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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
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Terrible Fits

NdsalesNdsales member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
HI, I'm usually on the blended family board, but I have a question about DS, attitude. He turned 14 months on Aug 21. For the past month he has had a horrible temper. If he doesnt get his way, or if I have to go to the bathroom, or if he cannot see his Daycare provider fully, he will scream and cry and ends up gasping for breath. Is this a normal Stage? We were driving home from a trip and He screamed for 2 hours and cried. Taking him out of the carseat did nothing. He still cried until he was gasping. Daycare finally started sitting him down on the couch until he calms down. I'm at a loss. He cannot get into the cupboard under the sink, and he knows this, but he will still pull on it and scream and cry until he is gasping. After work last night he did the same thing on the way home.
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Re: Terrible Fits

  • NdsalesNdsales member
    My concern is he is going to get kicked out of daycare. I will ususally sit down on the ground next to him and wait till it passes.
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  • tbmadeamistaketbmadeamistake member

    I second normal.  Mine will do that for a few weeks, stop, and then start again.  I try to comfort and if she won't let me, I'll sit next to her.  Generally at some point she'll realize I'm there and come over for comforting.  I also don't think she'd get kicked out of daycare for it, though I'm not sure she throws full blown fits there.  I do know that she flips out at dc if someone else gets lunch first, or if her favorite teacher leaves the room, so fits do happen, I just don't think that they are her kicking/screaming/failing on the ground fits like at home. 

    Married DH 7/30/11

    CSC arrived 5/7/12 

    CHC arrived 6/2/14

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  • NdsalesNdsales member
    Daycare has put him in time out twice this week for fits. He is at a smaller home daycare where he is one of 3 kids. All boys,he is the youngest then 2 and 4. Daycare hasnt mentioned to me until this week that he has been acting up, and Tuesday was the first day he was in time out, and then again this moring.
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  • JENandJEHJENandJEH member
    That all sounds very normal for that age and if you're that concerned with daycare possibly kicking him out for totally normal toddler behavior, you should have a serious conversation with your provider.  

    Redirection and distraction are my go-to for that age.  When DS tries to get into the cabinet and gets upset that he cannot, move him to another area and engage him in something else.  We have one lower cabinet where I keep things he can play with such as plastic mixing bowls, a couple of metal mixing bowls and the colander.  I would move him to his cabinet, grab a wooden spoon or two and show him how to play the drums on the bowls.  If that didn't work, I would ignore him.  Let him throw a fit (in a safe environment) and go on with whatever you were doing.  If he gets a reaction out of you when he throws a fit, he'll keep trying to get that reaction.  Once he realizes that his fit isn't going to cause you to do anything, they will start to phase out. At 18 months, we've just introduced time-out (1 minute per year old) and I still have to sit with him and basically hold him in place.  

    What works for some won't work for others because kids are so different.  Good luck!
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  • MooOinkMooOink member
    I don't think a 14 month old has any concept of what a time out is. Also, undertakes that at this age they are frustrated because they don't understand why they can't have what they want. They aren't trying to be greedy or difficult or anything. Their needs are so raw, to them, wants are needs. I'm also not sure if at this young of an age, he should be disciplined for his emotions. Just my opinion.
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  • traveltheworldtraveltheworld member

    I don't know if it's normal behaviour or not, but my DS (14 months now) started acting like this when he was 12 months.  I'd say that on a bad day, he'd have 2 or 3 melt-downs.  We try to distract him before he has a melt-down, but since the smallest thing could set him off, we aren't able to catch the melt-downs before they begin all the time. 

    We've found that once he is in melt-down mode, the more we try to comfort and distract him, the worst it gets.  Re-affirming his feelings also do not work - he gets VERY mad.  So now what I do is calmly tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable, and start counting to 10 very slowly.  Once I get to 10, if he is not even trying to calm down, I put him on the floor and walk away immediately.  I'd stay far away enough that he can still see me but I go on "pretending" to do my own thing.  I'd say about half the time he calms down (or tries to) by the time I get to 10. 

    I try to be consistent with this even if we are out.  If we are at the mall or at a store, I take him outside and let him lay on the grass/sidewalk.  Once I see that he is trying to calm down, I pick him up and give him lots of hugs and kisses and praise him.

    I've noticed that even though he still has these tantrums, they seem to be lasting shorter - he used to cry/scream/kick for 20 - 30 minutes and we couldn't even pick him up from the floor to comfort him if we wanted to, now it's about 5 minutes.

     

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