.

sept9107bride · September 2013

I think this might be a tough one. My best advice would be keep the convo short and make an excuse to leave. You can always keep up other communications via email at least until LO is here.

Dishylo · September 2013

I did try that but as she's relatively new and still in the "learning process" she comes into my office a lot to ask questions. Luckily I will be away for a week (in another 10 days time) but I just don't know how to deal with it in the meantime :S

As an aside I now feel bad for anybody I inflicted with my nasty cigarette smells while I was smoking!

lolinshag · September 2013

What about put a fan behind you? When she comes in, turn it on and it should spray the smell away from you?

Dishylo · September 2013

Hahaha @lolinshag - I just laughed so loudly I'm sure the rest of the staff think I'm mad!!

Somehow I don't think that would be appropriate

RingOfFire11 · September 2013

I agree that cigarette smoke smells gross and can be offensive. However, I think telling her would be kind of like telling someone their perfume stinks or they have BO. It may come off really rude and hurt feelings. I'd just do my best to keep conversations short or through email. Do you have the option for Instant Messenger? I talk with my employees through chat which keeps them from coming in my office all day long.

lolinshag · September 2013

Lol. Oh well! How about keeping a thing of vicks around. She comes in and you can put a dab under your nose. They use it at crime scenes to cover up smells, so its gotta work right? Just tell everyone you baby has your sinus' all messed up!

ac1259 · September 2013

Could you pull the pregnancy card and say, I'm sorry my nose is really sensitive right now is there anyway you could wait a few minutes after you smoke to come in here? or offer her some gum or something?

Or you could play up the fact that you used to smoke so it doesn't seem like you're being judgey and maybe say "it's really hard for me right now since I've quit so the smell of cigarette smoke gets to me"? Idk which would work better or if I'd actually feel comfortable speaking up to someone like that in person but it's no fun to have a smell that bothers you in close proximity. I hope you figure out some way to bring it up nicely!

bnik · September 2013

At my job(a restaurant) before I quit I told everyone they smelled. "Oh hey you look nice today but your perfume smells like shit" or "hey how much weed did you smoke this morning, you stink . Noooo dobt spray that perfume now you really stink" but everyone thought I was joking

Dishylo · September 2013

@lolinshag you are seriously cracking me up!!!

Thanks for the ideas ladies. Must tread carefully where staff are involved and will give it some serious thinking.

@RingOfFire11 - I wish we could use messenger but we have firewalls which don't allow it. Ho-hum, I shall put up and shut up.

MarkandAbbi · September 2013

We have a smoking policy for those smokers they have to use perfume and/or mouth wash after smoking due to close contact with clients. It makes it soooo nice for me. I didn't like the smell before I became pregnant but hate it even more now.

buckeyebride22 · September 2013

I've never been a smoker so I'm probably not the nicest about it. I've told friends to wash their hands/brush their teeth/ spray something before. If I'm in public and don't know them I glare and cough loudly. I've blown smoke back in a guys face before. Gosh I'm bitchy! It literally makes me sick though.

I would phrase it like ac said I think.

hopeful808 · September 2013

Is she coming in your space to work or do you go into hers. If it's her space you are limited but, if it's your assigned work space I would speak up. However, I am allergic to cigarette smoke and asthmatic so if I don't speak up then I could end up in trouble.

I would ask her to please wash her hands after she smokes before returning to work. That might be enough to give her the hint that she smells of cigarettes but, if not it at least makes it more sanitary. If she is smoking and bringing her hands close to/against her lips then going and touching objects around the office she could be spreading germs.

KristaBelieve · September 2013

Yep, I'm with @BMReid and @buckeyebride22 my communication style is already considered extremely blunt so this topic is no different, even to strangers. I wave my hand and cough. We were at a restaurant and my DH made some guys move away from the door who were smoking telling them it was blowing into my face. Luckily most people are surprised you actually say something to them they just move rather than make a scene. I have an employee who smokes and she is well aware I hate it and she can't come into my office until she has washed and aired out a bit. If she forgets I tell her she needs to come back because I can still smell her smoke. My direct style works in these cases since people know I don't tip toe around issues. BTW, I also tell over-the-top perfume users the same thing. ** I live in CA and almost everywhere is non-smoking so it's not as bad here.

I do like @ac1259 suggestion to blame your overly sensitive pregnancy nose/sickness. Most people would get that immediately.

MiaMyPuggle · September 2013

I'm an ass and make it obvious that I loathe smoking. I cover my mouth when I walk past smokers. I usually say something under my breath when they are smoking right at the entrance to a mall or store or restaurant (no smoking signs are posted) with DS in tow. I'm trying to prevent my son from 2nd hand smoke inhalation! That was dramatic, but I do hate that he has to breathe it in and not by choice!

ETA: I'd prob play dumb and say, "oh man, did you just smoke or was that someone else? I have such an adversion to that smell with this pregnancy an I used to smoke!"

ashleywiz · September 2013

I agree with PP when they say, just tell them it's gross. A good friend of mine is a total closet smoker, but she knows how much I despise the smell of smoke and smoking in general-- soooo guess who I never see/smell/notice smoking... her! Then again, like the others have said, I'm a very blunt person, and smoking STINKS, literally.

I think if you tell her politely that not only do your pregnant senses have the cigarette smoke on overdrive in your nose, but that since you're a recent non-smoker it's even more difficult to handle, so if she should try to be a little more incognito about it, you'd appreciate it. Nowadays, smokers are fully aware that their habit is gross, so generally, they're responsive if you just say something straight up about it.

Hope your poor nose gets a break soon!

Dishylo · September 2013

Thanks gang, I'll try and tell her in a nice, diplomatic way so that she knows she can still smoke (it is her choice) but that I am sensitive to it.

You've got to be careful with how you word things to employees these days!

angiek1 · September 2013

Have you thought about bringing up the e-cig topic? They are really popular in my area and people don't smell!! My avid cigarette smoking friends said they could never go back to regular cigarettes now that they've used e-cigarette.

Maybe causally bring them up one day like "gosh it seems all my friends are hopping on the e-cigarette movement" or something...

But yea no advice on how to tactfully say something. I think it is what it is.

Ladams30 · September 2013

Just be nice and say it tactfully. It won't hurt her to hear it - I'm sure she's heard it before.

I was always one of the nice smokers. I stood well away from entrances, I constantly washed my hairs, I used a light body spray on my hair and clothes. I hated smelling like smoke but loved to smoke - so I was always careful to make sure others weren't bothered by it.

Dishylo · September 2013

Teehee @Ladams30 - you washed your hairs?? That gave me a giggle.

I was always a polite smoker too. If I saw kids around I'd move and actually hide my cigarette, I didn't want them to see me smoking - even strangers.

PreDempsey · September 2013

MiaMyPuggle said:

I'm an ass and make it obvious that I loathe smoking. I cover my mouth when I walk past smokers. I usually say something under my breath when they are smoking right at the entrance to a mall or store or restaurant (no smoking signs are posted) with DS in tow. I'm trying to prevent my son from 2nd hand smoke inhalation! That was dramatic, but I do hate that he has to breathe it in and not by choice! ETA: I'd prob play dumb and say, "oh man, did you just smoke or was that someone else? I have such an adversion to that smell with this pregnancy an I used to smoke!"

This drives me bat shit crazy. I hate when people hover around a public entrance and do it when people and children obviously have to walk right by. We were at an event one weekend and a woman, who knows I'm pregnant, lit up multiple times right next to me. I almost lost my mind.

Ladams30 · September 2013

LOL, @Dishylo, I meant hands! But I'm sure you figured that out

twobluelines · September 2013

I think being polite and honest and direct is perfectly ok here. Tell her that you are sorry to bring it up to her, but because of your pregnancy you are particularly sensitive to smells and would appreciate if she could wash her hands after a cigarette break. Being passive aggressive about it won't get you anywhere I don't think.

BabyChill · September 2013

I have many different types of people (and smells from them) to come in to my office all day every day - the best thing I have found is a spray from Bath and Body Works. It is called Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin. I use it all year round but it is a awesome fall/winter scent so it is perfect for this time of year. It covers up all the smells! I would recommend trying that. I have always had bad allergies to smoke so I started doing this years ago. Hope it helps! :-)

Dishylo · September 2013

Thanks @BabyChill - that might work and it'd make my office smell nice (especially on the days when my pooch is here!)

CRUN2012 · September 2013

MarkandAbbi said:

We have a smoking policy for those smokers they have to use perfume and/or mouth wash after smoking due to close contact with clients. It makes it soooo nice for me. I didn't like the smell before I became pregnant but hate it even more now.

This is the same for me as well at work. We are non-smoking facility and we are even thinking of implementing a policy of making employees change their clothes if they choose to smoke. I think that's a bit much and I don't even know how it would work...but it works to my benefit as a non-smoker.

COgirl29 · September 2013

Have you thought about mentioning it to HR? At my last job - one employee had really bad body odor, and one reeked of cigarette smoke. Someone must have brought it up to HR bc I know they had a private conversation with both of them to discuss and the next day both of them smelled soooo much better.

That way - it's taken care of, but she wouldn't know it's coming from you? If its that strong to you - it's probably pretty bad for others too!

Dishylo · September 2013

@COgirl29 - we're a small enough company that we are the owners as well as HR. My boss (aka my Father) is away but I'll let him deal with it when he gets back.

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